Journey's blog

Where are we heading?

 

DSC01505

Where have people hidden their faith—or do they have any left? Do you remember who God is or Our Lady? It seems as if no one wants to even talk about Heaven, God, miracles, faith or belief. Our Churches are becoming empty with no children attending. 

It takes a tragedy or a life hanging on the line for some to look up to Heaven and pray to God. We want what we want NOW and in our time and way. When we don’t get our prays answered right away or our way, we think that there can’t be a God. He’s the one who answers in His time and way, not ours.

Yes, I was one of them, way back in 1998 taking my trip to Medjugorje in Bosnia with a stranger. I had walked away from the Church, when I had a small breakdown at a Mass. I went down the aisle for Communion and felt all sweaty, had weak and shaky knees, my hands shook, and my heart raced in my chest. I didn’t think I’d make it up to the priest to receive, but I did. After taking the Host, I ran back to my seat, got my two young daughters, and ran out of church. I didn’t go back until fifteen years later.

I blamed God for my breakdown that left me frightened to death to go into a closed area again after the episode. It took years to realize that I had pushed my mind and body beyond what it could take with trying to keep my marriage together and our family, putting up with an alcoholic husband’s behavior. 

My enabling brought him deeper into his addiction going into blackouts. We lost Richard, and twenty years later, I watched one of my daughters die from the same disease of cirrhosis of the liver from drinking. They were buried together. 

It wasn’t until my trip to Medjugorje in Bosnia, watching four out of six visionaries having apparitions with the Blessed Mother, and miracles she showed me with this pilgrimage, that I realized that it’s us that move away from God. He stays at our door waiting for us to unlock it, and allow him into our hearts. It’s God who waits for us to realize that He is all loving and merciful. He made each and everyone of us because He wanted to share His love with us. 

Why we lose loved ones, make the wrong mistakes, choose the wrong person, go with the wrong crowd, we will never know. Maybe when God calls us home, we will understand His actions. 

I wrote about my pain losing my father, Brigadier General, Albert L. Gramm, Sr., from cancer at eighty years old in A Spiritual Renewal; A Journey to Medjugorje. His death brought me back to God after seeing what my father believed in while dying. His faith reached my heart, and I unlocked the door. 

I talk about the miracles that brought me to this holy land in my book. I call Medjugorje “A Sampler of Heaven.” God has a path for us to travel down, and if we do open our hearts, we let Him lead us there. 

Our Lady says she calls each person to Medjugorje herself. She has a reason, which I didn’t come to know until years later. I became a speaker and author from my pain. That’s what Mary wanted me to do. I reach out to substance abusers, their families and the public to do God’s work to try and help the ones lost. I tell them what I had done wrong with trying to help my husband and daughter. All my actions brought them deeper into their habits. My books are more than memoirs. Their books of lessons. 

Read about our lives in all my books at www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira. I love reviews and emails.

Alberta Sequeira
Website: http://www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com
Email: [email protected]

Where are we heading?

 

DSC01505

Where have people hidden their faith—or do they have any left? Do you remember who God is or Our Lady? It seems as if no one wants to even talk about Heaven, God, miracles, faith or belief. Our Churches are becoming empty with no children attending. 

It takes a tragedy or a life hanging on the line for some to look up to Heaven and pray to God. We want what we want NOW and in our time and way. When we don’t get our prays answered right away or our way, we think that there can’t be a God. He’s the one who answers in His time and way, not ours.

Yes, I was one of them, way back in 1998 taking my trip to Medjugorje in Bosnia with a stranger. I had walked away from the Church, when I had a small breakdown at a Mass. I went down the aisle for Communion and felt all sweaty, had weak and shaky knees, my hands shook, and my heart raced in my chest. I didn’t think I’d make it up to the priest to receive, but I did. After taking the Host, I ran back to my seat, got my two young daughters, and ran out of church. I didn’t go back until fifteen years later.

I blamed God for my breakdown that left me frightened to death to go into a closed area again after the episode. It took years to realize that I had pushed my mind and body beyond what it could take with trying to keep my marriage together and our family, putting up with an alcoholic husband’s behavior. 

