Journey's blog

New Book Coming!

 

Alberta

Get ready my followers. I finished The Rusty Years. My first fictional story. It will be a sequel in 3 books. Hopefully, it will be in print in 6 months.

Except: 

Today, June 14, 2013, is my birthday.  How did I ever live through all the catastrophes and heartbreak in my life to reach the ripe old age of ninety-two?  

Yes, Jenny Rose has been through a lot.  Many past memories of her growing years traveled through her old mind, as she sat in her rocking chair on the front porch facing the wide-open ocean from her home in Chatham, Massachusetts.  She kept the old rocker that her mother had used every night to read her stories while she sat on her lap as a young child.

Her memories traveled to losing her true love, Todd Costa, and giving their child up for adoption. Even at this old age, Jenny couldn't forget the past.  She struggled to let go, but wanted answers before she died. What happened to her daughter?  Where did she and Todd go wrong?

 

 

 

Alberta Sequeira

[email protected]

Welcome 2017

Alberta at Tony's

Yes, it’s here. A new year…a new beginning. No more putting your head in the sand.

Here are your New Years Goals.

I am an alcoholic and I need to face the fact. I want my wife, husband, children, job, friends and life back. I will not let anything get in my way; lies, other abusers calling me, going to drinking parties, a slip, or negative friends.

I will find:

A recovery program, new sober friends, search out jobs, face my past hurts and pains to talk them out with a professional team, forgive and let the past go. I will put my weakness in God’s hands, I won’t allow someone who hurt me to keep me from having the life God intended me to have, go into detox if necessary, find an outlet with exercise and fun, start a hobby, read, enjoy a non-alcoholic beverage!

Now, write down your own dreams you want to follow. Don’t get overwhelmed. Do them one at a time. If you fall, get up and start over. It took you a long time to become an alcoholic or drug addict, it will take you time to heal.

Be good to yourself. Have faith in God and you will in yourself. Pray. It’s more powerful than you think. Don’t think negative and push the fear away. Go to your house of worship.

Purchase my books at https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=alberta+sequeira from Amazon. Hopefully, one of my books will be like a potato chip….you start on one and want to finish them all. I love reviews from readers on Amazon!

Alberta Sequeira

Website: www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com

Email: [email protected]

Find the Why!

I have always believed that the professionals need to find out "Why" the substance abusers use; not concentrating on trying to cure them of their alcohol, drug or precription habits.  

Looking back to when I had been blessed with my husband, Richard (who we called Richie), and my daughter, Lori, being in my life, I remember the people they were before this horrible alcohol abuse kept them from being happy, as they once were.

Both of them had pain from their past and I didn't see it or tried.  I looked at the "problem" with their drinking; the blackouts, yelling or fights.  My life was upside down from the effects of their actions, and I had been struggling to get my normal life back, when I should have stopped and looked at how to help them get their lives back, get them into recovery (which they had in time).  

I should have sat down in a peaceful atmosphere and talked to them--no, I take that back. I should have listened to their hurt and pain. We don't learn anything from doing all the talking. 

I should have talked to Lori and Debbie after their father died in the beginning with our quiet time about my life with their father's drinking coming into our family and what happened when they were  babies listening to the fights and confusion. If I had, maybe, just maybe, Lori would have understood why she grew up with fear and no security in her life. 

As for Richie, I should have made demands as soon as I realized there was a drinking problem. How do you know it's a problem?  When it causes problems. Instead, I could have  gotten the highest award for being an enabler. There was the covering up with family that there was even a problem, not talking to Richie about it the day after a blackout, instead I went into the silent treatment. 

But the healthiest action should have been demanding getting professional help. If the answer, which it was, had been no, than I should have kicked him out until he did. I gave him no choice and excepted his actions day after day, year after year. When in the meantime, my daughters suffered. As parents, it's up to us to protect our children, not the other parent using. 

I didn't make him drink, but I helped bring him deeper into his problem. We didn't know Lori had a problem until she was thirty-seven and she died at thirty-nine. See doing something about the problem, even if they never recover, is from love and helps them look at their problem and maybe desire the want to stop their merry-go-round of bouts.

