Naughty or nice? Cape Cod Today's Christmas Gifts for 2016

No need for an Elf on the Shelf in this newsroom...
This 1881 illustration by Thomas Nast helped form the modern image of Santa Claus

We are pleased to present our spoof annual “Christmas Gifts” for those both naughty and nice.  This is an editorial spoof.  Get over it!

Thanks to all of you, dear readers, for a successful 2016 and beyond.

George Price, head of CC National Seashore:  A long retirement and a chance to truly enjoy Cape Cod, as he has made possible for so many visitors over the years.

Barry Clifford of the Whydah Pirate Museum:  A big cup of grog and a great pirate feast for bringing the Whydah to life.

Katrina Boucher at The Cape Cod Dog:  A warm pair of socks for thinking outside the box.

Cape Cod Five Foundation’s David Willard:  A big, happy party with all those he has helped through the bank’s charity.

Mark “Stonewall” Ells, Barnstable Town Manager:  An “Internet for Dummies” book to help with the public meetings website and “Working with the Media” to teach him how to respond to CapeCodToday’s inquires.

County Commissioner Elect Ron Beaty:  A spotlight, a microscope and a great big broom as he begins his next adventure in Barnstable County Government.

State Rep. Tim Whelan:  A tip of our hat for his gracious, helpful responses to all of our media inquiries.

Orleans Police:  1,000 blessings for their fine work with Operation Rescue, to help find wandering dementia patients and individuals with special needs.

Sheriff Jim Cummings and his team:  The best lunch ever for the inmate work crews that help so many community organizations with free labor.

All Cape Police Departments:  A warm hug and a hot cup of Joe for Shop With A Cop and the special moments it creates.

Cape Cod Tech:  A brand new school for molding their students into successful adults.

Dr. Pamela Gould, newly-appointed Sandwich School Superintendent:  A giant retainer for a brutal lawyer in case history repeats itself with the school committee.

Peter Magaro of CTM Media: A warm handshake and hug for donating CapeCodToday to the Masonic Angels.

To Walter Brooks, the best media mentor ever:  Stories and surprises galore for years on end.  “Did you get a picture”?

To Family Dollar/Dollar Express:  A truckload of coal for shutting the South Yarmouth store on Christmas Eve.

To Local Desperados:  Your 15 minutes of fame on CCToday.

To the NOAH Shelter:  Farewell and good night.

To Paul Marble of Sturgis Charter School:  A jet ski to traverse the halls of Sturgis West.

To Senator-Elect Julian Cyr:  A big pair of feet, because you’ve got very big shoes to fill.

To Chick-fil-A’s Annemarie Reissner: Long lines of happy customers to support the year round jobs you provide.

To new Mashpee Superintendent Patty DeBoer:  A long line of successes with warm thanks for good stewardship and making it "great to be in Mashpee". welcomes thoughtful comments and the varied opinions of our readers. We are in no way obligated to post or allow comments that our moderators deem inappropriate. We reserve the right to delete comments we perceive as profane, vulgar, threatening, offensive, racially-biased, homophobic, slanderous, hateful or just plain rude. Commenters may not attack or insult other commenters, readers or writers. Commenters who persist in posting inappropriate comments will be banned from commenting on