2012: Obama-Biden in landslide; Palin-Brown a distant third place

Exit polls reveal an astonishing voter migration
Tea Party candidate Lush Rimjob amazes pollsters with 2nd place win
Jeff Perry wins 2nd term, Joseph Kennedy III wins U.S. Senate seat

November 7, 2012 ~ By Retlaw Nillor Skoorb, INS.

Bimbo bust - The two tickets with attractive women came in second and third, above Tea Party: Lush Rimjob and Ann Coulter, below them, Republican Party ticket: Sarah Palin and Scott Brown.

It was an early night for the TV news anchors last evening when the Barack Obama vote numbers were so big and so soon that all four networks, ABC, CBS, NBC and FIX-Noise, called the Democrat the winner ten minutes after the polls closed in Dixville Notch, NH where all 21 voters cast ballots for the incumbent.

In 2008 Republican John McCain received 6 votes there. This year his former running mate Sarah Palin got 1 as did third party candidate Lush Rimjob.

Extensive exit polling revealed that Mr. Obama was returned to the White House for another four years by moderate Republican voters who voiced fear and loathing for MS Palin despite the ameliorating influences of her running mate the more moderate and articulate Scott Brown.

As Rolling Stone had predicted, Obama has been captured by "Inside the beltway boogie" which has co-opted most presidents from the hinterlands, and his reelection hopes were dim without the GOP party's poor pick for Pres.

Almost as shocking for pundits were the voter numbers for third party candidate Lush Rimjob who was drafted by the Tea Party last summer when MS Palin made the mistake of saying that she felt Social Security might still be allowed in her administration.

Despite her endorsement of the Tea Party agenda items urging the return of the "Literacy Test" and "Poll Tax" requirements for voters, it apparently wasn't enough to satisfy the "baggers" as they call themselves. The movement to reinstate both the Literacy Test and the Poll Tax were initiated at the Tea Party Convention in February 2010 in a speech by former Colorado Congressman Tom Tancreco.

Local upsets and also-rans, Perry in, Peake out, Stead whips O'Leary

Two losers: Sarah Peake (on right) seems amused at Rob O'Leary's "hair-piece malfunction" during their joint concession speeches last night.

The political scene on Cape Cod was turned on its head by voters yesterday when they returned arch-conservative Jeff Perry (R) of Sandwich back to Congress for a second term. He easily defeated former State Rep Sarah Peake (D) of Provincetown who gave up her seat to oppose Mr. Perry. Aaron Maloy (R) of Orleans, who changed his anti-gay marriage position shortly after his own wedding last Spring, easily took MS Peake's State Rep seat away from Peter Manso (D) of Provincetown who campaigned from his jail cell where he is serving a 50-year sentence for illegal firearms possession.

In the closely watched State Senate race here, long-time incumbent Rob O'Leary (D) Barnstable was defeated by GOP State Committeewoman Cynthia Stead (R) of Yarmouth.  Her victory turned on O'Leary's continued opposition to the highly successful Cape Wind farm which has been producing higher than expected energy loads after its start-up earlier this year.

Cape Wind to the rescue

Yesterday's violent nor'easter caused several power outages on the Outer and Lower Cape, and NStar credited Cape Wind's production with allowing most polling places to continue operating yesterday. The turbines offshore were generating enough electricity to satisfy all of Cape Cod as well as most of Plymouth and Bristol Counties just over the bridge, a toal of 10% of the statewide needs.

In one of the day's more ironic twists, Rob O'Leary's toupee blew off during his concession speech shocking supporters who had long admired his well-coiffed locks.

"Kennedy Seat" returns to Klan

Former Asst. D.A. Joseph Kennedy III (D) Brighton wrested the U.S. Senate seat vacated by Scott Brown (R) of Wrenthem when he accepted the Republican nomination for Vice President, by defeating Robert Hedlund (R) of Weymouth by 13 votes statewide.

The son of Joe "For Oil" Kennedy's nomination had surprised most Bay State democrats who had expected former Governor Deval Patrick (D) of Milton, who was defeated by Christy Mihos (R) of Yarmouth in 2010, to seek that office rather than returning as General Council for the Cola Cola company in Georgia.

Pick up a copy of today print edition of cc2day for complete election results.

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