Missing: Blogger. In mid-40's. Dark brown hair with gray highlights. Currently wearing moustache and goatee (also dark brown with gray). Height 5'10". Weight 185 lbs. Has several distinguishing marks, including a scar near the right eye ... or is that the left eye? ... a scar on the left leg, a small scar on the right arm, a tattoo of the number 667 on his scalp beneath his hair (666 was already taken), a sixth toe on his right foot, and webbing between the thumb and forefinger of his left hand. Answers to "Jack," "Jacko," "Jackson," "Jack Sprat," "JTS," "Off the Shelf," and "Hey You!" At one time was writing two to three blog entries a week, but as of late has been hardly able to muster one a week (and the last one was a lame attempt at being clever entitled 4'33" - a so-called tribute to avant-garde composer John Cage's similarly-named ode to silence. Yeah, right!!). Has written blogs on life, the universe, the creation of the universe, politics, the creation of politics, God, the creation of God, and the Devil - which seems to have become a favorite theme of late.
In October and November he wrote a number of blogs about his (unsuccessful) gubernatorial aspirations as a member of the Whig Party. Has a deep interest in the (dwarf) planet Pluto, and a strange and unshared interest in the Ring Cycle operas by German composer Richard Wagner (pronounced Reekard Vagner). Fancies himself 60% 1970's hippie, 20% 1960's beatnik, 10% starving artist, 5% Irish-Italian Catholic, and 5% undecided. Appreciates all kinds of music, including classical, jazz, rock, pop, and Gregorian chant.
Can type 40 words per minute, but uses only two fingers, so he figures that at ten fingers he would be typing at 200 words per minute, which would make him the fastest typist on the planet. Drives a 1991 Chevy Lumina, gray and rust in color with streaks of primer here and there. He is often found deep in thought, which leads some to believe he is contemplating the inner workings of the universe, when in actuality he is just trying to remember where he left his eyeglasses. Thinks his Boston Terrier Lucy is really human and often takes her with him to the local pub for a couple of pints of Guinness (although Lucy prefers Harp). If found, please direct this missing blogger to the nearest computer terminal or laptop and direct him to start writing again. Do not feed him or give him anything to drink, this will only serve to further distract him. Thank you for your assistance. Oh, and if you would be so kind as to take Lucy out for a walk ... and don't forget her pipe and tobacco.