Journey's blog

A Reminder of Death with Addiction

 

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Last weekend, my heart was broken all over again. My precious daughter, Lori Cahill, died in 2006 at 39 years of age from her alcohol and drug addiction. Those who have lost know the pain. She is put to rest with her father, who also died in 1985 at 45 years of age from addiction.

I have moments of guilt where time goes by and I have buried the loss deep in the depth of my soul and hide it. I try not to relive it. UNTIL, an event brings that RAW moment to the surface. 

I received a call that Lori’s dearest friend, Wendy, lost her life. She had been in and out of substance abuse rehabilitations since Lori’s death. She had been struggle to over-come the hold. For awhile, she lived in an apartment. 

I remember as if it was yesterday, Lori’s funeral and Wendy was hidden in the last pew of church with tears flowing down her cheeks watching us roll Lori’s casket out of the church. I stopped and hugged her and gave her a kiss saying,”Live for Lori.” How often Wendy called me Mom.

In the picture, Lori, is on the far left at fifteen, a friend in the middle, and Wendy on the far right. All three were inseparable. It was the night of their high school prom. 

This news threw me into a state as if I had just lost Lori all over again. I swear I cried non-stop for two days each time I thought about Lori’s friend. Maybe it was a closeness to Lori that I felt was now gone. 

People have asked me numerous times after writing Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round; An Alcholic Family in Crisis about losing Richie, my husband, and Please, God, Not Two; This Killer Called Alcholism about the lose of Lori, if it healed me.

No, nothing heals the loss of anyone, young or old, or from what. There is a gap that is never filled again. I see Lori’s son, who married a year ago and her daughter, who had a baby last October of 2017. How proud she would have been and excited over a grandson. 

I’m writing this for all the families and friends who have lost a dear one from this horrible worldwide disease to let you know that I feel your pain and loss. 

This picture brings me back to yesteryears wishing to God I could have changed things. So many of those wonderful friends of Lori’s who came to our house like a meeting place have died or are still suffering from addiction. They were so young thinking drinking was fun. 

I had to share this. Tell me your story. I’d love to hear it. If you give me permission, I’ll place it here on the site so others will see how we hurt. Maybe, just maybe, someone struggling with alcohol or drug abuse will fight to live. 

Thank you,
Alberta Sequeira
[email protected]

Event for Writers and Authors Today, Monday the 8th


Authors Without Borders will be at the Old Colony YMCA at 360 Main Street in Brockton.  We'll have our books, info on our group (www.awb6.com), handbooks on how to write, getting published, writing memoirs, Writing your own book in Createspace.  I will have my books on substance abuse, other fantasy, poetry and short stories. We'd love to see you.

We will be there today, Monday the 8th from 10am-3pm.  

Alberta Sequeira

 

 

 

 

Another Associate Member with a Book Award

Kid Mobster

Michael Decicco 

Michael J. DeCicco is an Associate Member or our group Authors Without Borders (www.awb6.comand www.authorswihoutborders.wordpress.com) and we are proud to announce his new Amazon and Kindle release of his young adult novel The Kid Mobster which is the recent winner of “Shelf Unbound BestBook Runner-Up Award.”

The Kid Mobster is an action-filled, insightful, coming of age of a high school senior and dreamer who loses the part-time job he had needed to earn his money for college and goes to work for a mob-connected scam artist, Mederick Anders…before realizing the corrupt world he has joined. 

Find it now on www.authorsden.com/michaeldeciddo or amazon.com/books

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For All Writers

MEET & GREET EVENT

FOR ALL WRITERS

"Free" Event at Braintree’s Thayer Library

 

    Don’t know how to start your writing project?  Have you already started but it’s not working out the way you want?  Have you finished a final draft but can’t find an agent or publisher?  Or wondering how to market your published work? Would you like advice and support from experienced writers?  Or simply chat with others who share your interests, frustrations, obstacles, and successes?

Time and Place:  Saturday, September 29th,  from 11 am to 2 pm, Authors Without Borders is partnering with the Thayer Public Library to hold a free, public Meet & Greet— for writers who are published, unpublished, aspiring, or just interested in learning more.  The library is located at 798 Washington St., Braintree, MA 02184.

