What really goes on behind the closed doors of a family with a substance abuser? The facts, not made-up stories. I'm one from behind the closed doors and should have opened them and faced the reality of a loved one dying from alcohol abuse. I can't leave out possible drugs.
My two books <em>Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round</em> and its sequel, <em>Please, God, Not Two</em>, are true stories of a wife losing her husband and then the gut pain of watching her daughter go down the same path.
It is played out as a play or story, because I lived through it. Who can know more about the daily enabling and other mistakes than the one who reacted to the drinking and physical abuse from a loved one.
These are not just memoirs, but books of lessons. I think we could title them, <em>What not to do with Alcohol Abuse</em>. All the actions that I didn't take and the wrong paths I went down trying to handle alcoholism my way and hiding our family suffering for years-went on way too long. By then the damage is done with them reaching blackouts.
I watched my daughter, Lori, suffer in awful, physical shakes. We took her to an alcoholic rehab three times, and the family still watched her slowly die in a hospital, as her father, from cirrhosis of the liver. This is a horrible death.
My main goal writing the stories was not so much to say I wrote about the illness or continued habits. I didn't write them to heal as people ask me. I wanted to reach others to be aware of the danger signs and not to do the things I did. It starts at home.
If you lose a loved one, it's not because you were a bad parent or did all the wrong things. Yes, we think it, but the alcoholic and drug addict HAS TO WANT THE HELP. Period!!! If they don't, no begging, threats or pleading will bring them to being sober.
Read the books together and see how alcohol abuse grows slowly to the point of us excepting the signs as being "normal." When a change comes within the person or a family because of their habit with drinking and drug use, it's a problem. Squash it as soon as you realize this is NOT normal drinking.
After reading them, What is and isn't <em>Working for the Alcoholic and Drug Addict </em>is a conclusion to both written by 34 substance abusers from the USA and Canada on what they need to desire the strength to get sober. They want family to hear, what does not work. These testimonies go into the mindset of the abusers to learn how they are suffering mentally and physically and what they believer doesn't work in recovery.
Read Alberta's books at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira"