Being the central gathering place of the house - for grazing and for thirst quenching - the refrigerator has emerged as the key domestic location where important notes (usually held via some sort of a magnet) are left by one family member to another family member. These scribbled notes tell of personal news items, of phone calls received, of visitors who might have stopped by while you were out, or else simply provide a message, such as, "Finished homework - gone to the mall with my friends - be back by dinnertime."
It makes me wonder ... what type of refrigerator note would have been left for some of the great historical figures down through the ages? Hmmm....
My dearest Caesar,
Brutus stopped by to borrow your whetstone. He said he'd meet up with you later. Don't forget, you promised to take me to the Ides of March dance tonight. I ironed your new toga. See you later, my handsome emperor!
Some Roman soldiers and High Priests stopped by to talk with you. They said something about wanting to find a friend of yours named Jesus or Jimmie or Jesse ... I didn't quite catch the name. Anyway, they left you a sack of gold coins. I put it on your bed, under your pillow. I'm off to bingo. There are leftovers in the refrigerator. Don't stay up late. Kiss, kiss.
The furniture movers delivered the pieces you ordered for the formal dining hall. The chairs were fine, but the table was all wrong. I'm sure you ordered a long, rectangular table, but they delivered the most hideous round table! And the colour! I told them to take it back straight away and to bring back a proper table. Imagine, a round table! What would your knights think!
When you get home from school we need to have a little talk. It seems that somebody chopped down the cherry tree. Now son, I'm not blaming you, but lately I have seen you playing with your father's axe. I know you would never tell a lie, so if you could just check off the appropriate box below that would be good enough for me.
[ ] Yes Mom, I did chop down the cherry tree
[ ] No Mom, I did not chop down the cherry tree
Darling, when you trim your beard, could you please clean the hair out of the sink! I don't know how many times I have to tell you this! Oh, before I forget ... a courier delivered a message - apparently Grant took Richmond (or something like that ...the courier said you'd know what it means). Again, please don't forget to clean up the sink.
Your loving wife, Mary
I've finished your speech. I added a little line that reads, "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself." I know it sounds a bit corny, but I think it will play well to regular folks. Also, I had this idea that you could give a weekly speech to the people ... maybe by the fireside ... just a little chat ... I imagine we could call them "fireside chats," that might work. Anyway, I'm off to round up support for my WPA idea. Wish me luck.
Some plumber called. He said something about a leak that needed to be covered up. I told him all our pipes are fine and the toilets are in working order. Any clue what he was talking about?
Well ... I saw the most amazing movie today. It was called "Star Wars" and it was about a group of freedom fighters battling it out in space against an evil empire of communists led by a bad guy named Darth Vader. It gave me the idea that we should put laser weapons out in space so we can shoot down Soviet missiles. Heck, if nothing else, the cost of keeping up with our technology will bankrupt the USSR! Honey, I think we may have just won the Cold War!
PS: We're out of jellybeans.
Let me see if I've got this straight. Are you saying that I can't run for a third term? When was that rule put in place? Heck, I've only destroyed one country of the Axis of Evil. There are two more left to go - Iran and North Korea ... and North Korea's gonna require the nukes. That's not gonna be pretty. I don't see how I can do it all in two years. Especially now that Congress is against me!
Congrats again on your big win! I told you choosing me as your running mate was a wise move. Boy, I'm VP and First Man ... I don't think that's ever happened before. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm the first. Now, tell me again. Who gets the Oval Office? Me or you?
Your hubby, Bill