How could a once gentle, loving husband become violent from drinking? He swore never to become like his mother or sister from their alcohol abuse. Yet, the children of an alcoholic often go down the same path.
I wrote about our nightmarish episodes with Richie’s blackouts coming home in the early morning hours looking for a fight over anything or everything.
Here is an excerpt from Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round; An Alcoholic Family in Crisis:
Suddenly, he grabbed my hair and pulled me down to my knees by the armchair.
“What are you doing?” I screamed trying to get my hair out of his fingers.
He was so close to my face that I could feel his hot, liquor-soaked breath on me. His eyes were bloodshot, and his stale breath turned my stomach.
Stop, Richie. You don’t know what you’re doing,” I pleaded realizing that he was in a blackout. There was no reasoning with him.
He had a death grip on my hair. It felt like every root came loose from my scalp.
He started to bang my head against the armchair repeatedly. My head felt like it exploded; my stomach churned and I felt nausea well up in my throat. My surroundings became fuzzy. His voice seemed far off, and I was on the verge of passing out. Words couldn’t come out of my mouth. I felt like a rag doll being thrown back and forth.
Suddenly, he let go of me and I fell down onto the rug. Instead of waiting for me to lift myself up, he left me there. He turned and went into the bedroom.
I was stunned and unable to move. The pain shot up into my head, and I couldn’t function. I was shocked that he physically hurt me so badly. My fear rose, knowing that he was now capable of killing me.
How many of us put up with this kind of abuse? Is it from fear of leaving, having no job to be able to support ourselves and the kids or is it from the life-threating belief that the kids need their father/mother? Our children don’t need that kind of love. It’s up to us as parents to protect them.
Read about my constant enabling that only pushed Richie deeper into his addiction in my memoir Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round; An Alcoholic Family in Crisis through Amazon.com or Readmore Books in Taunton, Massachusetts.