Richie came from a family of drinkers..another reason I believe this disease can be hereditary for some users. Others start by following the crowd, too many parties with heavy drinking, wanting to fit in with friends, have past hurts they are trying to bury, instead of facing them head-on, losing someone they love from death or a breakup. The list can go on. Instead of trying to get closer to Richie and trying to understand him, I pulled away from anger, fear, and abuse. One huge mistake, I didn't reach out for help for myself until ten years went by and the demon had a tight grip on him. I didn't turn to parents who might have helped us. 

As for Lori, after I lost Richie to cirrhosis of the liver, I didn't take the time to see the pain she had been in with her life.  I was now alone as a parent trying to act like a dad also instead of sitting down with both Lori and Debbie and talking about the loss of their father. We buried our heads in the sand. I was the adult, I should have started the talk and had us all listen to each other's pain.

I had no education on addiction. I came from a happy, close family. I was young myself with no idea what this disease was or how it could hurt the whole family. Looking back, if did have the knowledge maybe the problem would have been handled differently.  

Listen to your loved one!! That's the beginning and my most important advice. Don't give up on them. 

Lori loved and hurt losing her father (more than I had realized). Her drinking caused her to lose her job, home, car, kids, and her pride! 

Am I punishing myself...as people say I do?  No, I see the signs after their deaths of things I could have done to maybe help the situation. It's the maybe, should have, could have that kill us when they die. I want to open your eyes to what you maybe able to do to save your loved one, instead of going to a cemetery on holidays to see them. 

My books are in paperback and Kindle.   Go to my site:https://amazon.com/author/albertasequeira

Hopefully, my books will be like potato chips....you start on one and want to finish them all.  As always, I welcome and love reviews on Amazon.

Alberta Sequeira

Website: www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com
Email: [email protected]

Merry Christmas to All

christmas-bulbs      christmas-candles

Christmas has different meanings to all of us. I love this picture of the candles. It’s a time for peace and love. Those feelings come over me seeing the light flickering.

birth-of-jesus

Most of all, Christmas is Jesus. His birth to save us. Bring Him in your life. You won’t feel alone. Just open your hearts. Forget the gifts under the tree for a moment and remember what “Christ”..mas is all about for us.

Let Christmas and New Years be a safe holiday for all of you. Keep close to the people that love you. If you’re fighting your addiction, be with friends and family that don’t use. This is where you get high.

Alberta Sequeira

www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com

[email protected]

Please don't drink for the Holidays. We love you!

Merry Christmas!

Al & Alberta

 

Both my husband, Al, and myself, wish all of you a very Merry Christmas. It's a time to be thankful for what we have had through the year.

Sometimes, we aren't blessed with sharing our holiday with loved ones. Families maybe in different states and some of us might have lost loved ones. November 22, 2016 made ten years my daughter, Lori, has been gone from dying of cirrhosis of the liver from years of drinking. It doesn't seem possible that many years have passed.

The gap is always there opening gifts, seeing her children, having a lump in my throat hearing Christmas songs, and sitting around the dinning room table having a holiday meal. Her seat is empty again for another year.

I have to be thankful that we have our other children, grandchildren, a great-grandchild with another one due in May of 2017. God does bless us. We can't question his reasons on why he calls others home, and many too early in their life. He is a loving God. Our loved ones chose to go down this path. That does not ease the pain and it's not easy to say.

They are still with us. Our Blessed Mother in Medjugorje in Bosnia let one of the six visionaries see her Mom on her birthday, three months after she had died. She not only saw her but she spoke to her. The mother said, "I see you each and everyday, and I'm proud of you."

So remember, they do see us in a beautiful and peaceful world above us. They are no longer in suffering. Try to love and forgive.

My book A Spiritual Renewal: A Journey to Medjugorje is a wonderful memoir showing the love in a family and miracles that bring me to Medjugorje after three miracles happened to me. My books are in paperback and Kindle.   Go to my site:https://amazon.com/author/albertasequeira

Hopefully, my books will be like potato chips....you start on one and want to finish them all.  As always, I welcome and love reviews on Amazon.

