Journey's blog

A Hard Sell

Selling anything is really hard work for sales people. I went to the Lakeville Art's Festival, and I swear that date brings rain. It's a small event in town, but everyone likes a sunny day to spend time walking their dogs and looking at the crafts. The sun was nowhere to be seen bringing a day of clouds and dampness. You know, that cold raw feeling in the air. Selling books at crafts shows is a tough business. Selling books on alcohol abuse is even harder.

So many people say the topic is too close to home, or it brings back bad memories. As for the alcoholics and drug users, I believe my new book, What is and isn't Working for the Alcoholic and Addict is starting to move. Here is a book that helps take the pressure off the non-drinker trying to help their loved one, gets the message out to doctors, counselors and society on what they believe has to change to help them. How?

For the Family:

Let the 34 alcoholic and drug contributors of the book do the work for you. That is why they are telling the world their lives with addiction to help others. All of us for some unknown reason hate getting advice from family members, yet we listen to strangers. I gave a talk a few weeks ago at the UMass University in Boston, Massachusetts, and two women were frustrated trying to help the alcoholic.

I told them to buy the book, read it, and once they were done, bring it to the home of the person they are trying to help and put it on their table, and just say, "I read this and thought you would find it interesting. Give it back when you are done," and walk away. No more talk on it. Sooner or later, I'm sure the alcoholic will want to read what the others have to say fighting their same battle.

They also tell family members what they believe we should do to help them during their recovery. What are we doing wrong? What do they need from us? The number one thing they say we do wrong is with our innocent enabling which only brings them deeper into their addiction. They answer 23 questions that I was left with when Richie and Lori died from their addiction. I need the answers from no one better than the addicted themselves.

For the Addicted:

What can be more powerful than one addict helping another. It's unique! Who understands you more than someone with the same struggles trying to recover? With 34 short stories, there has to be one person you can relate to and say, "That me" or "That's our family." They are honest telling you how they started, why, who in the family in the past was an alcohol or died from it, what made them get the strength to fight the battle and come out winning. 

Learn that you are not alone, have anything to be ashamed of, fear comes from thinking of taking the steps, but they diminish when you start going forward toward your goal, and how to develop the desire and strength to recover.

Go to Amazon and buy the book in paperback or Kindle. This link will bring you to all my books or just key in my name Alberta Sequeira:

Warning: Babesiosis/A Tick Born Illness


This is going to be an odd post from me. My writings are mostly on substance abuse issues, but I feel it it extremely important to bring notice to Babesiosis that is going around without doctors educating the people of this illness. I have been out of commission and suffered for six weeks with this horrible tick illness. This is worse than Lyme Disease.


Babesiosis is an infection caused by a malaria-like parasite, also called a “piroplasm,” that infects red blood cells. Babesia microti is believed to be the most common piroplasm infecting humans, but scientists have identified over twenty piroplasms carried by ticks. Ticks may carry only Babesia or they may be infected with both Babesia and Lyme spirochetes. People can also get babesiosis from a contaminated blood transfusion.

The first case of babesiosis was reported from Nantucket Island, Massachusetts, in 1969. Since the late1980’s, the disease has spread from the islands off the New England coast to the mainland. Cases have also been reported all across the United States, Europe, and Asia.


Symptoms of babesiosis are similar to those of Lyme disease but it more often starts with a high fever and chills. As the infection progresses, patients may develop fatigue, headache, drenching sweats, muscle aches, nausea, and vomiting. Babesiosis is often so mild it is not noticed but can be life-threatening to people with no spleen, the elderly, and people with weak immune systems. Complications include very low blood pressure, liver problems, severe hemolytic anemia (a breakdown of red blood cells), and kidney failure.

My onset with this illness started in June of this summer when I discovered a “tiny” tick on my upper thigh while showering. I thought it was a piece of lint left from my slacks when I undressed, until I saw a movement from the tick.

It took my husband a long time getting it off with tweezers and putting the whole tick into a baggie in the freezer. The next day, we brought the tick to the doctor who sent it to a lab. I was then sent for a blood test for Lyme disease. The lab goofed and found what kind of tick (deer) but didn’t test for Lyme. The doctor instantly put me on doxycycline for two weeks because these ticks carry Lyme. The test came back negative, so I just carried on with my life as usual.

In August, I noticed I was doing a lot of sleeping on the couch each day and found I had a hard time waking up. I felt drugged. If we went shopping in the morning or other activities, when we came home, I felt weak and had to lay down. After two weeks, I knew this was not normal and called for an appointment. 

