Journey's blog

How does Alcohol Abuse Start?

Lori Water Raffing        Please, God, Not Two

I look at this picture of my beautiful daughter, Lori Cahill, and physically ache. How could a child who had everything be taken from me?
Here was a girl that was full of laughter, loved her family, had devoted friends, a son and a daughter who loved her, a good high-positon job, a joy to her parents …and gone from what…drinking, and possibly drugs, and hanging out with the wrong crowd.

My daughter started drinking in her last year of high school, or so I thought. Once she got out of school, she married and had her children. I thought her life was going well after losing her father at seventeen, I had forced her into an abortion at that age, and her friends were running wild with the family not being aware.

Lori never spoke back, entertained her friends at home and I thought all was wonderful. My other daughter, Debbie, had married, had a son and daughter and we were all close.

It wasn’t until Lori turned 37 years old, that all of us discovered she had a problem with drinking. She admitted herself into a substance abuse rehab three times and could not recover from her addiction.

Please, God, Not Two: This Killer Called Alcoholism was written after I lost my husband, Richard Lopes, and the demon returned to take her with him. Sadly, many families are losing their loved ones from addiction. It is such a useless death when there is help for them, but they can’t seem to hold on and desire the recovery. Good, happy, and loving children are dying worldwide from a disease that professionals are trying to find out how to stop this killer.

The gap will never be filled from losing Lori. Her two children still feel the pain along with her sister, who had been left with no other sibling. Lori’s daughter, Meagan, will be getting married December 5th with the emptiness of not having her mom look on with pride. How do we stop this sickness that is taking the lives of wonderful people?

I wrote about my loss in the sequel Please, God, Not Two and added my talks behind closed doors to substance abusers. They need to come out fighting and learn to love themselves again. So many think they are failures. These paths that they go down are not dead ends. They need to turn around and head for a life of happiness.

To start, they need to face their emotional problems and talk about them. That is the only way to heal. Forgive who hurt you and don’t allow them to keep you from being healthy.

Read the sequel and see how our enabling as family members only bring the addict deeper into their addiction.


Go to this link to order all books:

What are we doing Wrong?

Alberta at Tony's       alcoholic 




I had watched my husband, Richie and then my daughter, Lori, slowly kill themselves from alcohol abuse. They were put to rest together at the St. Patrick Cemetery in Somerset, Massachusetts from a disease of Alcoholism that is taking to many of our loves ones.

Since their loss, I became a Motivational Speaker on addiction and also the effect of alcoholism on the whole family to the public. My greatest joy is to the direct contact with substance abusers themselves. Why? because they are good people who had just turned to the drinking and taking drugs for the wrong reason. Their reason: to cover their pain from many things that have happened to them in their young lives. Pain that family members don't see, because they hide it so well.

I talk behind closed doors to the addicts and found many reasons for their addiction: parents or relatives who had drank, many who died from their addiction, being abused as a child mentally and physically, hanging out with the wrong friends to fit into the crowd, abortions, feeling no love, being bullied at school, being shy and had the need to be the opposite, lost confidence in themselves, from a death leaving them devastated, coming from low income families feeling no hope, not finding jobs, living in slums, and the reasons could probably cover four more pages.

Those problems with an individual are what causes them to turn inward and hide what they are feeling. I try to explain to them that the healing is talking about the experience that hurts. You can't go forward if you don't get what I call "all the garbage out." You have to learn that you have a right to your feelings whether people understand or not. They are affecting you from living a healthy life. 

I don't believe substance abusers want to live this way. At first, it's all the fun in the world until you realize that you can't stop. Once the demon gets a hold of you, and especially if you don't want to stop, your organs are going to shut down and you will be joining the other addicts who have died from an illness that could be changed.

People, not just substance abusers, have turned away from their faith. God has been taken out of documents, schools, our government, families, our hearts. When you have Him in your heart, you are not alone. He is a loving and merciful God who made us so we would be happy with the life he gave us.

We forget that He has given us "Free Will." You have choices; keep heading down the death path or turn around, no matter how hard it is, and head for recovery. Only you can do it. Family can only support and love you. This is your battle. 