    Authors Without Borders began in 2007 as a regional consortium of four authors who came together to market their books and assist other writers in the difficulties of writing and navigating the rocky road to publication and beyond. 

    Founding members include published authors Pat Perry of Fairhaven, MA (fantasy), Willie Pleasants of Dorchester (poetry and short stories), Alberta Sequeira of North Dartmouth, MA (memoirs and Narrative Non-Fiction), Joyce Keller Walsh of Lakeville, MA (mysteries and plays).

    AWB does workshops, presentations, produce and hosts the NBTV-95 Cable T.V. show in New Bedford titled, “Authors Without Borders Presents.”  The group interviews writers, artist, and publishers.  AWB also has an Associate Members program which includes writers with a diversity of interests. 

    See our website  (www.awb6.com) for additional information on members, services, and events. Check our other website at www.authorswithoutborders.wordpress.com. You can contact us at [email protected].

The Thayer Library is providing free refreshments for this meeting. To register (so the Library can estimate the number of refreshments needed), please contact Laurie Cavanaugh, Circulation Librarian at (781) 848-0405. The library’s website is www.thayerpubliclibrary.org.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Searching for an Agent or Publisher

The Rusty Years Title
(cover may be different if picked up by a publisher)

Finally, after a good year, my first fictional series of The Rusty Years: A Remembrance of Being Young is completed. I sent my first query letter out to an agent of choice. Hopefully, the topic will be what interest her. She was looking for historical fiction, and especially, work featuring female characters, about families and friends, with unique narrative voices, I hope my story will interest her. 

The Rusty Years follows three friends, Jenny Rossini, Rita Costa, and Kathleen Perry, as they come of age and begin to find their way in the world during the Great Depression in the 1930’s. Tragedy haunts the girls as they navigate complicated family dynamics, the workplace, romance, the mob, and a rapidly changing world.

I’d like to get this into a sequel. If it takes a third book, I will make it a series.  I’m confident the ending will have my readers shocked.  After three memoirs, Narrative Non-Fiction, and three handbooks from my writer’s workshops, I want my followers to see a lighter side of me.

I will keep you posted if a get a nibble with the query.  If no interest comes, my next action will be to self-publish again but I feel so different from this story. 

So my followers, and past readers hang in for an interesting, different and enjoyable saga about to unfold. 

Alberta Sequeira

Believing when we lose a loved one

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This is not a book just for women. It’s about my not taking advantage of getting to know my father, Albert L. Gramm, before he died in 1990. He was a retired Brigadier General in the Army and served in the 26th Yankee Division becoming one of their commanding offices during WWII, fighting in some famous battles like; Metz, Lorraine and The Battle of the Bulge. Yes, so many of us let our parent’s lives go with them when they leave this world. We forget they were young at one time.

I watched my father die slowly from cancer at eighty years old as he laid in his bed each day. I unexpectedly called in work on a Monday morning stating I was taking two weeks off to spend my last moments with him. Since I handled the largest account of the company, my manager was upset with no replacement that day. At the time, my need to be with Dad was stronger than leaving him. If they let me go, I felt secure that another job could be found.

He lived with my mother, Sophie Gramm, my brother, Joseph and his wife, Marge in South Dennis, Massachusetts, located down the Cape Cod area. They both lived for years in East Falmouth, Massachusetts. The morning of his death, Cathy Valeriani, Vice President of the Ashumet Valley Property Owners, Inc. came to tell him, they were naming the main entrance parcel of Ashumet Vally to be known as the AL GRAMM PARK. The location is at the corner of Route 151 on Nathan Ellis Highway and Fordham Road in East Falmouth. You can’t miss the tall American flag flying at the large stone. Cathy arrived around 10am and Dad passed at 5am that morning. He never heard the news.

Lucky I did not go to work Monday, because the following Friday, when I would have been returning, my father passed. I would have been at work. Instead, I stayed with him before being taken to the funeral home. 

I had many blessing before his left us. He gave me a special gift opening his eyes the last time while I faced him in the rocker staring at him. His warm, lovable smile went through my heart like a flame and has stayed burnt in it since he left. Thinking back to him showing me his love with that grin, still melts my heart. It brings a smile to my face. 

