She speaks for you.

My daily schedule begins with perusing the internet reading various news web sites, not only to see what happened the previous day, but to read what people have to say about events.

I check the comments after my blog, and forward the link to the blog to people and publications all over the globe.

My day goes on; I draw some pictures; and then go out into the world and interact with people.

Later, when I get home I check not only the comments to see who has said what about the blog or the other people making comments; check to see what names I am being called, or what insults have been directed toward me that are supposed to hurt me; marvel that after 21/2 years people still think they can demand an answer from me, or engage me in a useless troll-filled discussion; laugh at the futility of those who somehow think they can tell me what to cover in the blog, and who think that is going to happen in spite of reality; and then correspond with friends who have read the forwarded blog, and discuss the topic in a rational way, often sharing why comment threads are so entertaining, especially as people feel they have credibility while they hide behind pseudonyms.

Once in a while, when surfing the net for stories that interest me, I find one that is so close to what those who hide behind false names might write as a comment, I just can’t pass it up.

That would explain the occasional Palin, Cruz, or Ryan blog.

Recently Ann Coulter wrote a column explaining why the World Cup, and soccer in general, is responsible for the moral decline of the United States, and it sounded a lot like the comments I read after the blog daily, so I thought I would just pass them on.

She declared that “Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay”.

Being a team sport, she found fault that “Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer … There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child’s fragile self-esteem is bruised".

I guess maimed heroes and bruised children mean 'Murca to her.

Soccer ruins the division between girls and boys, and blurs gender assigned roles because “Liberal moms like soccer because it’s a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys".

And we all know that girls do not have athletic talent, and could never compete with boys.

The evils of team play mean that if both sides play well, neither might score by the end of the playing time, and “No other ‘sport’ ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer".

Not being sure what sports are about, and apparently feeling that a hockey game can’t be a true hockey game without a fight, a NASCAR race cannot be legit without a crash, and that air shows are failures if a plane doesn’t crash, she believes that “The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport” and soccer doesn’t have it.

The fact that “You can’t use your hands in soccer” lowers the dignity of man as we have opposable thumbs which set us apart from animals, but the rules of the game do not let players use them.

She must hate the Irish Step Dancers on St. Patrick's Day.

And it’s most un-American feature, but don’t tell this to the native Americans who were seen playing an early form of soccer by the settlers of Jamestown, is that ”It’s foreign".

“If more ‘Americans’ are watching soccer today, it’s only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy’s 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time".

Here are some other gems of the GOP mouthpiece:

"In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls — all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they're standing alone at the plate. But there's also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks.
In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child's fragile self-esteem is bruised. There's a reason perpetually alarmed women are called "soccer moms," not "football moms."

And here I thought that soccer moms just were involved in a lot of car pools, delivering groups of kids to after school and weekend activities, or farting along Route 28 in SUVs.

"Everyone just runs up and down the field and, every once in a while, a ball accidentally goes in. That's when we're supposed to go wild".

Sort of like Hockey, but without the skates.

"The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport. Most sports are sublimated warfare. As Lady Thatcher reportedly said after Germany had beaten England in some major soccer game: Don't worry. After all, twice in this century we beat them at their national game".

"Baseball and basketball present a constant threat of personal disgrace. In hockey, there are three or four fights a game — and it's not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour. After a football game, ambulances carry off the wounded".

"I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is "catching on" is exceeded only by the ones pretending women's basketball is fascinating".

"Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European. Naturally, the metric system emerged from the French Revolution, during the brief intervals when they weren't committing mass murder by guillotine.

(Actually the metric system was the work of Simon Stevin (1548 – 1620) who was a Flemish mathematician and military engineer, and was not introduced into France until after the French Revolution).

Despite being subjected to Chinese-style brainwashing in the public schools to use centimeters and Celsius, ask any American for the temperature, and he'll say something like "70 degrees." Ask how far Boston is from New York City, he'll say it's about 200 miles.

(By the way, that puts us on par with Liberia and Myanmar the other two non-metric countries).

Liberals get angry and tell us that the metric system is more "rational" than the measurements everyone understands (everyone in the U.S., Liberia, and Myanmar that is)

This is ridiculous. An inch is the width of a man's thumb, a foot the length of his foot, a yard the length of his belt. That's easy to visualize. How do you visualize 147.2 centimeters?"

Now considering that the Right allows her to be one of their spokespeople, is it any wonder that the people on the Left see a problem with the Right's view points?

Yep, sounds as realistic and as mentally balanced as the comment section on any given day.

You go Ann.

The commenters can take the day off. She's got you covered.


 

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