Does sobriety seem too far away? Does it seem like something that is completely out of your reach? That is because you have not chosen from the heart and complete determination to end the nightmare of drinking in your life. You need to look at your patterns on where you go and with whom. You need to educate your minds with which path to start going down and leave your past pain and struggles in the dust.
You need to get back to the person you were before your drinking. Get your confidence back that you “deserve” to get well. Learn to push stubbiness aside and pull in the professionals to help. If you don’t like or feel comfortable with the one trying to help you, find another doctor or counselor. This is your life and mind that needs repair. Don’t waste it on a professional who is not helping you. Also, be honest and ask yourself, “Is he/she not helping me or am I not helping myself? Am a holding back from change? Am I ignoring and fighting what they are asking from me?"
Only you can get honest with yourself. You got yourself in this situation, now you have to get yourself out alone. Don’t blame others and use excuses on their demands and pressure as your reason for not getting sober. No one makes you pick up that drink but yourself.
There is nothing wrong with weakness with this disease. The demons have taken too many addicts from this earth. Now it’s time to crush them.
For those of you who live in the area of Buzzards Bay, Massachusetts, I will be selling and autographing my books Saturday, December 6, 2014 from 10am-4pm. I will be attending the St. Margaret Regional School-Craft Fair at 143 Main Street in Buzzards Bay, MA.
This is a good time to throw a book as an extra personal gift into someone's Christmas present. It will give them days to relax and get absorbed into someone's journey. My memoir A Spiritual Renewal: A Journey to Medjugorje will bring life back into the person who has lost their faith. It's also a book for veterans and any man who will enjoy a story about Brigadier General, Albert L. Gramm during WWII having fought in some of the battles like Lorraine, Metz and The Battle of the Bulge. He was one of the Commanding Officers of the 26th Yankee Division.
Someone Stop this Merry-Go-Round; An Alcoholic Family in Crisis is a story that goes behind closed doors to learn the facts how a family struggles with alcoholism. Read how a gentle, loving husband and father, turned into someone who became abusive from his alcohol addiction. Feel the pain of loss when he dies at forty-five years of age from his young years of drinking. Alberta is frank in this book about enabling.
Please, God, Not Two: This Killer Called Alcoholism is the sequel, although it can stand alone, follows Ms. Sequeira's daughter, Lori Cahill, after her father dies, who battles her own addiction entering the Gosnold Rehabilitation Center twice in Falmouth, Massachusetts and once at Butler Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island. Read the reality of a parent watching the same demon return for her daughter after taking her husband.
These two books are more about lessons with handling addiction more than memoirs. They could have been titled What Not to Do! In the sequel, Alberta's talks in private to patients at halfway home, court-ordered programs and substance abuse rehabilitation are added. Lori passed on November 22, 2006, at thirty-nine years of age. She was put to rest with her father at the St. Patrick Cemetery in Somerset, Massachusetts.
In September of 2103, she self-published What is and isn't Working for the Alcoholic and Addict: In Their Own Words. It is written by 34 alcoholics and drug addicts from all walks of life from the United States and Canada. Ms. Sequeira calls this the conclusion to her other two books about her family fighting addiction. She wanted to hear directly from the substance abusers why some overcome their addictions while others die from the disease and what can family, doctors, counselors and society do to help them. This is a book Alberta would love to see in schools.
These contributors tell their private struggle with how they fought the battle of addiction to come out winning and tells why they believe the recovery programs are not working. This is a good book to present to the family member who does not want to talk about their alcohol or drug habit. Let the contributors do the work. What is more unique than a substance abuser helping another? They also give advice to family members on how they can help them develop the desire to get professional help.
I would love to meet my followers. You are the ones who make authors find joy with our writing, whether through our stories or experiences in life..
For those who can't attend, my books are available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle.
Hope to see you there.
My Husband, Al, and I went to a Veteran’s dinner this week, and I heard a poem that actually brought me to tears. It may be long, but I have to share this. Read it slowly and take in the words.
I Am a Veteran
by Andrea C. Brett
You may not know me the first time we meet
I’m just another you see on the street
But I am the reason you walk and breathe free
I am the reason for your liberty
I am a Veteran
I work in the local factory all day
I own the restaurant just down the way
I sell you insurance, I start your IV
I’ve got the best-looking grandkids you’ll ever see
I’m your grocer, your banker
Your child’s schoolteacher
I’m your plumber, your barber
Your family’s preacher
But there’s a part of me you don’t know very well
Just listen a moment, I’ve a story to tell
I am a Veteran
I joined the service while still in my teens
I traded my prom dress for camouflage greens
I’m the first in my family to do something like this
I followed my father, like he followed his
Defying my fears and hiding my doubt
I married my sweetheart before I shipped out
I missed Christmas, then Easter, the birth of my son
But I knew I was doing what had to be done
I served on the battlefront, I served on the base
I bound up the wounded, and begged for God’s grace
I gave orders to fire, I followed commands
I marched into conflict in far distant lands
In the jungle, the desert, on mountains and shores
In bunkers, in tents, on dank earthen floors
While I fought on the ground, in the air, on the sea
My family and friends were home praying for me
For the land of the free and the home of the brave
I faced my demons in foxholes and caves
Then one dreaded day, without drummer or fife
I lost an arm, my buddy lost his life
I came home and moved on, but forever was changed
The perils of war in my memory remained
I don’t really say much, I don’t feel like I can
But I left home a child, and came home a man
There are thousands like me, thousands more who are gone
But their legacy lives as time marches on
White crosses in rows, and names carved in queue
Remind us of what these brave souls had to do
I’m part of a fellowship, a strong mighty band
Of each man and each woman who has served this great land
And when Old Glory waves, I stand proud, I stand tall
I helped keep her flying over you, over all
I am a Veteran
Thank you, Dad, for your years during WWII. Fighting in battles like Lorraine, Metz and the Battle of the Bulge. Being one of the commanding officers for the 26th Yankee Division and making multiple choices over and over, not being able to save all your men.
I took those years you fought and pushed them aside, not asking you how you survived when you were alive. As the years past, and we hear of the horrible wars off shore that take our family members, I realize how important it is to remember.
by Alberta Sequeira
Read about Alberta Sequeira's father, Brigadier General, Albert L. Gramm, in A Spiritual Renewal in Amazon. Key in her name and her books will come up.
Authors Without Borders
“WRITING, PUBLISHING, and MARKETING”
Awb Cable Round Table
Sponsored by UMass/Dartmouth’s Second Half Lifelong Learning Institute, four award-winning regional authors will hold a free workshop on “The ABCs of Writing, Publishing, and Marketing” on Thursday, November 13th, 1-4 pm, at the Southworth Library in Dartmouth (732 Dartmouth St.)
Authors Without Borders (AWB) has presented programs at various venues, both academic and nonacademic, and also hosts the New Bedford cable t.v. show, “Authors Without Borders Presents,” now in its fourth year. Members of AWB include: Pat Perry (Fairhaven), author of a fantasy trilogy as well as a comedic novella; Willie Pleasants (Boston), poet and actor, who hosts her own t.v. show on Boston Neighborhood Network; Alberta Sequeira (Rochester), speaker and instructor, who has authored several memoirs as well as an edited volume on alcoholism and substance abuse; and Joyce Keller Walsh (Lakeville), mystery writer and playwright, whose film-script of her first book has just been optioned for a feature movie. To learn more about the members, visit the website: www.awb6.com.
The group will share their knowledge of the process and pitfalls of writing, publishing, and marketing in the current environment, and discuss with participants their individual questions and concerns about their own projects.
To sign-up for the free program, please e-mail Beverly Stevens, Director of the Second Half Lifelong Learning Institute, by Monday, Nov. 4th at: [email protected] ; or you may telephone the office at 508-677-4694.