I watched him holding his rosaries every day and night trying to concentrate as he said them. My sister, Leona, asked if he wanted us to say them for him. I never in my life learned the rosary. We are all given them at our First Holy Communion. How many know how to say them? Here I was at 42 years old not knowing this beautiful prayer. I said them along with my sister and two sister-in-laws. I learned that this prayer was about the lives of Jesus and his loving mother, Mary. 

Leona gave me his beads when he died. He had them his whole life and placed them in his pant’s pocket wherever he went during the war to say them. He promised Our Lady that if she got him home safe to his family, he would say them until his death. He was struggling to keep that promise dying in bed.

His death was a gift to me, because I had left the Church for 15 years from being bitter that God had deserted me while I tried to hold my family together with an alcoholic husband and two daughters. At the time of my father’s death, I realized I not only needed God back in my life, but that I wanted Him. Opening up my heart to God, made me see that it wasn’t God that left me, I left Him. I shut the door on Him. 

I had choices living in fear, confusion and abuse with alcoholism in our family. Instead of leaving and keeping the girls safe, I became a great enabler for over fourteen years, damaging my daughter, Lori. If I hadn’t had God in my life, I would have not survived her death or my husbands from this worldwide disease. 

I took their deaths and made them into books. In this one, I show how God became my life. We will never know why He takes our loved ones, especially the young. We have to wait until He calls us. I wrote about Richie and Lori’s life ending with the conclusion written by 34 alcoholics and addicts about what we are missing as family to work together for them to desire the want to recover. 

This is a book of love, family, death, God, and having our faith return. It doesn’t matter what your religion is that you practice. We are all His children.
The book and the others can be purchased at http://www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira

It’s a wonderful book to give as a gift to someone in the hospital, sick, dying, someone who has lost their way, or one for you to open your heart to reality….We are here for a short time. Love one another each day! We never know when God will knock on our doors.

Alberta Sequeira
www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com
Email: [email protected]

"Free" Upcoming Writer's Workshop in September 2018

Authors Without Borders would like to send an invitation to all writers, authors, and all of you who want to write but have no idea where to start. It's a relaxed, mingle-in event to just chat and find out the roadblocks to our writing. A chance to meet other authors so all of us can throw ideas around on helping each other write, promote, market our work, and getting published. We have two websites: awb6.com and authorswithoutborders.wordpress.com. Email us at [email protected].

Alberta Sequeira: www.albertasequeira.org

 

 

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Meet & Greet
For All Writers
Free Event at Braintree’s Thayer Library

Don’t know how to start your writing project? Have you already started but it’s not working out the way you want? Have you finished a final draft but can’t find an agent or publisher? Or wondering how to market your published work? Would you like advice and support from experienced writers? Or simply chat with others who share your interests, frustrations, obstacles, and successes?
To help with these issues, on Saturday, September 29th, from 11 am to 2 pm, Authors Without Borders is partnering with the Thayer Public Library to hold a free, public Meet & Greet— for writers who are published, unpublished, aspiring, or just interested in learning more. The library is located at 798 Washington St., Braintree, MA 02184. 

The Thayer Library is providing free refreshments for this meeting. To register (so the Library can estimate the amount of refreshments needed), please contact Laurie Cavanaugh, Circulation Librarian at (781) 848-0405. The library’s website is www.thayerpubliclibrary.org

 

 

 

The Effect of Alcoholism on the Whole Family

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I wanted to open up to family members on my posts this week. The alcoholic and drug users are definitely sick, but we forget, that the family members may be more dysfunctional than the addict. Why? In my opinion, we are sober and remember all the things said to us, the mental and phycial abuse, the pain watching our loved ones bring themselves closer to death, we are the ones watching them as they are hooked-up to machines in the hospital trying to keep their bodies alive with hope that they will pull through when their organs are shutting down. 

The users are in another world and don’t remember anything the next day, but we do. These topics and details are not to make the alcoholic or drug user feel guilty. Far from it. It’s to pull us together as a family unit to see what happens behind closed doors with all of us. 

I, and my beloved family members, did exactly that with my husband, Richie, and my daughter, Lori, as they lay dying in hospitals. We watched as the demon pulled our hearts out of us, and grabbed so tightly to our loved ones that we had no strength or control to pull them apart. Richie died at 45 years of age at the VA Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island after one day being in a coma after we hung onto two weeks of him trying to recover. 

