I Can't Believe They Said That!

Announcing the winners of the "I Can't Believe They Said That!" contest at CapeCodToday.com:

Weirdest submitted by MO of Syracuse, New York
Funniest submitted by EV of New Jersey (formerly of West Yarmouth)
Hardest to Believe submitted by GW of Bass River

All of our winners will receive a CapeCodToday.com polo shirt.

Thanks for sending in your stories. Looks like it's almost time for another summer on Cape Cod!

It's almost that time of year--the clam shacks will open, left turns will become a no-no and plaid shorts clad visitors will storm the sandbar. In honor of their arrival, we've decided to beef up one of our favorite Cape Cod collections.

We've all heard of the television show "Kids Say the Darndest Thing.", well, when you own a business or work for a company related to the tourism industry, you may have encountered a comment or two that would inspire a local spin-off, "Visitors Say the Darndest Things."

Ask any chamber office attendee, restaurant server, realtor, front desk associate or town beach sticker clerk, and they can tell you some of the surprising things they've heard from visitors to Cape Cod.

Many people love the Cape and return year after year. Some folks are new to Cape Cod and ask some really "interesting" questions. And others are just plain, well, "interesting".

Just asking around, we've compiled a few stories that really stand out.  You'll roll your year-round eyes at some and chuckle at others. To grow our collection, we'd like to call on fellow Cape Codders to submit your strangest, funniest or most unique story.

We'll pass them around the office and the winners of the following categories will receive Cape Cod Today polo shirts:

Funniest
Weirdest
Hardest to believe 

Email your stories to maggie@ecape.com. Be sure to include your name and address and the area where you do business (upper, mid, lower or outer Cape).   We will post  submissions using only your initials and region.

We look forward to hearing your stories. Here are a couple to get the proverbial beach ball rolling!

One day during low tide, a visitor returned from a bay beach and asked in sincere earnest, "Could you please recommend a beach with some water?"

A woman called a vacation rental agency and insisted that she only be shown brand new houses. The rental agent asked if it was a matter of allergies to which the woman replied, that no, it had nothing to do with allergies. During a previous stay on the Cape, her family had rented an older house and one night her young son saw a ghost. She further went on to say he was in therapy and they could not chance his seeing another ghost, bringing about a relapse.

C'mon, you know you've got some good ones!  Email your stories to maggie@ecape.com. 

Last July, some friends and I went to the Cape for the weekend. Two of us had been visiting for years and love it there while the other two had never been. The one new girl, who isn't the brightest as you will see, asked three questions that absolutely stupified myself and the other Cape veteran:

1.) "What is New England?" - She literally had no idea this was part of the United States. She was under the impression we were in Europe.

2.) "Why isn't this cooked?" - She posed this question while we were at the Chatham Squire for dinner. It's ridiculous because SHE ORDERED RAW BAR!!!  Apparently, she meant she wanted steamers so I had to explain to her for the next 20 minutes that STEAMED and RAW are not the same thing. Meanwhile, my captain's platter got cold and I was angry.

3.) "Is that the Erie Canal?" - This was her inquiry as we crossed the Cape Cod Canal on our way home. First of all, we're from Central NY, how the hell could you think that was the Erie Canal? Secondly, she already expressed that she thought we were in England so did she think that the Erie Canal was all that separated North America from Europe?

Needless to say, she will never ever be invited back to the Cape after that performance. I think that both myself and the other Cape veteran at least deserve polo shirts for having to put up with her for 3 days!

Submitted by MO, Syracuse, NY (also a Lower Cape summer resident)

While working at Watson's clothing store in Orleans years ago, a gentleman came in and inquired about purchasing a bra for his wife.  When asked her size, he said he wasn't sure, but the right size would would fit him, so he could just try them on.

Submitted by HH, Lower Cape

In the early 80s when I was supervisor of passenger services for a large regional airline in Hyannis, a passenger came to the counter to find out the best route to take to get to Cape Cod. I asked her what town she was going to, and she replied "Cape Cod." When I explained that Hyannis was on Cape Cod, she began to get quite annoyed with me, insisting that it was definitely NOT and I didn't know what I was talking about. After I brought out a map to illustrate my point, we finally got to the bottom of things...it was Provincetown she was trying to find! I never did get an apology from her, she just stormed off to get her rental car so she could drive to....Cape Cod!

Submitted by PM, Mid Cape

This happened to a friend of mine who is a rental agent in Chatham, so I can't take the credit, just passing it along: She rented a nice house near Chatham Light to a nice couple who had never been to the Cape before. The morning after the their first night, the woman called my friend saying that they loved Chatham and loved the house, except for one teeny thing: The light from the lighthouse was coming in the windows at night and keeping her husband awake. Yes, she understood that all the windows had heavy shades for this reason, but her husband is extremely sensitive to light and couldn't sleep a wink. Would it be possible, she asked, if the town could turn off the lighthouse for the week they were staying there? When my friend explained that this was not possible, that it was needed for maritime navigation, the woman said, "Oh, I just thought it was there for decoration."

Submitted by ANON, Lower Cape

M

y parents grew up in New England, and we were all born there, and moved back in 1963 after six years in California. After visiting my retired Grandparents in Osterville for two weeks - well, we girls grew up and moved away (one just to Plymouth), but my parents lived the rest of their lives on the Cape.

My Dad grew to call the seasonal folk 'tourii', deciding that that was an acceptable plural form of 'tourist'. Whenever we had visitors, he would drive them around, showing them some of the sites. Included were the two water towers in Barnstable, visible from Route 6. He very nearly managed to convince some (he actually had one of my sisters wondering for a while) that one tower was for hot water, the other for cold.

Submitted by EV, NJ (formerly of West Yarmouth)

I was at a party and a man asked where I was from. I told him I was a rarity because I was actually born on Cape Cod.  I told him my grandfather was a Crowell and we traced our lineage back to the Mayflower. He looked hesitantly and said, you're really not a native! Gee, I didn't come over on the Mayflower, but I was born here!

Submitted by KW

My wife's friend moved to the Cape for several years.  After living here for about 2 years, she told my wife that she gotten off the Cape without going over either bridge.  My wife told her that it's an impossibility.  She kept insisting that she didn't use a bridge.  She even stated it to me and I told her that unless she flew or took a boat, she had to use the bridge.  She moved away and she still insists she didn't use a bridge!

Submitted by GW, Bass River