The doctors did an EKG on me to see if my heart wasn’t having problems. I am a heart patient with a pacemaker and a diabetic. Everything seemed fine.

Then I got chills, a low-grade fever, body aches, the sweats had me keeping a towel by my bedside to wipe myself, no energy, sleeping during the day, neck soreness, and nausea 24/7 for over two weeks.
Within a week, I developed a huge rash on the back of my waist that was itchy and then turned to pain.

There was no bulls-eye in the center. I had to go through a different blood test which showed Babesiosis. The doctor said lucky this was found because it breaks down the red blood cells and can cause kidney failure. I was then sent for another type of blood test for the red blood cells and kidneys. 

I was immediately put on 1-600 mg of Azithromycin to start and 9 days of 500 mg, on top of Atovaquone 750/5mil, 1 tsp twice a day for 10 days. This medicine cost $700 unless you are lucky like I was, to have the secondary insurance pick some up. It cost me $145. 

Why did I have a negative report in June? I was told that the test was done too soon to show up and that the second round of medicines were the only ones that cure this disease. I am starting to feel myself after four months. 

If anyone is suffering from these symptoms, get a blood test for an unnoticed tick bite. This is a form of Malaria and will keep returning if it is not treated. Your kidneys can also shutdown. After a week of treatment, on my request, I had a blood test again on my kidneys and red blood cells to make sure they were clear because I was still sweating at night.

When I repeat my A1C test in December, I will request the same blood test along with my blood count to confirm no damage has been caused. 

Two doctors told my husband and I that there are more cases of Babesiosis going around than people realize. I also received a call from the Board of Health, needing to report my treatment and medicine that I was taking.

If you have been suffering with these symptoms, do not take them lightly. After three years, one family member had no idea why he was sick with joint pain, headaches, and sweats and learned through tests that he had had Babesiosis way back then. This disease had a long length of time to progress and attacked his body with symptoms that will keep coming back on him as Malaria would show. 

Don't Lose Your Goal

How easy it is to start out gun-ho to go on the road to recovery and then wake up one day and feel your confidence has disappeared. Panic sets and you don’t want to continue. It’s only fear. It’s a distraction you can pass by taking a break. Go for a ride to the beach and unwind, visit family who support you or call a friend from AA who has accomplished overcoming this stage you are in that day. They have all been there.

Don’t go to your regular hangouts, drinking friend or any environment that helped you get into this habit of drinking or getting your drugs. Anyone trying to change the course of their lives runs into roadblocks. It’s what you do about them that counts. How serious are you with wanting recovery? This is only a test. Getting to where you want to be is not easy with any change. Habits are hard to break, and they make you comfortable because you are familiar with that life, even though it’s bad. You have to look at what life you are heading toward, and realize that if you return to your bad actions, life will no longer exist; you will be looking at death.

There can’t be a better feeling of accomplishment for an addict than getting to sobriety. It won’t be easy to get there or stay there. But you can do it. Just read my Narrative Non-Fiction What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict to see how thirty-four addicts recovered. What helped them? You will appreciate the gift because you persevered with every ounce of strength in your body to reach it. Something good is worth fighting for if it gets you healthy in mind and body again.

Don’t mistake your lack of knowledge as lack of ability. Lack of knowledge in not keeping in touch with professionals and the addicts who became sober. Without these, you are apt to quit. Don’t take the easy road to fall again and give up on trying. Everything in life that is good for us comes from keeping that mind clear to get where you want to go.

One problem is feeling you have to get sober fast. You won’t. It took you years to become an alcoholic and it will take time to give it up for good. You have to do the work. Family can only love and support you. When you feel weak to continue on, think back to the deep desire within you that developed to reach your goal. Fight for it again.

Life has a way of working itself forward. We can’t change what we did years ago or yesterday. That’s how life goes forward. It is us that makes the choice to go backwards. Losing your confidence is normal; realize this so don’t get torn apart with this process. Mental work can become exhausting. Buy a good book and relax the mind for a few days or weeks. Everyone needs a break trying to finish a task, because we work so long and hard getting there.

Having stress in life from jobs, raising a family, meeting bills, losing a loved one, breaking up with your lover, problems at school, family fights, or other personal problems, can be an easy excuse for an alcoholic to fall back. Lets face it; alcoholics love excuses to give them a reason to go out and drink. It is not easy either knowing all your drinking friends are gathering together and having what you think is fun. They are only digging a hole faster with their lifestyle. Get honest, out of denial, and tell yourself that you are better off without them or the drinking. Until you reach the point of believing this with your whole heart and mind, you won’t make it.