I highly suggest, since the substance abuser has the right to stop family members to go to their counseling from the Patient Privacy Act, to breakdown the walls and include them in your recovery program. Lori used this law to keep us out, and instead, she never got to hear what happened to her as a child that she didn't understand and grew up living in fear. She needed to hear from me, her mother, who lived through the pain also, to help her learn what went wrong. Instead, she decided not to face that fear and died instead of learning why she turned to substance abuse.

My advice to counselors and doctors is to find out why they are drinking more so than the action itself. It's the reasons that are killing them. The addicts need professionals with deep routed education and degrees in Alcoholism to help them. Counselors with no education, but who lived through it, are good at counseling meetings. The physical and mental depression needs to be treated with the professionals. Some don't recover thrown-in with a group in a rehab. Many can't open up in front of others. They need that one on one.

How do I know this? because I saw regular counselors did not help Lori at all. She needed to find someone she trusted and that person needed to know through education on how to reach her and give her the desire to recover. Lori needed one person to feel a connection to and find her way back.

My advice to alcoholics and drug users is to walk away from the friends, who you think are friends, stop going to the same place with the same people, the corner where the drug dealers are, and head for home. Clear you minds so you can think with a healthy mind and recover and turn back to prayer.

Many tell me, I don't know how to say the rosary. That is okay because God knows that and everything else about you. People don't realize that prayer is just talking to God. Start your day, asking him to help you not take that drink, pill or shot. If you slip, at the end of the day thank him for that day even though it was a nightmare. Why? because he is giving you another day to get it right.


Parents of the Addicted

We talk about our loved ones who are addicted to alcohol abuse or on drugs. Do we think of the parent's pain in trying to help them as we watch them day in or day out knowing they are heading for being added to the list of persons who had died from alcoholism? Or what about 24/7 with the thoughts trying to know where they are, with whom, what they are doing, if they are sick laying in a corner somewhere, or dying out of sight. Waiting for the knock on the door seeing a police officer facing you.

Yes, parents who have been good to their children, gave them a good home, had a healthy meal on the table, helped them in their school work, saved for their college education, and done everything parents do because we love them and want the best for them, suddenly are faced with the reality that the loved one is hooked on alcohol or drugs. The fear comes from the depth of your soul.  Questions fly with, "How can I help them, why won't they listen, why won't they go for professional help, why do they hang out with these other users," and we come to term that all the threats, enabling or whatever we try to stop the action, does not work.

My daughter, Lori (Lopes) Cahill from North Dighton, Massachusetts died at thirty-nine like she feared; the same way as her father, Richard Lopes, did at forty-five years of age..cirrhosis of the liver in a cold VA Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island. Lori and her sister were by his side when he took his last breath. Lori was seventeen years of age and Debbie was twenty-one when he was taken from us, and Lori's daughter, Meagan, was seventeen sitting by Lori's side watching her being taken off life-support after three weeks of hanging onto hope at the Charlton Memorial Hospital in Fall River, Massachusetts. Read the memoirs of Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round; An Alcoholic Family in Crisis and its sequel of Lori in Please, God, Not Two: This Killer Called Alcoholism.

When does death stop taking one member at a time from this horrible, worldwide disease? Why aren't professionals able to help the addicted? Why is the number of deaths climbing instead of declining?

We have to learn what the addict needs. I wondered this when I finally lost Lori. Why are the others facing their disease and coming out winning with their battle to survive? That question needed to be answered. How? By going to the substance abuser themselves. Who knows more about their pain and suffering than another addict. Are we not listening to them? Are we waiting too long for the disease to grab onto them and they can't break away from the demon?

I had thirty-five alcoholic and drug user offer to tell their stories, not only to other addicts, but to doctors, counselors, society and family members with our enabling, which only brings them deeper into their addiction. This is a book that helps everyone. Go into the mind-set of the addict and learn what is and isn't working for them. What do they need from us?

Read What is and isn't Working for the Alcoholic and Addict: In Their Own Words and all my other books. Click here to purchase the book in paperback or Kindle. Spread the news of this publication. After reading it, set it down on a table for the addict to read without saying a word and let the contributors do the work to connect with them. That is why they told their stories; to save others from the pain of loss with everything in their lives.

