Losing a Child from Alcoholism

 

Please, God, Not Two        Lori's picture for book (2)

Sequel to Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round

There can't be a pain worse than losing a child. It doesn't matter how or where. They can be an infant up to adulthood, and the pain can still hit you like nothing else. The shock of being in the category of losing a child is devastating. It always happens to others we think. There is no protective bubble around us with this kind of loss. 

When we lost Lori, I felt my world end. It had been bad enough losing my husband, Richie, but not a second family member. How could I have been so blind? Easy. The addict hides their actions and habit for years before it is even known that there is a problem. 

I blew off her last year in Dighton-Rehoboth High School as just following the crowd and would stop drinking once she graduated. I never related it to a family disease that was very high on her dad's side. Foolish thinking for someone who buried a husband from alcohol abuse. Even family members go into denial like the addict or become huge enablers bringing them deeper into their addiction.

Lori got married, had two beautiful children, Meagan and Joe, and we thought she had it all. Life changes and we found out when she was 37 years old that she had an alcoholic problem. Before admitting herself into the Gosnold Rehab in E. Falmouth, MA, we never knew it. 

The next two years had Lori in and out of the Gosnold twice and once in Butler Hospital in Providence, RI. Her stage of life from drinking had her lose a solid Payroll Manager position, her car had been repossessed, lost her home and her dignity. Our heart broke seeing her go from one place to another or not knowing where she was living. A woman who had it all. A woman who loved life, friends, family and her children. 

Please, God, Not Two follows her life, the hardship of her family and friends who loved her, and watched her go down the wrong path with this heartless demon taking her life at 39 years old at the Charlton Memorial Hospital in Fall River, MA. The same way as her father...alcoholism. Her death opened the raw emotions that I had buried losing Richie. It's not easy going to a gravesite and see your two loved one's names on a tombstone...a father and daughter, gone from such a useless death. 

That is what is happening in this world today with many families.  How do we stop this death rate around the world? How do we wake our children up to the facts that over-drinking, following the crowd or handling their problems with alcohol, drugs or over-dosing with prescription pills, is a deathtrap? 

We need to teach children at a young age, grammar school for a start, to open up when something is bothering them to the point of burying it deep within them and handling it with substance abuse. I believe professionals need to give individual counseling and find out "WHY" they are using. We need to "listen" when our children are trying to hint to us what is going on in their lives that are pulling them into hopelessness and depression. 

 My memoirs are not just about what happened in our lives. Both books, including Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round, talks about our lives behind closed doors and then follows how I should have handled an event instead of the yelling, fighting and asking them why they are using when they don't know themselves. We don't get a second chance to go back and fix things or bring a person back to us. We have to try to reach others who are suffering from the same. One life. Just one... would make it worth the try.

Give these books as a gift to someone, whether it be a birthday gift, someone in the hospital or rehab, or a family member. They were written to help----not to tell a story. I want people to learn from my mistakes.

Add What is and isn't Working for the Alcoholic and Addict: In Their Own Words written by 34 alcoholic and drug users from the USA and Canada on what they believe they need from all of us to help them. It's a book for doctors, counselors, another addict, family and society. You will learn the deep, real pain the addict is mentally and physically suffering in silence, when they really want to reach out for help.

Purchase all books in paperback or Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=alberta+sequeira

CapeCodToday.com welcomes thoughtful comments and the varied opinions of our readers. We are in no way obligated to post or allow comments that our moderators deem inappropriate. We reserve the right to delete comments we perceive as profane, vulgar, threatening, offensive, racially-biased, homophobic, slanderous, hateful or just plain rude. Commenters may not attack or insult other commenters, readers or writers. Commenters who persist in posting inappropriate comments will be banned from commenting on CapeCodToday.com.