Zimmerman to sue Skittles

Poor George Zimmerman

First, he gets charged with murder for killing Trayvon Martin who, in a sucrose filled rage, attacked him with a box of Skittles and a cell phone. He had to go through months of agony, being unfairly accused of a capital felony just for exercising his sacred Second Amendment right to shoot anyone he thought was threatening him.

Sure, he was acquitted under Florida law, but still the emotional scars remain –not for killing Trayvon Martin of course, because who really cares about a skinny, hoodie-wearing black kid, but for having all those gun-hating liberal faggots calling him names and making unfair accusations against him. They even dared to question his judgment and good faith when he used his free hand to get his gun instead of punching back at Martin. What nerve!  They obviously never had to pursue an unarmed black teenager through their neighborhood at night, armed only with a gun and a cell-phone. 

So, of course, that’s why he threatened to shoot his estranged wife last month, posting a bullet riddled target on her parents' home. That’s why he directly threatened his girlfriend this past week by pointing a shotgun at her. Zimmerman is not, and I emphasize not, an out-of-control trigger happy macho paranoid who needs a gun in his hand to feel like a man.  Of course not. And he clearly did not stalk and shoot Trayvon Martin in some kind of paranoid, delusional, law and order power trip.  How could anyone even think such a thing?

Nor is Martin a racist as some have claimed. He is just a poor, misunderstood average American guy who loves guns and was trying to do the right thing when he shot and killed the obviously dangerous, Skittle wielding Trayvon Martin.

So, now, Zimmerman's critics have it backwards, suggesting that the two recent incidents prove that he pulled his gun on the sugar addled Trayvon Martin before Martin came at him with the box of Skittles and the cell phone.. How could anyone believe such nonsense? It was the emotional trauma of being so unfairly accused for simply exercising his absolute Second Amendment right to shoot and kill Trayvon Martin that drove Zimmerman to threaten his wife and girlfriend with shooting them.  What could be more obvious?

Now, Zimmerman will have to go through another felony trial because of the charges being made by his girlfriend. That was the clearly foreseeable result of Zimmerman being under such extreme, unbearable stress from the baseless charges that he murdered Trayvon Martin. That, in turn, was the clearly foreseeable result of Martin being able to buy Skittles in Zimmerman’s neighborhood. There is a clear chain of causation here, and the emotional distress will only get worse because of the new felony charges..

So, in addition to raising emotional distress as a defense to the pending felony charges, Zimmerman should ask his lawyers to file suit against the Skittles company and the neighborhood convenience store that sold the Skittles to Trayvon Martin. It was that gross negligence that caused Trayvon Martin’s Skittle fueled rage in the first place.

This surely makes perfect sense under Florida law –at least as much if not more than the Stand Your Ground law that his lawyers used to get him out of the murder rap. So I’m sure those same lawyers would not hesitate take the case against Skittles on a contingent fee basis, with all expenses again paid by the N.R.A. of course, because it would be a slam dunk Plaintiff’s verdict with any Florida judge and jury.  The Trayvon Martin not-guilty verdict proves that beyond any shadow of doubt.


 



 

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