This is an educational book that would be an eye-opener in schools. It can become a topic in class or a homework assignment. Many children may be suffering silently not knowing how to talk about their family living in a deep, dark hole or they themselves may be wanting help but not knowing how to ask. Talking about the lives of the contributors may spark life into the students and help them to start opening up without facing a counselor.

It's a  book to help the substance abuser getting help at detox centers, substance abuse rehabilitation locations, court-ordered programs. It helps doctors and councilors look at addiction differently.  If something isn't working, we need to take a step in another direction to helping the addicted.

This is a book for business owners who are having numerous sick days piling up from workers fighting alcohol or drug abuse. Give the book as gift. 

It's a book for family members to read to understand what we are doing wrong. Purchasing this book, gives the addicted a voice, and I hope you help me to accomplish this task.


Writer's Workshop in Cape Cod

Steven Manchester is an Associate Member of Authors Without Borders, which is a writer's group Alberta Sequeira belongs to with four other authors (


I’m excited to announce that I’ll be teaching at the 53rd Annual Cape Cod Writers Center Conference.

This year’s conference will be held August 6-9 at the Resort and Conference Center at Hyannis. It features workshops and classes in memoir, poetry, historical fiction, screenwriting, children’s and young adult writing, social media, self-publishing, editing, hooking an agent, and many other topics for writers in all genres and at all stages of their writing careers. I’ll be teaching Internet eBook Promotion, as well as mentoring writers 1-on-1 with their manuscripts.

Check it out:

**Check his many books on Amazon that have become Best Sellers!!


Steven Manchester 
(w) 781-416-2237 (c) 617-862-8311
[email protected]

Thoughts of a Parent

Over-drinking is something that I search out with people when I socialize at events like weddings, eating at restaurants,  someone sitting at a bar, or at a private party at someone’s house.  Am I alone with this trait since I lost my husband and daughter from their addiction?  I find being with family members that I am starting to watch and count someone’s drinks like I did with Richie.

Lori asked me once if I thought she drank too much.  I answered, “If you are asking the question, you may be. Do you think you are an alcoholic?”

“An Alcoholic?  I’m not an alcoholic, Mom! I drink the same as everyone when we have gatherings.”

I can remember that conversation so long ago…coming up to nine years after losing her on November 22, 2006..two days before Thanksgiving.

The more we are invited to gatherings, I see heavy drinking.  No one gets drunk, fights, slur their words or falls down making a fool of themselves…but, I see the drinks flowing all day.  No one seems to take a break from the drinking.  It’s not a favorite drink that they stick to but they have fun mixing different ones.

It brings back the years that I used to count Richie’s drinks when I was rarely out with him having fun with his drinking buddies.  He never drank at home or weekends with his family…but he died at forty-five years of age in 1985 from his over-drinking.

I guess drinking becomes a problem when it causes problems in ones’ life.  But, again, how many drinkers stop to say, “Wow, I seem to be drinking a lot, I am waking up with a hangover too often, we fight a lot with me staying out drinking, or I pick up drinking the next day even after I get sick from it?” Substance abusers don’t see the future path that they are traveling on at a young age.  To them, it’s a fun time.  It takes years for drinking to become problems in ones’ lifetime.

My memory goes to Lori saying, “This may sound crazy, Mom, but the best days of my life were when I was drinking.”

To her, it was, but she gave up her family who loved her, friends, fun, and died too soon.  All from the fun of drinking!

So, I try not to be judgmental when I sit amongst the drinkers.  I pray if another family member notices their own actions with drinking going too far that they have the strength to pull back and look at the situation.


Are parents friends or enemies to the addicted?

A. Sequeira

I guess you could say that is an odd question for a parent to ask after losing a husband and daughter to their addiction.  Why do our loved ones turn away from us instead of towards us for help.? Every time Al and I tried to help Lori, or even our whole family, she’d remark she was fine and had no problem.

The Patient Privacy Act gave Lori the right to omit family completely in her counseling sessions, even though we believed that she needed to hear what really happened to her while growing up. I believe that this law is also as enabling as the family.  It protects the substance abuser to the point of them not getting the past out into the open to see how much we can help them.