Pat Perry/Fantasy & Comic NovellaWillie Pleasants
Willie Pleasants/ Poetry & Short Stories
Alberta Sequeira/Memoirs & Alcohol Abuse Speaking Engagements
Joyce Keller Walsh/ Mysteries & Playwriting
Selling anything is really hard work for sales people. I went to the Lakeville Art's Festival, and I swear that date brings rain. It's a small event in town, but everyone likes a sunny day to spend time walking their dogs and looking at the crafts. The sun was nowhere to be seen bringing a day of clouds and dampness. You know, that cold raw feeling in the air. Selling books at crafts shows is a tough business. Selling books on alcohol abuse is even harder.
So many people say the topic is too close to home, or it brings back bad memories. As for the alcoholics and drug users, I believe my new book, What is and isn't Working for the Alcoholic and Addict is starting to move. Here is a book that helps take the pressure off the non-drinker trying to help their loved one, gets the message out to doctors, counselors and society on what they believe has to change to help them. How?
For the Family:
Let the 34 alcoholic and drug contributors of the book do the work for you. That is why they are telling the world their lives with addiction to help others. All of us for some unknown reason hate getting advice from family members, yet we listen to strangers. I gave a talk a few weeks ago at the UMass University in Boston, Massachusetts, and two women were frustrated trying to help the alcoholic.
I told them to buy the book, read it, and once they were done, bring it to the home of the person they are trying to help and put it on their table, and just say, "I read this and thought you would find it interesting. Give it back when you are done," and walk away. No more talk on it. Sooner or later, I'm sure the alcoholic will want to read what the others have to say fighting their same battle.
They also tell family members what they believe we should do to help them during their recovery. What are we doing wrong? What do they need from us? The number one thing they say we do wrong is with our innocent enabling which only brings them deeper into their addiction. They answer 23 questions that I was left with when Richie and Lori died from their addiction. I need the answers from no one better than the addicted themselves.
For the Addicted:
What can be more powerful than one addict helping another. It's unique! Who understands you more than someone with the same struggles trying to recover? With 34 short stories, there has to be one person you can relate to and say, "That me" or "That's our family." They are honest telling you how they started, why, who in the family in the past was an alcohol or died from it, what made them get the strength to fight the battle and come out winning.
Learn that you are not alone, have anything to be ashamed of, fear comes from thinking of taking the steps, but they diminish when you start going forward toward your goal, and how to develop the desire and strength to recover.
Go to Amazon and buy the book in paperback or Kindle. This link will bring you to all my books or just key in my name Alberta Sequeira:
This is going to be an odd post from me. My writings are mostly on substance abuse issues, but I feel it it extremely important to bring notice to Babesiosis that is going around without doctors educating the people of this illness. I have been out of commission and suffered for six weeks with this horrible tick illness. This is worse than Lyme Disease.
Babesiosis is an infection caused by a malaria-like parasite, also called a “piroplasm,” that infects red blood cells. Babesia microti is believed to be the most common piroplasm infecting humans, but scientists have identified over twenty piroplasms carried by ticks. Ticks may carry only Babesia or they may be infected with both Babesia and Lyme spirochetes. People can also get babesiosis from a contaminated blood transfusion.
The first case of babesiosis was reported from Nantucket Island, Massachusetts, in 1969. Since the late1980’s, the disease has spread from the islands off the New England coast to the mainland. Cases have also been reported all across the United States, Europe, and Asia.
Symptoms of babesiosis are similar to those of Lyme disease but it more often starts with a high fever and chills. As the infection progresses, patients may develop fatigue, headache, drenching sweats, muscle aches, nausea, and vomiting. Babesiosis is often so mild it is not noticed but can be life-threatening to people with no spleen, the elderly, and people with weak immune systems. Complications include very low blood pressure, liver problems, severe hemolytic anemia (a breakdown of red blood cells), and kidney failure.
My onset with this illness started in June of this summer when I discovered a “tiny” tick on my upper thigh while showering. I thought it was a piece of lint left from my slacks when I undressed, until I saw a movement from the tick.
It took my husband a long time getting it off with tweezers and putting the whole tick into a baggie in the freezer. The next day, we brought the tick to the doctor who sent it to a lab. I was then sent for a blood test for Lyme disease. The lab goofed and found what kind of tick (deer) but didn’t test for Lyme. The doctor instantly put me on doxycycline for two weeks because these ticks carry Lyme. The test came back negative, so I just carried on with my life as usual.