The sad part is when you see them dying in a hospital bed swearing to NO MORE DRINKING. THIS IS IT! They mean it at the time and you’re crushed it’s too late.

We suffered more with Lori being 3 weeks in a hospital, when the cycle kept going seeing her coming back to herself to only keep watching her vital signs going down. Watching no more urine dripping in the container at the bottom of her bed because her kidneys shut down. Because of that, the fluids they were giving her through IV’s had nowhere to go, so it went into her skin tissues to make her bloat to not recognizing her. Lori died at 39 years of age at the Charlton Memorial Hospital in Fall River, Massachusetts. She was laid to rest with Richie at the St. Patrick Cemetery in Somerset, Massachusetts. There are no words to describe this pain and helplessness. Only the people who have experienced the loss can understand. 

I thought I understood this disease when I read about a death from addiction that a family was suffering through, seeing it on television, hearing it from a friend, or reading about it in the newspaper. Until the disease hits your family member, it’s then that we standup and give attention to this disease that is worldwide. 

Hopefully, an alcoholic, drug user, or prescription users overusing their meds, will read this and face the fact you are loved. You are the ones who have to do the fighting to give your habit up. Family can only love and support you.

As for the dealers of drugs, I pray for you to someday see what you are actually doing ……..for money. You are the demon I speak about who has no heart in them or any emotions of becoming a killer. You are the ones who pass the drugs on to the once happy, loving people, to become rich. Remember one thing, and don’t ignore it; YOU will have one more person to account to for your actions of killing millions of people. It will be at the time of your own death facing God. 

Read about our family with alcohol abuse, reality of it with nothing hidden, the pain and suffering with all of us with my books at www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira

I am available for talks in the area, email me at [email protected]

Check my website to see film from family members and what they are experiencing at www.albertasequeira.wordpress.com

Two Associate Members of Authors Without Borders has a New Book!

Since 2007, I have belong to a group of authors, Authors Without Borders (www.awb6.com, and our other site www.authorswithoutborders.wordpress.com). There are four co-founders: Pat Perry of Fairhaven, MA, Alberta Sequeira of North Dartmouth, MA; Willie Pleasants of Dorchester, and Joyce Keller Walsh of Lakeville, MA.  If you are writers or authors, men or women, visit our sites above to see how to become associate member for $35 a year.  Also, Now is the time to network for "FREE", yes Free, with our upcoming event advertised on our sites for our yearly Meet and Greet event on September 29, 2018 at the Thayer Library in Braintree, MA from 11am-2pm. Get the information and join other authors to network and see what is and isn't working in the publishing world. Refreshments will be served.  FOR NOW, I want to give our two members a chance to get themselves and their book known. They will also be present at our workshop in Braintree in September ready to autograph their book. 

 

 

If I only knew

Authors of the Book:

Diane Ford
Diane Ford

AND:
KatharineGilpin_cropped
Katharine Gilpin

Did You Hear the News?

We are delighted to share some news with you. Over the past year we have been working on our new collaborative book, If Only I Knew Then What I Know Now, Women’s Stories of Discovery.

We have come together from different backgrounds and experiences to share our deepest secrets and pass along our most poignant teaching moments. If only we knew then what we know now, our lives may have taken a different direction. We stand in unity and in strength to share our ‘aha’ moments, with the hope and belief that in doing so, you may find the courage to share your stories and empower others.

We have put our whole hearts into this project with the intention of providing valuable insight and powerful guidance for women who are looking for ways to express and liberate themselves. It has been an enormously rewarding experience thus far and we will become even stronger, as we bring our stories into the light of day. We are of the collective belief that by baring our souls, we will help other women to bare theirs.

If Only I Knew Then What I Know Now, Women’s Stories of Discovery is a beautifully written collaboration of 42 women’s stories which address the importance of:

· Following Your Heart

· Taking a Stand For Yourself

· Finding Your Voice

· Recognizing Your Beauty and Power

· Honoring Your Intuition

As you embark upon reading the open and honest stories of this book, you will learn that you, too, have a story you are aching to share.

We hope that you will help us make this book a #1 bestseller on Amazon.