Become familiar with all your feelings that pull you toward going back to your habit and step through the fear. Start a journal to see how it just keeps repeating itself. Take time to pray to God and ask for His help. Doing this will never have you alone with decisions.

Forgive to Move to Recovery

Forgiving may not seem like an action that is that important to heal and recover from alcohol abuse, but it is. The first person to forgive is yourself. You made the choice to go down the path of addiction with friends, maybe from an emotional or physical event from the past that devastated you, loneliness, hurt, abuse on you, bullying, or whatever reason. We all make mistakes in life. Someone physically hurting us or giving emotional abuse, can mold us into what we become in adulthood.

As a young child, you can't defend yourself. You depended on the other sober parent to protect you and a lot of times that person fails you. I failed my two daughters by not getting them out of that unhealthy environment. Lori became an alcoholic and died like her father. Debbie was effected more emotionally than she knew as time went on in her adult life. Everyone is effected by the drinker. Innocently, the parent becomes a great enabler bringing the alcoholic deeper into their addiction. They live in denial the same as the drinker thinking the problem will go away. So what happens, it's a merry-go-round of sick lives living behind closed doors to silent abuse.

It is not easy to forgive the person who hurts you. If you don't, you live the rest of your life in anger, hurt, resentment, and turn to alcohol or drugs to drown your past. You slowly become the person you were upset with in the first place. This action of over-drinking needs professional help.

We all never forget our past, but it's what we do with the rest of our lives that counts. You can stay stuck feeling sorry for yourselves and hate the person who made your life so awful or forgive them and move on to become better than them. Why give up happiness? Why let the past rip us up inside? They either don't know you are upset with them, or do and don't care. Someday you will look in the mirror and see yourself at sixty years old still drinking because you didn't want to get on with life. You make your changes.

Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves. You don't have to associate with that person and forgiving doesn't mean they were right. It means you are going to go down the healthy path and have a good life for you, a future mate and children. Ending the abuse, starts with you. Don't use your hurts as excuses to drink. Alcoholics look for any excuse to drink so you can feel they are reasons for our actions.

We suffer because we keep thinking back to our pain and we repeat and repeat our past to anyone who will listen. What you are trying to do is show how right you are and how wrong someone else was. You're trying to control the situation. Let it go and put it in God's hands. You can't move on until you let go of the past. You can't return to it and change anything that happened to you. What you are missing is not bringing appreciating the good within you. You hold the key to the way of recovery.


Feel alone and weak? Purchase What is and isn't Working for the Alcoholic and Addict in Amazon. It's written by 34 substance abusers. Who can understand you more than another addict? Learn what helped them. Key in Alberta Sequeira name at and all her books will come up.

The Reality of Taking a Loved One Off Life Support from Alcohol Addiction

Today, I want to take an excerpt from my book Please, God, Not Two: This Killer Called Alcoholism, which is a sequel from Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round: An Alcoholic Family in Crisis. These are my words to describe my pain watching my daughter being taken off life support.


For the last time, Dr. Sousa met with the immediate family in the doctors’ conference room. “Lori’s organs have all shut down. It’s only the life support keeping her going. The next stage is her possibly having a heart attack, as we talked about. The stress of no organs working is going to cause something dramatic to happen to her physically. In two days, Thanksgiving will be here, and it would be sad to have her die on that day. Any day is bad, but the holiday won’t have good memories any of you.”

How could any of them after this, I thought.

We all knew what he was saying. I believed that she died on Sunday, when she had been rushed to ICU hemorrhaging throughout her body. Here it was Tuesday, and we were selfishly keeping her alive by a machine, only for us. She no longer looked like Lori because of the horrible battle her body had gone through trying to hold onto life.

After an hour, the family decided to take her off life support. We were now hoping God would take her swiftly without any more suffering.

Oh God, how do we do this? Once life support is taken off her, she’s gone, never for me to enjoy again. Why didn’t you take her Sunday so we wouldn’t have to make this decision? I felt like we were about to take her life instead of God doing it.

Family members and friends took their time to be with her for the last time. Everyone carried pain on their faces along with the continuous flow of tears.

Lori's son, Joey and her daughter Meagan, arrived and entered the room. We weren’t sure if they should be in the room while they took the machine off their mother. They needed good memories with her. They were only seventeen and eighteen years old. 