No matter how much we yell, scream, threaten, punish or ask them over and over again why they can’t get their life together, they look at us as being smothering. I had to lose two people I loved to realize that they don’t know themselves why they are going down this path and only they can pull themselves out of this dark hole and we can only love and support them. Sometimes, that is not enough.

Lori feared dying like her father when he was forty-five and she went down the same path to only be laid to rest by his side at thirty-nine years of age at the St. Patrick Cemetery in Somerset, Massachusetts. All my prayers and rosaries went unanswered. I live on believing that God is all love and mercy and had a reason that I will never understand to take her home early. He gives life to us and then we belong to Him and he takes us to our home in heaven when he needs us.

Counselors and doctors need to dig deep into the addicts past to find out “why” they are using more than trying to fix the disease. I tell the patients when I talk to them that they have to get the garbage out of them to heal. Holding the pain and resentment will keep them stuck. That is what happened to Lori. Instead of talking about the events and recovering, she held it in and drank to take the pain away to only end her life.

Parents and family members become the enemy in the addicted’s eyes and mind. If others in their life drank and treated them badly, than it’s hard to talk and forgive. To become their friend, we need to “listen” to them when they want to open up to us.  We need to “show” them we love them, not tell them. We have to let them know it’s the disease we hate not them.

I wish I had all the answers when I give talks or hold an addict in my arms knowing they are hurting and are frightened to return to a world with no more drinking or taking drugs. They forget how to be happy and live what we call a normal life again.

In my book What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict, a high percent of them talk about turning back to God and their faith. We have pushed the most important person out of our lives..our Maker who loves us. He gives us choices and we have to choose to either get better by reaching out for help or staying with the comfort, which is really their killer, in the world of drugs and alcohol.

Go to to purchase.


Have you lost faith in God and life?

Spiritual Renewal Cover

How many of us have waited too long to learn what our loved ones were all about before their passing? Did opportunities slip by to tell them they were loved? Or were the doors to forgiveness closed because of pride?

A Spiritual Renewal: A Journey to Medjugorje is a beautiful story which follows the author’s inner thoughts and intense emotions as she fights the prognosis of her father’s cancer and learns too late about his remarkable military status. This is the story of her journey. Read about Brigadier General, Albert L. Gramm formally from East Falmouth and his last stay in So. Dennis, who had been one of the 26th Yankee Division commanding officers during WWII. He fought in some of the famous battles like Metz, Lorraine and The Battle of the Bulge. 

This memoir reaches those who have suffered from losing a loved one, a military serviceman or woman, have no direction in life, wondered what Medjugorje is all about with the ten secrets being given to six visonaries in Bosnia, and those of us who have pushed God completely out of our lives. Get the true feeling of the devotion Hospice gives to families. Learn how we take our veteran for granted not realizing those who fought have done for us. This story is also about family, love and miracles. This is a book of many lessons for both men and women.

Believers, who have strayed from their faith, could find A Spiritual Renewal to be the key needed to open a door to a journey back to God. In a world that is learning how not to believe, disillusioned by church scandals, distracted by TV, the Internet, and a busy lifestyle, this memoir could be just what is needed to get those from all spiritual viewpoints back on track. ~ William Potter for Reader's Choice Reviews

After reading this book, maybe we can just slow down for a moment and contemplate what is really important to us in our own world...the people in our lives whom we love and care about and a God who will never abandon us. Thank you, Alberta, for helping me to strengthen my own faith.

~ Gail Brazil, Reader, Topsfield, Massachusetts


The Effect of Alcoholism on the Whole Family




       Tom Cirignano                                              Phil Paleologos                                     Alberta

February 6, 2014, I hosted a program for families at the Lakeville Library in Massachusetts. Two recovery alcoholics talked about how they got involved with alcohol that turned their lives upside down.

I had an hour to talk about how the family members suffer silently ourselves trying to deal with the confusion, fear, enabling, denial, and some of us, living with physical abuse. This video is worth watching. I hope it helps just one person.

Alberta Sequeira

Purchase What is and isn't Working for the Alcoholic and Addict at


Medjugorje: Events to Happen




Taken from the Overview from

Medjugorje is a tiny, remote village in Bosnia. 