Alberta Sequeira

Website: www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com
Email: [email protected]

Give a Book that Speaks to Substance Abusers instead of You!

 

NB Book Festival

I will went to Durfee High School for only Saturday, December 3, 2016 from 10am-4pm. Sunday, I had other plans. Not a bad day. My best part with selling books is meeting people. So many want to  share their lives with the topic of substance abuse in their families. The sad part is hearing, way too often, that the result was the death of their loved one. 

The best book of the day was What is and isn't Working for the Alcoholic and Addict. Reason being, we as family members, counselors or married partners want to know what substance abusers want from us to help them seek professional help. Read the book, and leave it for them without any lectures. "I read this great book and thought you might enjoy it. Make sure you give it back when you're done." The contributors talk to them, not us. 

Thirty-four alcoholic and drug user, from The United States and Canada, along with people abusing prescription drugs, tell their honest stories. Two women started drinking at five and seven years old from watching their parents. Another drank ginger ale and walked around falling to mimic parents actions at parties at home being drunk. 

Learn how the mindset is with substance abusers. See how our innocent enabling only brings them deeper into their alcohol or drug abuse. Read what you do in your early years is what and who you become as an adult.

Remember Christmas is coming and a book added to a gift is a joy to someone and also educational! Facing the problem together is the start of healing and recovery.

Go to my site: https://amazon.com/author/albertasequeira
Hopefully, my books will be like potato chips....you start on one and want to finish them all.  As always, I "love reviews."

Alberta Sequeira

Website: www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com
Email: [email protected]

 

Marijuana has passed!

lori-water-raffing  Lori Cahill

You voted. Hopefully, I'm wrong and our new law doesn't add to our drug and alcohol problems. I'm sure for those who want to get high will find the locations to supply their thrills.

I hope you remember Marijuana is another step closer to heavier drugs. None of us think bad things will happen to us. They occur with others. We think we are protected. 

I thought the same with my daughter, Lori, drinking. It's a stage. She'll give it up. After three rehabs, she died. November 24, 2016, will mark ten years we have lost our beautiful daughter. 

She thought taking the light smokes were just helping a happy time with her friends. She added the alcohol and who knows what else. 

 Lori, feared dying like her father. She was by his side at the VA Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island with cirrhosis of the liver when he died at forty-five years of age. She lost hers at thirty-nine. 

I'm trying to open your eyes to addiction, whether drugs or alcohol abuse. Is it worth it? Do you need to take things into your body that will kill you? Are you that bored and desperate for friends that you have to follow the crowd? 

If your actions are causing problems in your life and those around you, stop..............think of it getting worse. 

Alberta Sequeira

Website: www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com

Email: [email protected]

Books: www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira

A Spiritual Renewal

Spiritual Renewal Cover

I'd like to tell you about my book A Spiritual Renewal: A Journey to Medjugorje. Men may look at my book as "girly." It's far from the truth.

It's about my relationship with my father, Brigadier General, Albert L. Gramm, before he died in 1990 from cancer. He had been one of the commanding officers for the 26th Yankee Division during WWII, fighting in some famous battles like, Lorraine, Metz and The Battle of the Bulge.

What do all children from military families do? We don't ask questions about our loved ones who served in the service..any branch. When they are dying, we realize we let history go without knowing who they were and what they sacrificed for us. 

I saw the religious side of my father his last 2 weeks of life, while he struggled to concentration on his rosary. I learned...too late, that he had promised The Blessed Mother that if she got him home safely to his family after the war, he would say the rosary the rest of his life. That was why it was so important for him to hold the beads in his hands.

My sister led the prayer when he couldn't say them. It was in my forties that I learned this beautiful prayer for the first time since getting a rosary after First Communion. It's a story of Jesus and Mary's life. I have his rosaries and I say them daily. They were the ones that I had taken in 1998 to Medjugorje, and a year later, the chain turned gold.

I wrote about the testimonies from other veterans who served with him or knew him. They talked about the reality of war. War in foreign countries that we pray do not happen on our land of the USA. With todays way of life, and the threats hanging from other countries, it could happen.