The nurse spoke softly to our family, “There’ll be no sudden movements from her, and she’ll go peacefully. We can take the ventilator off her, but I’ll keep the tube in her throat so you won’t hear gurgling sounds. They can upset a family.”

I suddenly felt sick and dizzy. Nausea overtook me. Why did she say that to us? My legs were ready to give out. When my husband, Al, saw my emotional and physical distress, he got me a chair.

The nurse walked over to disconnect the ventilator.

No, don’t touch her! Please, God, not her too. You took my husband, Richie. I’m not going to live through this.

I was trying not to become hysterical, fighting the desire to scream at the top of my lungs. I fought to control the urge to go over and reconnect the ventilator.

She can’t breathe. Put it back on! I was in a state of horror, although, my body was absolutely still, just staring at my daughter, Lori.

“It won’t take long,” the nurse said quietly.

Lori was in the slow process of dying, and the nurse walked around quietly collecting things to be thrown away after shutting everything down. She had no emotional ties.

I watched the monitor as Lori’s vital signs started to fall. Her normal heart rate was erratic turning from short to long wave lengths.

Stop this. Oh, God, her heart is stopping. We’re killing her!

I stood up and kissed her, while the tears blinded me. I whispered, “Go to the light, Lori. Jesus is waiting for you. Take everyone’s love with you.”

She took two deep breaths. Her eyes suddenly opened and rolled back. The nurse came over and closed her eyes so they wouldn’t frighten anyone, but she was too late to hide the scene.

“Oh, God, No, No, No!” I screamed. My daughter was gone. I cried uncontrollably as Al held me. The other family members left the room in tears. My daughter, Debbie, Al, and I stayed.

I sat looking at my daughter, lying so still; no chest movement or sound of her breathing were seen or heard. My child whom I had carried for nine months, the one who moved inside me, the child to whom I had given birth and watched her lungs fill with air to give her first cry. All the memories of love, her laughter that echoed in rooms, were gone. I had watched her take her first steps; watched her go from a child to a teen, to a young woman, to a mother. Even the bad times were good, because she had been with me.

Now, I was there to see her take her last breath. I watched her come into this world, and now watched her leave it. God gives and He takes away, because we belong to Him. Our children are a gift from Our Heavenly Father. In the end, we all return to our Maker.

The alcoholic demon was not happy taking my husband, Richie. It returned to take my precious daughter. I knife went into my chest and cut my heart out. 

Purchase this book and all published by author, Alberta Sequeira at Key in her name to see all her books.

Adapting to Change

How many times in your life have you paused and thought: If you would have told me ten years ago that I'd been doing this heavy drinking, I wouldn't have believed you. Sometimes whatever it is that would have surpassed you ten years before is a good thing, and sometimes it's not a so great.

Life is endlessly surprising, and although you may act though the life you created with drinking and using drugs is in your control, it really isn't. You may act as though the path you took is safe and something that you can stop anytime, but in reality the percentage of deaths with using is overwhelming.

So grow closer to God and prayer, A.A. sponsors, counselors and other alcoholics with a serious desire of reaching sobriety, and hopefully, you will become stronger and wiser to where you are heading; on a dead end road.

Step-Up to Alcohol Abuse

What a title for this topic!

When I was a young, married woman, around my early thirties, I would of read this and thought, "Are you crazy? How?"

The non-drinker lives in denial as much as the substance abuser. We use excuses on why we can't do something, instead of looking at the fact that every person walking this earth has "choices." Taking action against something that is harming you, or your family, is a step closer to resolving the situation. Fear comes from the thought of doing something, but once you take the first step, your cycle completely starts to change. I call it "Getting off the Merry-Go-Round." Someone has to stop it. That is why I titled my first memoir Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round: An Alcoholic Family in Crisis.

The abuser during their drinking, will start to see that you are no longer excepting the fear, confusion and abuse from their actions going through every member of the family. Because you love them, doesn't mean you have to give your safety and life up to save them. They have to save themselves. The more you take from them, the more they will use you as their punching bag; mentally and physically. Once you show them that you can't stand up to them, the control your every move.

Run as fast as you can to professional counseling. If your life has turned into fright or abuse from them coming home after a night, or all day drinking, get a restraining order and get them out until they get help. Have a police officer there while you do it. Have a locksmith at your home the same day you do, because that night, the drinker will become more intoxicated knowing what you had done to them. If they try to come in, call the police and have them arrested. Believe me, you are doing them more good than allowing them to know you won't do a thing to stop them.

