The Silent Stages of Alcohol Abuse

The Beginning Signs:

Why do all of us look for excuses for someone’s bad behavior, especially is we are embarrassed by their actions?  When Richard and I had married, his drinking brought me into a world I had never entered.

There was never anyone in my family that overdrank.  My dad was a retired Brigadier General and my parents had their friends from the Army over many times to play cards, along with a few drinks to unwind at the end of the week. No one got out of hand, except sending loud laughter through our home from the group enjoying each other.  Their outburst actually gave me peace and security.

Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round: An Alcoholic Family in Crisis is my story of how our family suffered from confusion, fright, insecurities, abuse and my winning an award for enabling, which I had no idea helped the alcoholic or drug user go deeper into their addiction.

This is a book of lessons more than reading a memoir.  I describe every detail on what I had put my two daughters, Debbie and Lori, through from not taking action and making demands.  Drinking becomes a problem, when it causes problems.  My poor children, from their young stages in life, had listened to our fights and lived in fear.  In 1985, Richard died at forty-five years of age at the VA Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island from his addiction.

Reviews from Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round

I’m a recovering alcoholic with a couple decades of 24 hour periods strung together. It’s not often we alcoholics get to see the damage from the loved one’s position as I did in Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round: An Alcoholic Family in Crisis. ~ John Castelot, WMS, Northeast Planning Associates, Inc.

My Master’s in Counseling Degree covered a huge portion on substance abuse counseling.  I found that I learned a great deal more by reading this story, than I did in reading textbooks.  Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round: An Alcoholic Family in Crisis is a must read for counselors, alcoholics and family members of alcoholics. ~ Page Lovitt from Reader Views

The Denial:

Please God Not Two: This Killer Called Alcoholism is the sequel to Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round.

This is a true story in raw form on how I had blinders on not realizing my daughter, Lori, was heading down the same path as her father.  I never believed in my heart that the possibility of losing a second family member from addiction would happen to us.

Yes, the alcoholic has to want help to recover, but tell that to a parent who looks back at the signs we could have seen to help our loved one.  There are too many maybe, if, could have or should have happened runs through our minds.

I wrote some of my talks behind closes doors to alcoholic and drug users in this book. Pages show the torment of watching Lori die in a hospital from the demon returning to get my daughter.  He was not happy with just my husband.

There are so many lessons in these two books for parents and the substance abuser themselves.  Feel the true emotions of alcoholism when it causing the death of our children and mates. This is a must book.

In 2006, Lori died at thirty-seven years old from alcohol abuse at the Charlton Memorial Hospital in Fall River, Massachusetts. 

Reviews from Please, God, Not Two: This Killer Called Alcoholism

Please, God, Not Two: This Killer Called Alcoholism works as a stand-alone, however I recommend you read it and the prequel together to obtain full effect of this poignant story in Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round: An Alcoholic Family in Crisis.  This is a candid look into alcoholism.  Sequeira makes no excuses for herself or for her daughter.  She writes with the best of intentions—to help others struggling to save a family member caught in the relentless grip of this disease. The information is well presented and Sequeira’s experiences are described with a desperate honesty that will have you reaching for tissues in many scenes.  Highly recommended. ~ William R. Potter for Reader’s Choice Book Review

By Deborah L. Hatfield

Wow!!! This book was amazing!!! I could not put it down!  I loved it so much. I already have two friends who are going to be buying this because unfortunately, the subject matter is too close to home for too many. I am so sorry for all that you went through and how you have continued to move forward!

The Mindset of the Substance Abuser

Have you ever wanted to get into the mind of the substance abuser to see how they feel physically and mentally with this disease?  Here is the book.  I call What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict: In Their Own Words the conclusion of the two books above.

After the loss of Richard and Lori, I wanted to know what I missed; what could I have done better to have helped them. What were they thinking during their drinking stages and what did they want from family, counselors, doctor, society and within their recovery programs.  

This book is for ALL. Addicts sharing their experiences, strength and hope with others is something that only a recovering drug addict or alcoholic can do.  It’s a unique gift.  It’s written by 34 alcoholic and drug users from the USA and Canada telling us what they need.  They reach out to family members telling us what we need to do to help them want to go to professional help and what they believe is and isn’t working in their recovery programs.

Reviews of What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict

A Light in the Darkness!

By John R. Daubney

Rarely has any one book described a solution to such a devastating public and personal health issue, in such a variety of voices and pathways, as does Alberta Sequeira's "What is and isn''t Working for the Alcoholic."

In this era of ever-increasing addiction to all types of substances including drugs and the ever-ongoing problem of alcohol addiction and abuse, this book offers hope and enlightenment to the addict and to those who love them and to the general public. There are few people whose lives have not been touched in some way by this epidemic. Frustration, chronic fear, worry, helplessness, and hopelessness characterize those of us who attempt to help or even control the downward spiral we witness in those we care about who are addicted or effected by these diseases. Without help we stand little chance of breaking free from these chains.

This amazing book, however, offers hope and direction through the stories of those who have been there in the "trenches" - the addict and those who love them. This book identifies through the stories of those who have contributed that there are many "roads up the mountain" of freedom. It's up to each of us to choose which path we will take.

Thank you, Alberta, for your courage and for your passion for helping those effected by this illness and showing us that this illness is not hopeless, and can, in fact, through recovery be the doorway into a new life.

Richard and Lori are buried together at the St. Patrick Cemetery in Somerset, Massachusetts.

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