In August, I noticed I was doing a lot of sleeping on the couch each day and found I had a hard time waking up. I felt drugged. If we went shopping in the morning or other activities, when we came home, I felt weak and had to lay down. After two weeks, I knew this was not normal and called for an appointment.
The doctors did an EKG on me to see if my heart wasn’t having problems. I am a heart patient with a pacemaker and a diabetic. Everything seemed fine.
Then I got chills, a low-grade fever, body aches, the sweats had me keeping a towel by my bedside to wipe myself, no energy, sleeping during the day, neck soreness, and nausea 24/7 for over two weeks.
Within a week, I developed a huge rash on the back of my waist that was itchy and then turned to pain.
There was no bulls-eye in the center. I had to go through a different blood test which showed Babesiosis. The doctor said lucky this was found because it breaks down the red blood cells and can cause kidney failure. I was then sent for another type of blood test for the red blood cells and kidneys.
I was immediately put on 1-600 mg of Azithromycin to start and 9 days of 500 mg, on top of Atovaquone 750/5mil, 1 tsp twice a day for 10 days. This medicine cost $700 unless you are lucky like I was, to have the secondary insurance pick some up. It cost me $145.
Why did I have a negative report in June? I was told that the test was done too soon to show up and that the second round of medicines were the only ones that cure this disease. I am starting to feel myself after four months.
If anyone is suffering from these symptoms, get a blood test for an unnoticed tick bite. This is a form of Malaria and will keep returning if it is not treated. Your kidneys can also shutdown. After a week of treatment, on my request, I had a blood test again on my kidneys and red blood cells to make sure they were clear because I was still sweating at night.
When I repeat my A1C test in December, I will request the same blood test along with my blood count to confirm no damage has been caused.
Two doctors told my husband and I that there are more cases of Babesiosis going around than people realize. I also received a call from the Board of Health, needing to report my treatment and medicine that I was taking.
If you have been suffering with these symptoms, do not take them lightly. After three years, one family member had no idea why he was sick with joint pain, headaches, and sweats and learned through tests that he had had Babesiosis way back then. This disease had a long length of time to progress and attacked his body with symptoms that will keep coming back on him as Malaria would show.
How easy it is to start out gun-ho to go on the road to recovery and then wake up one day and feel your confidence has disappeared. Panic sets and you don’t want to continue. It’s only fear. It’s a distraction you can pass by taking a break. Go for a ride to the beach and unwind, visit family who support you or call a friend from AA who has accomplished overcoming this stage you are in that day. They have all been there.
Don’t go to your regular hangouts, drinking friend or any environment that helped you get into this habit of drinking or getting your drugs. Anyone trying to change the course of their lives runs into roadblocks. It’s what you do about them that counts. How serious are you with wanting recovery? This is only a test. Getting to where you want to be is not easy with any change. Habits are hard to break, and they make you comfortable because you are familiar with that life, even though it’s bad. You have to look at what life you are heading toward, and realize that if you return to your bad actions, life will no longer exist; you will be looking at death.
There can’t be a better feeling of accomplishment for an addict than getting to sobriety. It won’t be easy to get there or stay there. But you can do it. Just read my Narrative Non-Fiction What is and isn’t Working for the Alcoholic and Addict to see how thirty-four addicts recovered. What helped them? You will appreciate the gift because you persevered with every ounce of strength in your body to reach it. Something good is worth fighting for if it gets you healthy in mind and body again.
Don’t mistake your lack of knowledge as lack of ability. Lack of knowledge in not keeping in touch with professionals and the addicts who became sober. Without these, you are apt to quit. Don’t take the easy road to fall again and give up on trying. Everything in life that is good for us comes from keeping that mind clear to get where you want to go.
One problem is feeling you have to get sober fast. You won’t. It took you years to become an alcoholic and it will take time to give it up for good. You have to do the work. Family can only love and support you. When you feel weak to continue on, think back to the deep desire within you that developed to reach your goal. Fight for it again.