My enabling brought him deeper into his addiction going into blackouts. We lost Richard, and twenty years later, I watched one of my daughters die from the same disease of cirrhosis of the liver from drinking. They were buried together. 

It wasn’t until my trip to Medjugorje in Bosnia, watching four out of six visionaries having apparitions with the Blessed Mother, and miracles she showed me with this pilgrimage, that I realized that it’s us that move away from God. He stays at our door waiting for us to unlock it, and allow him into our hearts. It’s God who waits for us to realize that He is all loving and merciful. He made each and everyone of us because He wanted to share His love with us. 

Why we lose loved ones, make the wrong mistakes, choose the wrong person, go with the wrong crowd, we will never know. Maybe when God calls us home, we will understand His actions. 

I wrote about my pain losing my father, Brigadier General, Albert L. Gramm, Sr., from cancer at eighty years old in A Spiritual Renewal; A Journey to Medjugorje. His death brought me back to God after seeing what my father believed in while dying. His faith reached my heart, and I unlocked the door. 

I talk about the miracles that brought me to this holy land in my book. I call Medjugorje “A Sampler of Heaven.” God has a path for us to travel down, and if we do open our hearts, we let Him lead us there. 

Our Lady says she calls each person to Medjugorje herself. She has a reason, which I didn’t come to know until years later. I became a speaker and author from my pain. That’s what Mary wanted me to do. I reach out to substance abusers, their families and the public to do God’s work to try and help the ones lost. I tell them what I had done wrong with trying to help my husband and daughter. All my actions brought them deeper into their habits. My books are more than memoirs. Their books of lessons. 

Read about our lives in all my books at www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira. I love reviews and emails.

Alberta Sequeira
Website: http://www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com
Email: [email protected]

Where are we heading?

 

DSC01505

Where have people hidden their faith—or do they have any left? Do you remember who God is or Our Lady? It seems as if no one wants to even talk about Heaven, God, miracles, faith or belief. Our Churches are becoming empty with no children attending. 

It takes a tragedy or a life hanging on the line for some to look up to Heaven and pray to God. We want what we want NOW and in our time and way. When we don’t get our prays answered right away or our way, we think that there can’t be a God. He’s the one who answers in His time and way, not ours.

Yes, I was one of them, way back in 1998 taking my trip to Medjugorje in Bosnia with a stranger. I had walked away from the Church, when I had a small breakdown at a Mass. I went down the aisle for Communion and felt all sweaty, had weak and shaky knees, my hands shook, and my heart raced in my chest. I didn’t think I’d make it up to the priest to receive, but I did. After taking the Host, I ran back to my seat, got my two young daughters, and ran out of church. I didn’t go back until fifteen years later.

I blamed God for my breakdown that left me frightened to death to go into a closed area again after the episode. It took years to realize that I had pushed my mind and body beyond what it could take with trying to keep my marriage together and our family, putting up with an alcoholic husband’s behavior. 

My enabling brought him deeper into his addiction going into blackouts. We lost Richard, and twenty years later, I watched one of my daughters die from the same disease of cirrhosis of the liver from drinking. They were buried together. 

It wasn’t until my trip to Medjugorje in Bosnia, watching four out of six visionaries having apparitions with the Blessed Mother, and miracles she showed me with this pilgrimage, that I realized that it’s us that move away from God. He stays at our door waiting for us to unlock it, and allow him into our hearts. It’s God who waits for us to realize that He is all loving and merciful. He made each and everyone of us because He wanted to share His love with us. 

Why we lose loved ones, make the wrong mistakes, choose the wrong person, go with the wrong crowd, we will never know. Maybe when God calls us home, we will understand His actions. 

I wrote about my pain losing my father, Brigadier General, Albert L. Gramm, Sr., from cancer at eighty years old in A Spiritual Renewal; A Journey to Medjugorje. His death brought me back to God after seeing what my father believed in while dying. His faith reached my heart, and I unlocked the door. 

I talk about the miracles that brought me to this holy land in my book. I call Medjugorje “A Sampler of Heaven.” God has a path for us to travel down, and if we do open our hearts, we let Him lead us there. 