I end by writing about the three miracles that happened to me to bring me to Medjugorje in Bosnia. A trip my father wanted to make hoping for his miracle but became too weak. It's there in that tiny, remote village, and after seeing four out of six visionaries having apparitions with Our Lady (since 1981 and still daily) that I returned to my lost faith. It doesn't matter which denomination you belong to, miracles are happening to millions who make the trip to this holy place. It brought God back into my life. I realized that I not only needed Him, but I want Him. 

It's a story of love, miracles and family. It's a book for all. Christmas is not that far off. It would be a great book to put in someone's stockings! 

My other books are a gift to a loved one fighting their alcohol or drug addiction. Family members are struggling to help when recoveries are slow. They are books for all. 

Go to my site: https://amazon.com/author/albertasequeira

Hopefully, my books will be like potato chips....you start on one and want to finish them all!! ***As always, I love reviews.

Alberta Sequeira

Website: www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com

Email: [email protected]

Cigarette Addiction

albert-in-stand

Addiction can come in many forms, whether it be substance abuse, weight problems, cigarettes, to nail bitting. I'm sure I've left a ton of other habits out.

I want to talk today about cigarettes. Above is a picture of my twin brother, Albert. He looks healthy in the picture. Not today. I hate to put the picture up that I took of him at a rehabilitation center in Boynton Beach Florida a week ago. If I did post it, maybe it would scare the living hell out of smokers...or they would look at it and say..."Not me."

My brother turned 75 years old last year in this picture. Maybe it's because I love him, but he sure doesn't look it. Today, suffering from lung cancer and fighting for his life, he looks old and deathly sick. He is showing his bones and can't walk. 

It broke my heart to no end losing my husband, Richie and my daughter, Lori, to their alcohol abuse. Now I'm watching my dearest friend, my brother, suffering and I can't do a thing to help him. Losing a brother is painful enough, but he is my twin. The memories throughout our lifetime growing up can't be beat.

To show how addiction gets a hold of you or you think you can beat the odds, Albert had the first episode of lung cancer in 1990, and had a first time treatment of its kind at the Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts. He was living in Stoughton, MA at the time. 

A Japanese doctor completely cured him. They brought doctors from Japan to look at him and the treatment. Being cured was a gift, but Albert thought he was safe to continue. His voice was raspy and deep. 

For 26 years he continued until it caught up to him. Now, he can't talk above a whisper. I can't count the times that I begged him to quit for just the reason that ended him fighting for his life. 

For some reason, as humans, we think the terrible things we hear that happens to others will not hit us. We feel we are in control of the problem. His remark to me one day was, "We all have to die somehow." Looking at him in a hospital bed so sickly, I wonder if he wishes he had flushed those dam cigarettes down the toilet?

So to those who read this and are smoking, please, don't say, "It won't happen to me." It takes years to have the demon attack you with your organs and shut them down. It could be cancer of the tongue, lungs, heart, kidneys, liver, gallbladder or other places. Don't wait for it to happen and then you give them up. Do it NOW!

God didn't make our bodies so that it needs smoke inside for it to survive. If you could see your insides with the damage you are doing to it, the black covering all over your organs, I wonder if you would still go on lighting up that cigarette. 

Cigarette manufacturers know just what they are doing; like drug dealers passing out the heroine and other drugs to keep our kids and others doped up. It's about money. Their money. You can drop dead tomorrow and they would not have an ounce of regret that you left your children behind, parents, husband or daughter. 

Why can't people live their lives without needing something to put them on a high or drown their mental problems by not getting help? Please, please, stop and think of what you are doing to yourself. Live the life God wanted you to live. 

We are doing the same thing with the air with pollution. Yes, a different topic, but the same problem. "WE" are the ones who can stop the addiction to ourselves and our surroundings. Stop meeting the drug dealers on the corner, stop buying cigarettes that will kill you. It's advertised on the package so take it seriously. It's not a joke. The manufacturers put it on the package to save themselves....not you. 

Keep Albert, and every person suffering with addiction in any form, in your prayers. We who don't use think it is easy to stop, but not the addicted.

Alberta Sequeira

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