Since 1981, in a small village in Bosnia-Hercegovina named Medjugorje, the Blessed Virgin Mary has been appearing and giving messages to the world. She tells us that God has sent Her to our world, and these years She is spending with us are a time of Grace granted by God. In Her own words She tells us, "I have come to tell the world that God exists. He is the fullness of life, and to enjoy this fullness and peace, you must return to God".

Our Lady's mission is one of peace. She has come to earth to reeducate us and to help us convert and recenter our lives back to God. Our Lady's role has always been one of guiding people to Her Son, Jesus. What an amazing opportunity we have before us! Our Lady's call to conversion is urgent, and we should respond with all our hearts.

Our Lady continues to give messages to six people from the village of Medjugorje: Ivan, Jakov, Marija, Mirjana, Vicka, and Ivanka. These six people (referred to as "visionaries") have received apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary since June 24, 1981. In addition to Her public messages, Our Lady is to give each of the six visionaries a total of ten "secrets" of happenings that will occur on earth in the near future. Some of the secrets pertain to the whole world while others concern the visionaries themselves or the local village. Only one of the secrets has so far been revealed by the visionaries. In the third secret Our Lady has promised to leave a supernatural, indestructible, and visible sign on the mountain where she first appeared. Our Lady said: "This sign will be given for the atheists. You faithful already have signs and you have become the sign for the atheists. You faithful must not wait for the sign before you convert; convert soon. This time is a time of grace for you. You can never thank God enough for His grace. The time is for deepening your faith, and for your conversion. When the sign comes, it will be too late for many."

When each of the six visionaries has received all ten "secrets", Our Lady will stop appearing to them on a daily basis. Currently, Marija, Vicka, and Ivan have received nine secrets, and Our Lady still appears to them every day, wherever they are, at 6:40pm. Mirjana, Jakov, and Ivanka have received all ten secrets, and Our Lady appears to them once per year for the rest of their lives. For Ivanka who received her 10th secret on May 7, 1985 it is on the anniversary of the apparitions, June 25 each year. For Jakov who received his 10th secret on September 12, 1998, it is on Christmas day each year. And for Mirjana who received her 10th secret on Christmas 1982, it is on her birthday, March 18 each year. Our Lady has also been appearing to Mirjana on the 2nd of each month since August 2, 1987 for the purpose of praying for all unbelievers. Mirjana tells us that it is very important that all of us pray for the unbelievers in the world, who are described as those who have not yet experienced God's love. No one knows when Our Lady will give the tenth secret to Marija, Ivan, and Vicka.

Once Our Lady has stopped appearing there will be three warnings given to the world. These warnings will be in the form of events on earth. They will occur within Mirjana's lifetime, and Mirjana will be a witness to them. Ten days before each of the warnings, she will advise the priest she chose for this task (Father Petar Ljubicic), who will then pray and fast with Mirjana for seven days. Then, three days before each warning is to take place, Fr. Petar will announce to the world what, where, and when the warning will take place. Fr. Petar has no choice, and must reveal each warning. After the first warning, the other two will follow in a rather short period of time. That interval will be a period of great grace and conversion. After the permanent, visible, supernatural, and indestructible sign appears on the mountain where Our Lady first appeared in Medjugorje, there will be little time for conversion. For that reason, the Blessed Virgin invites us to urgent conversion and reconciliation. The permanent sign will lead to many healings and conversions before the secrets become reality. According to Mirjana, the events predicted by the Blessed Virgin are near. By virtue of this experience, Mirjana proclaims to the world: 'Hurry, be converted; open your hearts to God.'

The ninth and tenth secrets are serious. They concern chastisement for the sins of the world. Punishment is inevitable, for we cannot expect the whole world to be converted. The punishment can be diminished by prayer and penance, but it cannot be eliminated. Mirjana says that one of the evils that threatened the world, the one contained in the seventh secret, has been averted, thanks to prayer and fasting. That is why the Blessed Virgin continues to encourage prayer and fasting: "You have forgotten that with prayer and fasting you can ward off wars, suspend natural laws."

