This is the first step toward recovery—admitting you have a problem…and wanting professional help!
How many times have you said, "This is the last drink, I will stop tomorrow, I can stop anytime, I hate myself for drinking again, I keep disappointing my family, I want help and am scared to go for help." Many excuses. You start today by calling a substance abuse rehabilitation or ask your doctor to get you into a location. Go with an open heart and listen. Don't argue or disagree. Get the chip off your shoulder that everyone is against you. You drink because of stress, your family demands, money problems, there is confusion in the house. You would be surprised in recovery finding out all those problems stem from your drinking.
Do you find you look for fights so you can walk out of the house and have an excuse to go to that bar? Isn't that why you start the fight? Do you find any excuse to start the fighting?
If you truly want help, you have to get honest with yourself. Don't try proving it to others. Prove it to you. The first step is scary, but thinking about it makes it that way. Once you take the step, it begins your first day of recovery.
Open up with your pain and past hurts. If you don't, the program will not work. Something deep within you is making you depend on drinking and drugs. Don't you find instead of dealing with the problems, you are hiding behind them. There is no shame in whatever happened to you. Hold your head up high. The shame is if you walk away from your help and continue on the road of death, instead of fighting the demon trying to pull you to the cemetery.
Yes, this disease will kill. The percentage is high. You know about the deathrate, hear it on television, read it in the newspaper and still say, "It will not happen to me?" Why not? You are the only one making it happen. No one is killing you, but you. Family can love and support you, but you have to take that step on your own to recover. You took the path of destruction, now you have to go back and take the other one in the fork.
One Day at a Time. Isn't that what they say? They do because it makes sense. You fall, that's okay. Get up again. Fight, fight and fight more. Want recovery more than life itself. Pick up that phone and take the first step. Realize that doctors and counselors are there because they want to help. Most have been right where you are now. That's why they understand your pain. If you fight the program, you will return to the streets, with your drinking and drug friends, and the drug dealers. They will all own your soul.