Our Lady says she calls each person to Medjugorje herself. She has a reason, which I didn’t come to know until years later. I became a speaker and author from my pain. That’s what Mary wanted me to do. I reach out to substance abusers, their families and the public to do God’s work to try and help the ones lost. I tell them what I had done wrong with trying to help my husband and daughter. All my actions brought them deeper into their habits. My books are more than memoirs. Their books of lessons. 

Read about our lives in all my books at www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira. I love reviews and emails.

Alberta Sequeira
Website: http://www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com
Email: [email protected]

Family of Substance Abusers

 

What really goes on behind the closed doors of a family with a substance abuser?  The facts, not made-up stories. I'm one from behind the closed doors and should have opened them and faced the reality of a loved one dying from alcohol abuse.  I can't leave out possible drugs.

My two books <em>Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round</em> and its sequel, <em>Please, God, Not Two</em>, are true stories of a wife losing her husband and then the gut pain of watching her daughter go down the same path. 

It is played out as a play or story, because I lived through it. Who can know more about the daily enabling and other mistakes than the one who reacted to the drinking and physical abuse from a loved one.  

These are not just memoirs, but books of lessons. I think we could title them, <em>What not to do with Alcohol Abuse</em>.  All the actions that I didn't take and the wrong paths I went down trying to handle alcoholism my way and hiding our family suffering for years-went on way too long. By then the damage is done with them reaching blackouts.  

I watched my daughter, Lori, suffer in awful, physical shakes.  We took her to an alcoholic rehab three times, and the family still watched her slowly die in a hospital, as her father, from cirrhosis of the liver. This is a horrible death. 

My main goal writing the stories was not so much to say I wrote about the illness or continued habits. I didn't write them to heal as people ask me. I wanted to reach others to be aware of the danger signs and not to do the things I did. It starts at home. 

If you lose a loved one, it's not because you were a bad parent or did all the wrong things. Yes, we think it, but the alcoholic and drug addict HAS TO WANT THE HELP. Period!!! If they don't, no begging, threats or pleading will bring them to being sober.

Read the books together and see how alcohol abuse grows slowly to the point of us excepting the signs as being "normal." When a change comes within the person or a family because of their habit with drinking and drug use, it's a problem. Squash it as soon as you realize this is NOT normal drinking. 

After reading them, What is and isn't <em>Working for the Alcoholic and Drug Addict </em>is a conclusion to both written by 34 substance abusers from the USA and Canada on what they need to desire the strength to get sober. They want family to hear, what does not work. These testimonies go into the mindset of the abusers to learn how they are suffering mentally and physically and what they believer doesn't work in recovery.

Read Alberta's books at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira"

Losing Two Loved Ones from Alcohol Abuse

Loving an Alcoholic is not Enough

NB Book Festival

Look at me with all my books on alcohol addiction from living the actual life with two alcoholics and losing both. Who can give stronger advice than the one who lived through the pain? 

It’s so true with the survivors asking, “What if, I should have, I could have, why didn’t I. The list can go on, because I’ve tried to answer all of them. 

We seem to think that loving a substance abuser is enough to have a loved one stop their addiction. If only it had been that easy. 

We have to understand that the addicted has to want the habit to stop more than life. How? Who really knows. Maybe a family member can pull them through the darkness, a professional, another addict, a stranger. 

I’ve tried the most important one to me, which was turning to God with prayer. Yes, I lost both after years of rosaries, novenas and just opening up my heart to Him. God, for His own reason, wanted them. He gives us a loved one and takes them back. Hopefully, we will come to learn why when we meet again. 

For now, I try my best with book signings at festivals, talks in private to the addicts or in public to reach the hearts of another addict or a family member suffering along watching their loved one slowly killing themselves. 

I think support is needed for both the substance abuse and the family member. My husband, Richie, tried for two months alone with a counselor and two with me in the private meetings. He walked away thinking he still had no problem, because his friends were all drinking. 

Richie died at forty-five years of age at the VA Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island. I had a small breakdown trying to keep the family together and becoming mentally exhausted trying to figure out how, I alone, could get him to stop his drinking. 

Lori refused from the age of 37 until her death at 39 at the Charlton Memorial Hospital in Fall River, Massachusetts to allow her sister and I into her meetings with a counselor to help her. A heavy load for me to carry. 