If you want out, don't tell them until you have a place, or go directly to a home of protection for women or men. Again, have an officer at the house while you get your things out. Take abuse very serious because I didn't. I am lucky to be alive today. My once shy, loving husband and devoted father to our children, turned our lives into complete fear, along with my poor innocent girls watching and listening with no control to stop it, with the yelling and fighting when my husband arrived home in blackouts. I have had my head smashed into an arm of a chair, causing a concussion keeping me on the couch for three days. I didn't go to the doctors or hospital because he would be arrested. I had been chocked in bed almost to the point of passing out, because he wanted to kill me, and had a threat of him getting ready to throw me through the living room bay window. Now, Who was more sick?!

Why do we allow someone, anyone, to treat us this way? Let friends and family know your living situation with alcohol abuse. Our parents didn't bring us into the world with their love and protection, to be abused by another person. If family is not aware of this, the drinker has no one to answer to for their actions. You help hide it, giving them strength to not stop. The more you allow someone to over-rule your every move or thought, the deeper you bring that person into their addiction from not having to make any choices with changes. Innocently, our enabling keeps the actions going with no results. Tough love is not just an expression. It is a sign of love.

"A new World Health Organization report shows that 3.3 million people die each year from alcohol use. Here is a look at annual alcohol intake around the world in liters per person over the age of 14:"

Russia: 15.1 Australia 12.2 South Africa 11 United States 9.2 China 6.7

This report was taken from the May 16, 2014 Time Magazine on page 8.

The aids epidemic had a loss of 20 million people in twenty years. If you took 3.3 million with alcohol abuse (and that is not including drugs), you would have 60 million deaths in 20 years.

I wonder if this count of deaths was from a disease epidemic, how long it would take for our country and others, to do something dramatic about this situation?

HOTLINE for Domestic Violence: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Interventions at Home with the Addicted

How I wish I had been aware of Intervention shows with alcoholics on television. But we are talking about the eighties and I was in denial with my daughter, Lori, having a problem with drinking. "After all, it must be a stage and when she gets out of her senior year in high school, and away from her friends, she will straighten-out." An ungodly belief after her father, Richard Lopes, died in 1985 at forty-five years of age from the same disease.

Yes, I was so foolish, uneducated and blind to addiction. Lori did give up drinking, or so I thought, once she got married and had two beautiful children. It wasn't until she was thirty-seven years old that she admitted herself into the Gosnold Rehabilitation Center in Falmouth, Massachusetts that family came to realize that she was an alcoholic. How did she hide it so well? Her children were fifteen and sixteen when they were told by family that their mother was battling alcohol abuse. They lived with her day in and day out and had no idea. Lori was a closet-drinker and never stopped drinking since she was a teenager. When she drank at parties, she never got drunk.

When Lori died in 2006 at thirty-nine, I hit upon the Intervention show on television by accident. I was hitting on one show to the next trying to find something to take my mind off the horrible reality of her death. Al would go upstairs to bed and I'd be drowning in my sorrow that life stopped for me. My daughter was no longer breathing. I would never again in my days left of earth hold her, see her smile, hear her contagious laugh, run my fingers through her black, curly, long hair, my eyes would not see her love for her children, Joey and Meagan, or witness her coming through the door yelling, "Hello, I'm here!"

I was glued to the Intervention show nightly because I wanted to learn what Lori had been feeling and needed when I was blind to her slowly dying from her liver, kidneys and other organs shutting down. She never opened up to me or anyone. I punished myself for my ignorance with her actions that I had ignored or never had been aware of at the time. Someone had to blamed, so it had to be me. I was uninformed that it had been Lori's decision to desire the help to recover.

I watched one girl's life on the show who was in her early twenties with two children. Two children that she loved, and yet, had no strength to give up her drinking even for them; like Lori. This woman was in the hospital dying and her family had been warned of the terrible event ready to unfold. Their hearts would be ripped out of them. Somehow by the Power of God, she survived and went back to her counseling. Her counselor asked her how she came out of death.

She replied, "My family. No matter where I was or what bad state I was in, someone, whether my parents, aunts, siblings or others, made a call to me everyday saying they loved me and were there if I needed them. They took turns to help stop the stress on one person. It was their love that made me survive."

It goes to show that it is easy to "tell" someone we love them, but it's "showing" them that gets results. Go to their meetings, counseling or doctor appointments. Give them the hugs and don't be afraid to say you fear losing them. Let them know it's the disease you hate and not them.

