Vote In The Senate Primaries

Candidates Vie To Replace John Kerry

Tuesday is Primary Day for the special Senate election we're having. We here at Cape Cod Today urge you to go out and exercise your right to vote in primaries. We're having this primary because:

  1. Hillary Clinton resigned her position as Secretary of State,
  2. President Barack Obama chose our senior Senator, John Kerry, to replace her,
  3. In order to accept the job, Kerry had to step down from the Senate.

Therefore, we get a special election to see who finishes off Kerry's term. Today, we have the Democratic and Republican primaries. This is where we figure out who contends for the whole enchilada on June 25th's special election.

We have no shortage of interesting candidates. Scott Brown was our junior Senator before getting tomahawk-chopped by the force of nature that is Granny Liz Warren (who I'm pretty sure was the least tenured senior Senator when Kerry stepped down, with a term of service best measured in hours). Amazingly, Brown wanted no part of another dance here, and instead appears poised to try out New Hampshire. I say "amazingly" because of the relative weakness of the remaining contenders. There is not a rock star among them.

We can brush off our Interim Senator right away, as Willie Mo Cowan took the job knowing he'd serve only until we elected someone. He didn't blow up the world while serving, so we wish him well in his future endeavors.

Here's who is running today for the big parties:

- (D) Ed Markey, US Representative from the 5th District

- (D) Stephen Lynch, US Representative from the 8th District

- (R) Daniel Winslow, State Representative from 9th Norfolk District

- (R) Gabriel Gomez, businessman

- (R) Michael Sullivan, former DA

Now, there are those who say that it doesn't matter who the GOP runs. Massachusetts is a blue state, and we're going to elect a blue Senator. Scott Brown was as palatable a candidate as the GOP has ever run in this state, and he got un-incumbented by a fuzzy-cheeked rookie. But Scott Brown also won a similar special election to today's affair, and every voter should remember that.

Still... this could be like 2004 in baseball... the real World Series was the Red Sox and the Yankees deciding which of them would be whipping St. Louis at the afterparty. Lynch vs Markey could be our true Senate race.

Even if it is, a politically minded person can still have a good time working these primaries. Here are a few ideas:

- The one GOP who scares the liberals is that Gomez guy. Just by his last name, he has the potential to drain off some of the power base from those EBT card handing-out SOBs. Vote for one of the white guys, so as to damage the GOP's slim chances.

- Vote for Gomez, who is a former Navy SEAL. Massachusetts has a tremendous fighting history, and we deserve the toughest Senator of all time. I'm rooting in advance for Gee Double to take Deval's seat, so I can do my Jesse Ventura impression 24-7 ("I was a Governor... a fighter... a Navy SEAL.... I've seen things that will blow your mind...") and make the people around me wish for my untimely demise.

- If you're a Republican, why not take a Demo ballot and use it against likely winner Ed Markey? If Winslow Gomez-Sullivan is to have any chance against Big Blue in the real election, it won't hurt their cause if Markey has to struggle to get out of the primaries.

- Advance the cause of Stephen Lynch, who would be the more fun candidate. For starters, he has both a smoking-marijuana arrest (at a 1977 Willie Nelson contest) to make the stoners love him, while also having a Tea Party-friendly charges-dropped arrest for an assault on Iranian anti-American protesters in 1979.

- Write in Scott Brown. If he picks up 50,000 votes, maybe he'll be the June Surprise in the special election.

Whatever you do, you should vote. I'm not one to say "if you don't vote, you can't complain." I don't get to vote at Burger King, but I will complain if they f*ck up the Whopper that I paid for. If you'e in the system in any manner, you get to complain. However, you only have yourself to blame if you wake up one morning and your new Senator is bringing in UN troops to take your guns and vaccinate your children or whatever.

My people at District 1 in Buzzards Bay are reporting low turnout, and you literally won't have to wait an instant to get your vote on. Get out and do your civic duty!

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