Life has a way of working itself forward. We can’t change what we did years ago or yesterday. That’s how life goes forward. It is us that makes the choice to go backwards. Losing your confidence is normal; realize this so don’t get torn apart with this process. Mental work can become exhausting. Buy a good book and relax the mind for a few days or weeks. Everyone needs a break trying to finish a task, because we work so long and hard getting there.
Having stress in life from jobs, raising a family, meeting bills, losing a loved one, breaking up with your lover, problems at school, family fights, or other personal problems, can be an easy excuse for an alcoholic to fall back. Lets face it; alcoholics love excuses to give them a reason to go out and drink. It is not easy either knowing all your drinking friends are gathering together and having what you think is fun. They are only digging a hole faster with their lifestyle. Get honest, out of denial, and tell yourself that you are better off without them or the drinking. Until you reach the point of believing this with your whole heart and mind, you won’t make it.
Become familiar with all your feelings that pull you toward going back to your habit and step through the fear. Start a journal to see how it just keeps repeating itself. Take time to pray to God and ask for His help. Doing this will never have you alone with decisions.
Forgiving may not seem like an action that is that important to heal and recover from alcohol abuse, but it is. The first person to forgive is yourself. You made the choice to go down the path of addiction with friends, maybe from an emotional or physical event from the past that devastated you, loneliness, hurt, abuse on you, bullying, or whatever reason. We all make mistakes in life. Someone physically hurting us or giving emotional abuse, can mold us into what we become in adulthood.
As a young child, you can't defend yourself. You depended on the other sober parent to protect you and a lot of times that person fails you. I failed my two daughters by not getting them out of that unhealthy environment. Lori became an alcoholic and died like her father. Debbie was effected more emotionally than she knew as time went on in her adult life. Everyone is effected by the drinker. Innocently, the parent becomes a great enabler bringing the alcoholic deeper into their addiction. They live in denial the same as the drinker thinking the problem will go away. So what happens, it's a merry-go-round of sick lives living behind closed doors to silent abuse.
It is not easy to forgive the person who hurts you. If you don't, you live the rest of your life in anger, hurt, resentment, and turn to alcohol or drugs to drown your past. You slowly become the person you were upset with in the first place. This action of over-drinking needs professional help.
We all never forget our past, but it's what we do with the rest of our lives that counts. You can stay stuck feeling sorry for yourselves and hate the person who made your life so awful or forgive them and move on to become better than them. Why give up happiness? Why let the past rip us up inside? They either don't know you are upset with them, or do and don't care. Someday you will look in the mirror and see yourself at sixty years old still drinking because you didn't want to get on with life. You make your changes.
Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves. You don't have to associate with that person and forgiving doesn't mean they were right. It means you are going to go down the healthy path and have a good life for you, a future mate and children. Ending the abuse, starts with you. Don't use your hurts as excuses to drink. Alcoholics look for any excuse to drink so you can feel they are reasons for our actions.
We suffer because we keep thinking back to our pain and we repeat and repeat our past to anyone who will listen. What you are trying to do is show how right you are and how wrong someone else was. You're trying to control the situation. Let it go and put it in God's hands. You can't move on until you let go of the past. You can't return to it and change anything that happened to you. What you are missing is not bringing appreciating the good within you. You hold the key to the way of recovery.
Feel alone and weak? Purchase What is and isn't Working for the Alcoholic and Addict in Amazon. It's written by 34 substance abusers. Who can understand you more than another addict? Learn what helped them. Key in Alberta Sequeira name at www.amazon.com and all her books will come up.
Today, I want to take an excerpt from my book Please, God, Not Two: This Killer Called Alcoholism, which is a sequel from Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round: An Alcoholic Family in Crisis. These are my words to describe my pain watching my daughter being taken off life support.
For the last time, Dr. Sousa met with the immediate family in the doctors’ conference room. “Lori’s organs have all shut down. It’s only the life support keeping her going. The next stage is her possibly having a heart attack, as we talked about. The stress of no organs working is going to cause something dramatic to happen to her physically. In two days, Thanksgiving will be here, and it would be sad to have her die on that day. Any day is bad, but the holiday won’t have good memories any of you.”