Death of a loved one is not something you tell someone to get over. The pain will always be there seeing a certain friend of theirs, a location you went to together or the raw moments with holidays looking at that empty seat. 

My peace comes from God. Why? Because He made us from love and wants us to be happy. God doesn’t hate, never wants us to suffer. He looks down at us with our hearts torn out from a loss and tries to comfort. 

This is not easy for me to say; it tears me apart to even write this statement. Richie and Lori had choices. They alone had to want to give that life up. I will die believing that all alcoholics, drug users, and prescription users, have deep rooted problems that happened to them and the incident was too painful to not only handle, but were too embarrassed to talk about the hurt with family or counselors. 

For now, I pray they are both at peace, buried together, at the St. Patrick Cemetery in Somerset, Massachusetts. There will always be that empty gap in my heart.

Alberta Sequeira

Purchase Alberta’s books at http://www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira

The Demons

Written after losing my husband and daughter from Alcohol Abuse


THE DEMONS 
Life was full of hope as my husband and I said our marriage vows. 
We didn’t realize that our years would soon come for us to part. 
You answered our prayers, Lord, and gave us two loving daughters, 
Four years separated, but close in heart. 

Our children grew up and made us proud of your creation. 
As time passed, the demons fell upon our family formation. 
The once happy, stay at home dad lost his way 
He walked from his family and kept us at bay. 

The bottle was his friend that broke our unity, 
No love or begging brought him back to reality. 
My loving husband became a stranger, 
As I watched the terrible disease put his life in danger. 

There were bitter years when he walked out of our lives 
And he struggled to survive but lost his fight. 
The demons had reached for this loving man 
And they made him blind to the telltale signs. 

I gave him back to you God with tears and heartbreak, 
Knowing that I had lost him from the very start 
I struggled through the years with a painful, empty heart 
And I kept my daughters close so that we’d never part. 

Life is unfair for the demons returned. 
They were not happy with just my man. 
They grabbed my daughter and tore her in two 
Separation from her children and family was something new. 
She thought the bottle became her friend, 
The same thinking her father had way back then. 

Family and friends pleaded with prayer 
For her to see that the demons were there. 
She entered three rehabs with hope and belief, 
Thinking with each visit she’d be back on her feet. 

The demons weakened her confidence and made her think 
That there was no real harm in just another drink. 
The years of counseling were pushed aside, 
And her dreams were washed away like a receding tide. 

There were too many shared moments with friends to drink 
And her traveling had her back on the road only to sink. 
I gave her back to you God with tears and heartbreak, 
Knowing I had lost her from the very start. 

I pray Lord that she is at peace with her dad 
And I can go on sleeping and stop being so sad. 

Crush these demons and put them in hell, 
So the alcoholics are released, free to get well. 
Open their eyes to God’s presence and Our Lady’s 
So they won’t feel alone when their strength is fading. 

This is a story of Lori's struggle after three alcoholic rehabs to give her alcohol addiction up.  Please, God, Not Two is the sequel to Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round: An Alcoholic Family in Crisis.

Purchase at www.amazon.com/author/albetasequeira

 

 

 

Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round Excerpt

 

 

 

Frustration Creeps Back

The following Wednesday afternoon, Richie kissed me goodbye and left to deliver a television set. “I’ll see you about five.” 

Five o’clock came and went and he still wasn’t home. I set the table and waited, but when it got to be seven o’clock, I realized that he wasn’t out working. The same old familiar, nauseating, gnawing gut feeling came over me.  

Oh God, don’t’ let him be drinking. It’s been so good. 

I was upset that he was so inconsiderate knowing that I would be worried. By 8:00 p.m., I put both girls to bed. 

Debbie started with questions, “Can I wait up for Daddy—I want to stay up longer—I don’t want to go to bed.” 

“Daddy’s working late tonight. You’ll see him in the morning.”

It was exhausting, lying as I defended him. She was just a child, and I didn’t want to involve her in parents’ problems. I tucked her into bed and walked into the living room. I felt so alone. We were living a happy life when he stopped his drinking for a few months.  I had stopped looking at the clock every half hour, and I wasn’t worried about him walking through the door drunk.  