PLEASE LIKE OUR FB PAGE https://www.facebook.com/InYourOwnWordsWomen.com as well for up-to-date information. Thank you!

We are grateful for your support.
With heartfelt thanks and appreciation.
Katharine & Diane

Diane Marie Ford, Founder & CEO of Listen To Thyself
Certified Holistic Counselor, Spirit Medium, Author of The Spirits Speak on Success
Intuitive Life Counseling
Accredited by the American Association of Drugless Practitioners

www.ListenToThyself.com

Full Description of Addiction

Final picture for Kindle

by Rosemary Wright
(An Official OnlineBookClug.org review of What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict by Alberta Sequeira)

Frankly, I never took the byword that says one should not judge a man until one has walked in his shoes seriously before I read the book, What is an didn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict by Alberta H. Sequeira, who lost her husband and daughter due to alcoholism. Consequently, she compiled the stories in this narrative to help liquor and drug dependents, who are in denial, realize that they can be clean. As the title renewal, this nonfiction is about what works and doesn’t work for the addicts in their journey to recovery. This publication includes accounts written by thirty-three, former substance abusers about their personal experiences as users and their steps to restoration. Being inspirational, motivational, and spiritual, this guide has all that is required become substance-free.

Alberta premised the narration with the definition of addiction and referred to the latter as a disease that eats away its victims. She discolored that for sobriety to be attained, an addict should participate in repeated counseling, Alcoholics Anonymous/Narcotics Anonymous meetings, have a change of lifestyle, pray daily, and keep away from drinking and drug-using buddies. In addition, she suggested that the duration of recovery programs should be longer, and the Patient Privacy Law for alcoholics, drug abusers, and persons with mental illness should be modified to allow family members to be involved in the recovery process. In this book, it’s advised that doctors, counselors, and psychiatrists should not dwell on the substance use but should handle the reason for the habituation.

Fascinatingly, this work unveils one story after another narrated by the contributors, among whom are authors, counselors, life coaches, and speakers. Although, some of them are antonymous, a few are from Canada and the others are from various states in America. Some were addicted to only alcohol while the rest of them were hooked on both alcohol and dopes. Well written and narrated in the first person point of view by author and the different narrators, this compilation has the ability to hold a reader spellbound as each page brings out the unspeakable activities in the world of an addict; from the first day of dependency to recovery. At a steady pace, the plot is captivating and interesting, and there are revelations and helpful detains in each tale.

Thoroughly, each narrator describes his first ecstasy induced by spirits/narcotic, further indulgences, family history, why he decided to stop drinking or taking drugs,, his experiences in AA.NA meetings and rehabilitation centers/halfway houses, and what made him pull through. Many of the contributors attribute their improvements to their faith in a “higher Power,” believing in God and surrendering their lives to the Lord, Jesus Christ. From the multiple, personal stories written, I saw that several drinkers and users seek solace in substances mostly because of family and emotional problems. Unwisely, some of them are involved to overcome momentarily their feelings of guilt, physical and emotional abuse, anger, bitterness, low self-esteem, humiliation, and self-pity. As should be expected, a good few of them have boozers and trippers as parents and siblings.

Before reading the stories, I used to hold addicts responsible for their predicaments and insisted that they should suffer the aftermath of their actions, but after I finished readying, my perspective on substance abusers changed because i discovered that most of them did not intentionally choose that lifestyle, but a lot of factors beyond their control prompted them subconsciously to depend on the bottles and ropes. Altogether, the narrative highlights how willingness, clearing away doubts, failure, disappointment, and shame can be essential for the recovery of addicts. Invariable, the contributors admonished relatives to support users with tough love, without being forceful and judgmental. Explored in this narration, are the consequences of addiction such as; loss of jobs and properties, separation from family members and good friends, legal issues, declining health, and death. Most of the stories are kind of similar, but each tale has a unique information to get across to readers. Following the write-ups, at the end of the book are some spiritual and inspiring poems to motivate and direct addicts.

Lastly, this book is one of a kind and carries a global message that will save lots of lives and make our societies better. I recommend this book for addicts, desiring recovery, their family members, doctors, counselors, psychiatrists, and especially for non-using teenagers and adults to dissuade them from getting involved in substance abuse. 

Purchase at www.amazon.com/author/albertasequeira

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