In addition to this basic message, Mirjana related an apparition she had in 1982, which sheds some light on certain aspects of Church history. She spoke of an apparition in which satan appeared to her, and asked Mirjana to renounce Our Lady and to follow him. By doing so she could be happy in love and in life. He added that following Our Lady would only lead to suffering. Mrjana rejected him, and immediately Our Lady appeared and Satan disappeared. Then Our Lady gave Mirjana the following message:

"Excuse me for this, but you must realize that Satan exists. One day he appeared before the throne of God and asked permission to submit the Church to a period of trial. God gave him permission to try the Church for one century. This century is under the power of the devil; but when the secrets confided to you come to pass, his power will be destroyed. Even now he is beginning to lose his power and has become aggressive. He is destroying marriages, creating divisions among priests and is responsible for obsessions and murder. You must protect yourselves against these things through fasting and prayer, especially community prayer. Carry blessed objects with you. Put them in your house, and restore the use of holy water."

According to certain Catholic experts who have studied these apparitions, this message of Mirjana may shed light on the vision Pope Leo XIII had. According to them, it was after having had an apocalyptic vision of the future of the Church that Leo XIII introduced the prayer to Saint Michael, which priests used to recite after Mass up to the time of the Second Vatican Council. These experts say that the century of trials foreseen by Leo XIII is about to end.

Since the apparitions began in 1981, approximately 40 million people of all faiths, from all over the world, have visited Medjugorje and have left spiritually strengthened and renewed. Many bring back stories of miracles in the form of healings (of mind, body and spirit), supernatural visual signs, and deep conversions back to God. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones, to investigate with an open mind and heart the messages which are given to us by Our Lady of Medjugorje. I invite you to read these messages and decide for yourself how they will affect your life and that of your family.

Our Lady's messages are meant to be assembled like a mosaic. To understand the full meaning and depth of these messages, we need to study all of the messages She has given us over these last 33+ years. "By means of the messages, I wish to make a very beautiful mosaic in your hearts." (November 25, 1989). Our Lady has asked that we continually read, study, and meditate on the messages which She has given us. She said: "Little children, read every day the messages I gave you and transform them into life. I love you and this is why I call you to the way of salvation with God." (December 25, 1989).

The technique of teaching which Our Lady uses, reeducates us to be Christians. She accomplishes this by walking with us, and guiding us step by step, message by message. Today, many people think it is not important to be a Christian. Others want to live a superficial form of Christianity which is easier or more convenient than living a true Christian life. Our Lady wants to show us through Her messages the real face of Christianity. This is a long process because we as a society have strayed far from the truth and God and are slow to learn. This is true both in the Church and outside the Church. We have to accept being totally reeducated, little by little, by the Mother of God. The problem with mankind is not so much that people have bad intentions; there are plenty of good hearted people. The problem is that we sometimes don't see the truth; we are in darkness, and many of us are just blind. We do not realize that we have put ourselves into the hands of satan because we do not know how to tell the difference between right and wrong. Many of us become an image of satan without even knowing it.

I don't think that anyone could argue, regardless of religious orientation, that today's world is in a state of crisis. All one has to do is read the newspaper or watch television to be see how eroded the morals of our world have become. It is shocking to see and hear the examples of terrorism, inhumanity, cruelty, violence, abuse, drugs, war, crime, etc., etc. Much of the world has strayed far from a life centered around God and family. The answers which we need to redirect our life can be found by reading and living Our Lady's messages and Scripture.

"You are ready to commit sin, and to put yourselves in the hands of satan without reflecting." (May 25, 1987)

"Do not allow satan to gain control of your hearts, so you would be an image of satan and not of me." (January 30, 1986)

"Children, darkness reigns over the whole world. People are attracted by many things and they forget about the more important."

"Light won't reign in the world until people accept Jesus, until they live His words, which is the Word of the Gospel."

"Dear children, this is the reason for my presence among you for such a long time: to lead you on the path of Jesus. I want to save you and, through you, to save the whole world. Many people now live without faith; some don't even want to hear about Jesus, but they still want peace and satisfaction! Children, here is the reason why I need your prayer: prayer is the only way to save the human race." (July 30, 1987)

We must realize that Satan is real. He uses us for his own end and purposes. His main purpose is destruction. Destruction of love, peace, faith, family, and life. Just as God gave David 5 stones with which to defeat Goliath, Our Lady is also giving us 5 Stones or Weapons we can use to defeat satan. They are:

Daily Prayer (Of the Rosary)
Fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays
Daily Reading of the Bible
Monthly Confession
Holy Mass
Click Here, for a detailed look at these 5 Stones or Weapons to conquer satan.



