The National Guard has announced that three Afghanistan National Army soldiers have fled a training exercise being held at the Joint Base:Cape Cod. That's right here in Bourne, folks!
Don't worry... these are the Afghanistan people who like us, not the ones who steal our jets and wreck stuff. I think these are more like the Afghans who worked with Rambo III.
Maj. Jan Mohammad Arash, Capt. Mohammad Nasir "Nasty Nas" Askarzada, and Capt. Noorullah Aminyar are the newest residents of the town. They aren't dangerous, according to the National Guard.
The soldiers had freedom to come and go from the base whenever they were off duty. The missing soldiers had reportedly gone to Hyannis, and were last seen at the Cape Cod Mall. They were part of a training exercise with soldiers from Mongolia, Pakistan, Tajikistan and Kazakhstan. They were working on war games scenario training.
From what I have seen of Afghanistan, you really can't blame them for wanting to stay in Bourne. I assume they are 100% the opposite of Homesick. However, I also assume that someone's out looking for them. I'd try to do nothing at all Al Queada-ish tonight, especially outside.
No, you can't shoot one if you have a "Terrorist Hunting Permit" bumper sticker on your truck. Well, at least not legally. The weather's awful tonight anyhow, let the professionals handle it.
We think they went thattaway! OK, that's actually a picture from another story.
UPDATE: It's the lead story on AOL News.
UPDATE II: Three other Afghans, being trained by the DEA, fled from a Washington DC event.
UPDATE II: They could be at the Mashpee Ballet. One Muslim-friendly stripper trumps ninety-nine virgins nine days a week.