I went to the phone and called Cindy. “Hi, Alberta, what’s up?”

“I’m in a state of panic. Richie hasn’t come home. Cindy, I hope he’s not starting to drink again. The later it gets, I fear that he is. I can’t imagine where he’d go.”

“Right now you can’t change the situation so try to stay calm.”

“That’s easier said than done.”     

“I know. I’m living the same way, remember?”

“Why are we going through this?’

“There’s no answer except that our husbands aren’t taking their marriage seriously. They’re too wrapped up in themselves.”

We talked about a half hour, and I wondered what I’d do without her? Both our lives were upside down one minute and then calm for weeks. We were always on a roller coaster ride because of our husband's drinking pattern. 

“Call me tomorrow.”

“I’ll let you know what happens.”
__________________________________________________________
Truth in every page
By meme

I couldn't put this book down. I have been unable to read a complete book for the last 8 years and this one I couldn't put down. Not only is it an easy read but anyone who has been in an alcoholic marriage will find comfort in this. This is not a self help book, but it gives you the realization that someone else has felt exactly what you felt and you were not crazy.
___________________________________________________________

By Midwest Book Review

Alcoholism is not only destructive for the alcoholic, but his family as well. "Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round" tells the story of Alberta H. Sequeira, and how she slowly lost her husband to alcohol. Reflecting on her own views, what happens to her family, and how one man's self-destruction proved to be more than only self, Sequeira has a life that many will sadly relate to, and will find comfort in. For those looking for strength from their own alcohol-driven problems, "Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round" is a top pick.
___________________________________________________________
Purchase at http://www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira

 

Traits of the Addicted

 

Greg Osayande   Greg Osayande

California New Life Detox & Recovery Homes/http://www.canewliferecovery.com/

email: [email protected]

Mr. Osayande is a guest writer for my blog who has offered his opinion on addiction being a treatment coordinator at a drug detox clinic in California.

 

I have worked with many individuals suffering from addiction over the years. Treating a drug addiction is tough and many times patients will relapse. A large number of individuals who join our programs quit after the first few weeks. However, there are those who are able to succeed and live drug-free for the remainder of their lives. How do they do it when statistics show relapse rates are so high? Over the years, I have picked up on some traits exhibited by those who are able to successfully overcome their addictions.

Many people who get addicted to drugs do so because they need to find some level of escape from their daily lives. Unfortunately, before they know it, they have allowed themselves to spiral out of control and end up in worse situations than before. Individuals who undergo detox need to understand that many times there are underlying issues for substance abuse. Those who understand this and take active steps to resolve not only their addiction, but what led to the addiction in the first place are much more likely to stay clean. I believe this is one of the reasons why so many people are back on drugs only weeks after a successful detox. They never tackled the real reason they got hooked in the first place.

Many addicts will have underlying mental disorders as well. These many times will require more than just self-help or therapy sessions. Addicts who are identified as having mental disorders can then also have those issues addressed.
Detox is usually the first step in treating addiction, but by itself cannot treat long-term substance abuse. In order to remain sober for a lifetime, addicts must be ready to face their demons.

Successful treatment of addiction can take a long time. It is a hard, long-fought process. You can’t have a cheat day. The moment you allow your barriers to fall, you are back at step 1. This is why it’s so difficult for people to keep motivated throughout the process. There are many different strategies to help patients stay motivated, like bringing in family members into sessions throughout the treatment. Overall, if each individual cannot keep their spirits high and stay motivated, then they suffer the risk of falling back on bad habits.

A lot of addicts have a big problem with lying. Drugs can do scary things to people, and addiction can alter the way a person thinks and behaves. Many times, addicts will blame everyone but themselves for their current situation. I have noticed that people who overcome addiction have a strong sense of personal responsibility. They don’t lie to others or themselves. They understand that they can’t “stop anything they want to” and that things are not under their control anymore. Being able to recognize your own bad traits removes a big barrier for treatment. If a person refuses to help themselves, then it becomes very difficult to treat them.