How could any of them after this, I thought.
We all knew what he was saying. I believed that she died on Sunday, when she had been rushed to ICU hemorrhaging throughout her body. Here it was Tuesday, and we were selfishly keeping her alive by a machine, only for us. She no longer looked like Lori because of the horrible battle her body had gone through trying to hold onto life.
After an hour, the family decided to take her off life support. We were now hoping God would take her swiftly without any more suffering.
Oh God, how do we do this? Once life support is taken off her, she’s gone, never for me to enjoy again. Why didn’t you take her Sunday so we wouldn’t have to make this decision? I felt like we were about to take her life instead of God doing it.
Family members and friends took their time to be with her for the last time. Everyone carried pain on their faces along with the continuous flow of tears.
Lori's son, Joey and her daughter Meagan, arrived and entered the room. We weren’t sure if they should be in the room while they took the machine off their mother. They needed good memories with her. They were only seventeen and eighteen years old.
The nurse spoke softly to our family, “There’ll be no sudden movements from her, and she’ll go peacefully. We can take the ventilator off her, but I’ll keep the tube in her throat so you won’t hear gurgling sounds. They can upset a family.”
I suddenly felt sick and dizzy. Nausea overtook me. Why did she say that to us? My legs were ready to give out. When my husband, Al, saw my emotional and physical distress, he got me a chair.
The nurse walked over to disconnect the ventilator.
No, don’t touch her! Please, God, not her too. You took my husband, Richie. I’m not going to live through this.
I was trying not to become hysterical, fighting the desire to scream at the top of my lungs. I fought to control the urge to go over and reconnect the ventilator.
She can’t breathe. Put it back on! I was in a state of horror, although, my body was absolutely still, just staring at my daughter, Lori.
“It won’t take long,” the nurse said quietly.
Lori was in the slow process of dying, and the nurse walked around quietly collecting things to be thrown away after shutting everything down. She had no emotional ties.
I watched the monitor as Lori’s vital signs started to fall. Her normal heart rate was erratic turning from short to long wave lengths.
Stop this. Oh, God, her heart is stopping. We’re killing her!
I stood up and kissed her, while the tears blinded me. I whispered, “Go to the light, Lori. Jesus is waiting for you. Take everyone’s love with you.”
She took two deep breaths. Her eyes suddenly opened and rolled back. The nurse came over and closed her eyes so they wouldn’t frighten anyone, but she was too late to hide the scene.
“Oh, God, No, No, No!” I screamed. My daughter was gone. I cried uncontrollably as Al held me. The other family members left the room in tears. My daughter, Debbie, Al, and I stayed.
I sat looking at my daughter, lying so still; no chest movement or sound of her breathing were seen or heard. My child whom I had carried for nine months, the one who moved inside me, the child to whom I had given birth and watched her lungs fill with air to give her first cry. All the memories of love, her laughter that echoed in rooms, were gone. I had watched her take her first steps; watched her go from a child to a teen, to a young woman, to a mother. Even the bad times were good, because she had been with me.
Now, I was there to see her take her last breath. I watched her come into this world, and now watched her leave it. God gives and He takes away, because we belong to Him. Our children are a gift from Our Heavenly Father. In the end, we all return to our Maker.
The alcoholic demon was not happy taking my husband, Richie. It returned to take my precious daughter. I knife went into my chest and cut my heart out.
Purchase this book and all published by author, Alberta Sequeira at Amazon.com. Key in her name to see all her books.
How many times in your life have you paused and thought: If you would have told me ten years ago that I'd been doing this heavy drinking, I wouldn't have believed you. Sometimes whatever it is that would have surpassed you ten years before is a good thing, and sometimes it's not a so great.
Life is endlessly surprising, and although you may act though the life you created with drinking and using drugs is in your control, it really isn't. You may act as though the path you took is safe and something that you can stop anytime, but in reality the percentage of deaths with using is overwhelming.
So grow closer to God and prayer, A.A. sponsors, counselors and other alcoholics with a serious desire of reaching sobriety, and hopefully, you will become stronger and wiser to where you are heading; on a dead end road.