Family can form their own interventions at home. Intervention is an event, hopefully, to make the addicted become aware how much we love them and want to give support. So many alcoholics and drug addicts want help but can't take the first step. We need to reach out and take their hands. Something I wish I had done more often with Lori before she died. It's the thinking about giving up their habit that scares them, but once they take that one, tiny step, they are closer to recovery, and it gets easier.

It's painful and sad the we have to lose someone or something that we love to come to terms on what we could have done to achieve better results. Addicts have to be helped to see they don't have to be alone or frightened. They have to see that we love them no matter how many bad falls or turns they take. We'll help dust them off so they can get up and start again toward the goal of sobriety. They have to feel that they are worth something and have many talents to give to their families and society. 

How Do You Quit Drinking?

The struggle with alcoholics is not with quitting their habit, it's with staying sober. My daughter was told by a doctor that they do not recommend that alcoholics quit drinking on their own. Quitting cold turkey can be dangerous to ones health. The addicted can go into a seizures and not come out of one. Quitting alcohol abuse doesn't mean to switch to another drug like marijuana, cocaine or beer.

Alcoholics need a great support system in their fight for recovery. I don't believe they can do it on their own, although, I'm sure others have been blessed to accomplish the task.

John Daubney, an Author, Mentor and Retreat Leader, who was one out of the thirty-four addicts to contribute to my new book What is and isn't Working for the Alcoholic and Addict stated:

"Negotiating the ups and downs of the first few years of recovery contain numerous pitfalls which those in recovery must have the right kind of help with. The best-intention of friends, family, lovers, and co-workers can be healthy supports or obstacles to long-term sobriety. Having the addicts tell their story of what worked for them and what didn't or doesn't work would be a most helpful addiction to the literature on the subject of addiction and recovery.

Addicts sharing their experience, strength and hope with others is something that only a recovering addict or alcoholic can do. It is a unique gift."

We, as non-drinkers, can't understand how addicts suffer. I wanted to learn what Lori suffered mentally and physically because she would not open up to me. That's why I wrote the book.

Another contributor, CW, stated: "I was tired of getting sick, my hands shaking, my vision deteriorating, my nose bleeding, my bowls moving sporadically, not sleeping and feeling safe, along with the violence and running from many situations becoming paranoid to the point of staying home all day."

Do the doctors and counselors really listen to the addicted? Or do they keep giving pills to combat their mental state?

Here is another statement from someone who wanted to stay anonymous in the book, "I would tell doctors and counselors to listen to us. We are drinking for a reason, but can't stop on our own. Help us identify the reason we are drinking. What are we afraid of? What are we trying to hide, our insecurities, our short-comings? Maybe we just don't like who we are sober and truly believe we are better people when we are drinking or using drugs. Most of all, treat us as humans, not a disease."

To what I had seen losing my husband, Richard Lopes, and my daughter, Lori Cahill, with their mental state, I believe that doctors and counselors should study more why a person is drinking or using drugs more than the disease.

Going Back to Dangerous Behavior

How easy it is to go back to things that are familiar and to do what addicts were once comfortable doing in your lives. Some of these behaviors can be destructive, yet you keep going back to them.

You convince yourselves that it won't be that bad if you do back to the ways that almost killed you and believe you can stop if the habit goes too deep. You think, I'm not hurting anyone. You know it is wrong because it's not working, and you know that it's not only hurting you but hurting the people who love you.

You have to accept you are an alcoholic and addicted, but sometimes that is not enough to get the strength to stay away from using. You miss, who you think are friends. They are doing the same so you think why is it bad for me and not them? But it is bad for them. You are thinking this way because you are slowly starting to get the desire to recover and get your life back on track to being healthy. You are looking at not only what you are doing to your body and mind, but seeing what your addicted friends are heading.

Phil Paleologos, a host to the WBSM Radio show out of Fairhaven, Massachusetts, and one of my contributors to my Narrative Non-Ficton What is and isn't Working for the Alcoholic and Addict stated, "You have to fall in love with the struggle." That is such a strong statement. Another remark that hit me was from a football player, sorry can't remember the name, who had it all; fame and money, until he got into drug and alcohol abuse. He was talking to some teenagers and said, "Show me your friends, and I'll tell you your future." Think for a moment on these two remarks. Think hard and often when you feel you are falling back.

You can achieve the recovery, but you think it's too hard and too much work. Don't think about what you have to do, just start toward that goal. Thinking about something is always worse than starting it.