A lot of times, addicts will have destroyed the relationships with their loves ones through such lying and manipulation. Taking responsibility and owning up to their mistakes becomes an integral part in rebuilding their damaged relationships. While many addicts will expect empathy from others for what they are going through, they must be willing to reciprocate those feelings to those they have hurt. Keeping a good relationship with your family leads me to my next point.

Addicts who were able to overcome their substance abuse problems had overwhelming support from their families. There are entire programs structured around family-involvement. These programs are particularly effective for adolescents. Family members can be there to help keep the recovering addict motivated and happy. When you are at your lowest, knowing you can lean on family is very reassuring. A drug treatment program can last a lifetime. In order to lower the chances of relapse, family should be ready and willing to help guide and support their loved ones months or even years after they step out of the treatment facility.

Treatment for drug addiction is not a fun experience for most people. However, patience is essential for successful treatment. Many times, people will leave prematurely and find themselves back on drugs within days. Those who overcome their addictions are able to realize very early on how critical it is to stay in the program for the full recommended length of time. Taking too much time off from work can be difficult for people. However, leaving a program early will just increase your odds that you will have to come back again in the future. Many individuals will need at least a few months in order to stop drug use. Even then, it is recommended that they develop a strict plan for the coming months in order to reduce their chances of relapse.

Many of the individuals I have seen over the years come to treatment centers alone and afraid. Those who chose to remain isolated do little for their treatment. Individuals willing to engage in self-help groups or sit down with therapists or counselors are much happier during their treatment. These individuals can find support from a variety of sources like family members and peers, not just other addicts and therapists. They are willing to help others and be helped, and this goes a long way towards their treatment.

Addiction treatment continues to be one of the most heartbreaking activities undertaken by medical professionals. It requires caring and diligence not only on the part of the individual providing treatment, but also by the addicts themselves. Those who are able to keep motivated and exhibit a true drive towards treating themselves are likely to succeed. Those with caring and supportive friends and family do even better. Hopefully my observations have provided some insights into how difficult it is to treat addiction, and just how much effort the addicts themselves must put forward to recover.

___________________________________________________________

Purchase Alberta’s books at www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira

Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round: An Alcoholic Family in Crisis

Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round  by Alberta Sequeira

INTRODUCTION

Alcoholism is a disease that affects millions of people along with heart problems, diabetes, cancer, and drug addiction. We hear and read about different diseases that kill people every day and how they leave broken-hearted families behind.
          Who is considered an alcoholic and what are they like in behavior? We all have our own personal conception about what a person has to do in order to be considered an alcoholic. Usually, they’re labeled as habitual drunks. 
          Most of us picture an alcoholic as a person, curled-up and passed out among the over-turned garbage cans and found on a hidden side-street between buildings or someone under a torn, grimy blanket sleeping on a park bench with a newspaper over their face and wearing ragged, filthy clothes looking as though they needed a hot, sudsy shower. In fact, a large percentage of the public automatically assumes it’s a man in this condition having the problem. Today, we realize that a woman could be the alcoholic in these situations. As the years pass, there is no special gender. 
          Our intellects come to the understanding and conclusion that the drinker has absolutely no desire to find a job or no wish to mingle with and contribute to society. We insist that many of them are living off the welfare system with no intention of bettering themselves. When we come in contact with the drinker, many of us lose patience with them or omit them completely in our conversations and social circles. 
          It’s more comfortable for us to pretend that they don’t exist. In other words, they’re not getting their act together to think and do things the way we believe they should.
Because our own lives are structured and orderly, we believe that we’re better than the alcoholic. We forget how blessed our families are to have jobs that pay well, three good meals a day on the table, independent lives, and the freedom to come and go as we like. This concept is what most people consider to be a healthy American life under normal living conditions. 
          The reality of an alcoholic’s life won’t hit us until we come in direct contact with a family member, friend, or a close acquaintance who’s struggling to combat this disease. Then we develop the need to understand fully and to gain the knowledge of what alcohol is doing to the alcoholic and the people around them. 
          Once the abuser’s actions start to affect our lives, we suddenly sit-up and open our eyes to what’s happening to the individual. The desire to help them is there because we love the person and can see that the disease has changed his or her personality, morals, and ambitions. The devastating fact hits us that alcohol is slowly killing our loved one.
The alcoholics themselves can become acutely aware that they are drowning in drink and still don’t feel the need or have the willpower to get help. For them, the battle to give up liquor has too many side effects, and it’s too hard to combat the habit, especially if this life-style has been going on for years. 
          It’s a struggle every day for an alcoholic to just get out of bed. Many spend their days sleeping. They skip meals because their appetite has disappeared, thereby causing more damage to their health because their bodies breakdown from lack of proper nutrition to keep them stable. 
          Many alcoholics who have tried to fight the disease don’t relish the unpleasant physical effects of going without a drink; instead, they give in and turn back to drinking. In their mind, taking a drink is the only way to stop the effects of withdrawal. They fear going to any public place, and the drinking imprisons them in their own home behind closed doors. 
          Their lives and minds are constantly in a confused state. Alcoholics live in uncertainty that immobilizes them. They find it hard to do anything for themselves or their families. All confidence disappears. They make up all kinds of stories in order to avoid doing anything that makes them uncomfortable. 
          Doctors’ appointments are cancelled because they fear what they may be told. Family events are ignored so they don’t have to hear about their behavior or their broken promises. They live in denial that they have any problem at all and believe they can stop drinking at any time. 
          Getting sober for an alcoholic means they’ll have to take the giant step of signing themselves into a detoxification center. There, they’ll experience what they feared: the shakes, being confined, and taking medicine that will make them feel worse before they get better. They’re subjected to answering personal, embarrassing questions and being cooped-up in a single room with strangers, whom they consider to be sicker than they are. 
          After weeks or months of drying out, they’re pushed into the outside world again to face the same problems that brought them there. Depending on circumstances, they’ll have to confront the people that they hurt, deal with job hunting, and return to having the responsibility of making family decisions. Some become paranoid, thinking that everyone is judging them and watching their every move to see if they slip. Some probably are being watched because the whole family becomes sick and confused from the disease.
          If they don’t continue to seek professional counseling after being rehabilitated, join an AA group, or find a sponsor, most alcoholics go right back to the bottle, which is always there to comfort them with no condemnation.
          Going back to drinking, or falling off the wagon as the expression goes, doesn’t mean that they want to—it means they’re sick. Alcoholism is a disease that is highly hereditary. It would be so much easier if drinking could be cured by simply taking a pill. The first step to recovery for the alcoholic is for him or her to want the help. No one can help them if they don’t want recovery. 
          Alcoholics have the same wants and dreams as the rest of us. There was a time when they held a job, had a marriage, brought up children, owned a home and a car, and had a social life with their friends and families. Now, they have become frightened human beings who have lost their dignity. 
          Alcoholism doesn’t happen overnight. The reality of their lives being out-of-control came when catastrophes started to happen all around them. Some drinkers are fortunate to be able to keep their lives fairly normal, but others don’t realize it’s a problem until they lose everything. 
         Society needs to stop looking at the millions of alcoholics as bums or low-class individuals who don’t want to better themselves. They have a disease that can reach the point of no return. 
          If a person has been drinking for years and wants to stop, the body may have reached the point where it needs the drink. The body craves it; then there’s no stopping. 
         Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round is based on the true story of my life living with and losing a husband to alcoholism. Slowly, our happy lives as a secure family started to fall to pieces at different stages. It seems completely incomprehensible to me now that I couldn’t see the signs of serious drinking from this uncontrollable disease. 

__________________________________________________________

Truth in every page
By meme

I couldn't put this book down. I have been unable to read a complete book for the last 8 years and this one I couldn't put down. Not only is it an easy read but anyone who has been in an alcoholic marriage will find comfort in this. This is not a self help book, but it gives you the realization that someone else has felt exactly what you felt and you were not crazy.

___________________________________________________________


By Midwest Book Review

Alcoholism is not only destructive for the alcoholic, but his family as well. "Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round" tells the story of Alberta H. Sequeira, and how she slowly lost her husband to alcohol. Reflecting on her own views, what happens to her family, and how one man's self-destruction proved to be more than only self, Sequeira has a life that many will sadly relate to, and will find comfort in. For those looking for strength from their own alcohol-driven problems, "Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round" is a top pick.

___________________________________________________________

Purchase at www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira

Pages