Read more about Alberta's journey to Medjugorje and how it changed her life in her memoir A Spiritual Renewal: A Journey to Medjugorje  at:

What do the Addicts need for support?





Are you going crazy trying to understand why the alcoholic and drug user can't stop their habit? Are you drained trying to help them? Are you in fear watching them slowly kill themselves? What do they need from us to help them want the desire to get professional help? What do they want from the professionals? This book will also help the substance abuser realize that they are not going crazy and alone with their suffering in silence. This is a family book for every member to come to read the deep emotional feelings that the alcoholic has and what family members are going through trying to help them.

Author, Alberta Sequeira, wondered why some alcoholics and drug addicts recover and put their lives together while others die from this horrible worldwide problem. What gives them the physical and mental strength to fight this battle and come out winning? These questions, and the author’s tragedy to losing her husband and daughter from their alcohol abuse, encouraged this writing. Here is a book, not only for the substance abusers, but for family members, society, doctors, and counselors to learn, not only what the addict is looking for with support to help them through with their recovery, but new ways to help the addicted.

You will learn that childhood emotional wounds mold us into what we become in adulthood. What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict is a book of personal stories by thirty-four alcoholics and drug users from all walks of life from the United States and Canada. The first few years of recovery in substance abuse contain numerous pitfalls which addicts in recovery must have the right kind of help with. The best-intention of friends, family, lovers, and co-workers can be healthy supports or obstacles to long-term sobriety. Addicts sharing their experience, strength and hope with others is something that only a recovering addict or alcoholic can do. It is a unique gift. T

This book contains the testimonies of individuals who were or are actively in a recovery program and wanted to share their habit and actions with their struggles trying to overcome their own addiction. Their main goal is to help others who are fighting with their recovery and sobriety. These are their own stories on how their addiction led to the devastation of losing control of their life, family, friends and the death of other family members from this disease we call Alcoholism. Their desire is to lift other substances abusers, especially young people, in learning the reality that it’s not that drinking and taking drugs may, could or would kill.... It will.

Hopefully, the heartfelt honesty from the participants will help doctors and counselors to use their stories for their own study on what may be missing in the treatment methods. The personal testaments within What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict is an added tool as to how people are affected, and how they suffer long-term drinking habits from living in an active alcoholic family.

As one contributor wrote, “I was tired of getting sick, my hands shaking, my vision deteriorating, my nose bleeding, my bowels moving sporadically, the violence and running from many situations being paranoid to the point of staying home all day (I had a job, a husband, family), not sleeping and not feeling safe.” What alcoholic or addict is not going to relate to these emotions?

Out of thirty-four short stories, you can't help but find one story and say, "That's me" or "That's our family." What is and isn't Working for the Alcoholic and Addict is in both paperback and Kindle. Click here:



Great Info for the family of the addict
By MSH58
Format: Paperback

I have learned a lot from family and friends who are in recovery and this book took it one level deeper. The stories are raw, honest and heartfelt from the people who lived through the pain and came out on the other side. I would recommend this book to family members or friends who want to know how an addict/alcoholic thinks. It’s also could be a good way to open a conversation with a loved one who is struggling to come to grips with whether they have a problem. We all want to know the right way to handle things and I think Alberta’s book gives us insight that there is no “pat” answer that applies to every addict. Bravo to the folks telling their stories!

Many addicts stories
By Amazon Customer
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase

Very informative reading many addicts stories. What made them seek help. What helped them stay sober. What length of time needed in treatment. What treatment programs need.

Personal and revealing
By Heidi Hofschulz
Format: Kindle Edition

It is amazing that there are so many different experiences, all gathered by the author and put in one place. There are no stereotypes that can encapsulate all the individuals who shared their stories. This book is very personal, and the stories are revealing in many frames of reference. I think the book is a gentle tool for addicts/alcoholics and for their families. It is nice to have a book I can recommend to someone I come across who is in either situation, since it’s rare to find a person who is unaffected by these things in their lives at some point.