Here are some questions for the non-drinker in the family to ask themselves with honesty to see if you are becoming an enabler because of the drinker, which will only bring them deeper into their addiction.
1. Are you counting how often the person is drinking?
2. Is there becoming a money problem meeting bills because of the drinking?
3. Are you constantly telling lies to cover up the person’s actions?
4. Do you honestly believe if the drinker loved you that they would stop?
5. Are you blaming the drinking of your loved one on their friends?
6. Are your plans for events being canceled numerous times?
7. Do you make threats to the person drinking and find you don’t follow through?
8. Do you find yourself smelling the air or their breath to see if they have drank?
9. Are you afraid to bring the topic up to only cause a fight?
10. Does the drinker embarrass you when you go to gatherings?
11. Do you dread the holidays because of their actions from drinking?
12. Have you had to call the police because of their behavior?
13. Have you backed out of invitations because of the fear of them over-drinking.
14. Do you hate yourself from the lengths you go through to lie for them?
15. Do you believe their drinking is the only problem in the family?
16. Is your daily life consumed with fear, anger, confusion, depression, hopelessness or abuse, physically or emotionally?
17. Are you afraid to open up to a professional or family member to reach out for help?
These are questions Al-Anon may ask you. Be honest with yourself and reach out for the help. The sooner you do, the faster the problem might be solved.