When Wall Street Journal puts a "Nude Miss Subways" on Page 6

  1. miss_subways3_250_01The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country but who will switch to The Washington Times if Rupert Murdoch starts to mess around with their bible and/or puts a daily nude Miss Subways photo on Page 6.
  2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country which is now being run by readers of Rev. Moon's Washington Times.
  3. The Washington Times is read by Moonies, neocons, oligarchs, Third World dictators, president George W. Bush and the entire staff of the Bush White House.
  4. The Washington Examiner (a new 260,000 free circulation daily newspaper) is read by people who simply can't get enough paper thrown in their front yard.  The paper's motto is "We litter you because we love you."
  5. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles which will soon be outsourced to an Asian IT firm along with the Times' entire newsroom staff.
  6. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in colorful pie charts and getting the paper free at hotels.
  7. 10-newspaperlogos_304The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.  They continue to deny the rumors that the newspaper is being offered for sale to Whitey Bulger.
  8. The Boston Herald is read by people who move their lips when they read the race track results and who hope it's sold back to Murdoch so Rupert can put a girlie photo on Page 6 every day.
  9. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
  10. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated and the editorials are written by a religious-right ultra conservative.  The newspaper already has girlie picturs (sp) on Page 6.
  11. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores and Lottery results.
  12. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store and who can read and chew gum at the same time.
  13. The Cape Cod Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something in which to wrap it.
  14. The Enterprise Newspapers are read by people in the Upper Cape who require that a weekly be literate, relevant, informed, factual, fair and owned by Cape Codders.
  15. The Chatham-Harwich Chronicle is read by people who believe the other 13 towns are non-U and probably vote Democrat anyway.
  16. The Gatehouse Weeklies are read by people who only want to read about the stuff that happens in their town and maybe the town next door.
  17. The Cape Cod Voice is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it, but if so, they oppose all that the rest of you stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
  18. capecodtoday is read by people who are not interested in anything which happens over the bridge... any bridge.

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