$2.95 per Gallon Gasoline

Yes, that's right - $2.95. And I have it! A whole gallon of it! In my garage. In a little red container next to my lawnmower.

Actually, I had two containers worth of the $2.95 stuff -- purchased last fall -- but recently exhausted the contents of one mowing my lawn this spring. (Not too smart, huh?) So now I'm down to just the one container left. One container of sub-three-dollar petrol! Perhaps the last of its kind on the planet ... well, at least in South Dennis.

The thing is, I don't want to use it up. It's become sort of my form of liquid protest against the OPEC nations (oh, by the way, in case you're wondering, OPEC stands for "Our Potential Enemy Countries").

So there it will sit, in my garage, maintaining its $2.95 price, while the price at the gas pump climbs steadily toward $5.00 a gallon ... and beyond! Who knows, maybe one day my little gallon of gasoline will wind up in the Smithsonian, right next to a moon rock or an 8-track car stereo from a '72 Nova. People will gaze at it in awe as it sits in its Plexiglas display case. I can just imagine the scene:


Young Boy: "Hey Dad, what's this?"

Dad: "That, my son, is the famous gallon of $2.95 gas."

Young Boy: "Wow, we learned about this in school! Gee, I always thought it would be bigger."

Dad: "I know, son. But that little gallon of gasoline might get you 20 to 25 miles driving in the city; perhaps 30 to 35 miles on the highway ... that is, if you drove the speed limit, and maintained the suggested tire pressure, and changed the oil regularly, and  didn't run the air conditioner."

Young Boy: "Now our nuclear cars can go 25,000 miles on a single fused atom, right Dad?"

Dad: "That's right, son. You see, today we live in a new world devoid of the fear that our resources will one day dry up. We no longer wage war over oil. And I'll never have to worry about my boy being sent away to fight in some distant, God forsaken, Mid East desert. (He pats his son on top of his head.) Well, son ... how about we grab some lunch. I understand they serve a great kelp sandwich in the cafeteria."

Young Boy: "Kelp! Yum!!"

Jack Sheedy

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