Going For The Bronze [Nor'easter Blues]

... Bronze Mailbox, That Is

A man from East Falmouth is the funniest guy in jail this morning after being caught trying to steal a bronze mailbox encasement.

Joseph Vacchino Jr. was taken into custody last night. He was charged with disturbing the peace, larceny/over $250, and malicious destruction of property.

Scoffing at the normal burglar MO of being sneaky and quiet and so forth... JV went for the full frontal assault. He hooked the 600 pound bronze mailbox encasement up to his John Deere tractor. The tractor, which it seems wasn't equpped with Stealth Mode, woke up half the Woods Hole neighborhood. It was just after closing time 1 AM.

The owner of the mailbox was one of those people rousted from his sleep when out on his lawn there arose such a clatter. He ran outside to see what was the matter, and he saw his mailbox being hauled away. I don't know if he was armed (I hope he was), but he managed to hold Vacchino at bay until the proper authorities arrived.

The mailbox encasement has $1500 worth of bronze in it. Vacchino is scheduled to be arraigned today at Falmouth Court.

Remember, kids... the great benefit of doing your crimes in the middle of the night is that people are sleeping and you can get the job done better if you move around stealthily. This benefit is cancelled out when you use a John Deere tractor.

CapeCodToday.com welcomes thoughtful comments and the varied opinions of our readers. We are in no way obligated to post or allow comments that our moderators deem inappropriate. We reserve the right to delete comments we perceive as profane, vulgar, threatening, offensive, racially-biased, homophobic, slanderous, hateful or just plain rude. Commenters may not attack or insult other commenters, readers or writers. Commenters who persist in posting inappropriate comments will be banned from commenting on CapeCodToday.com.