Cardinal Borgia: A pie in your eye!

This column is satire. Get over it.
TV Classic - Moe Howard instructs Mike Douglas on the slapstick pie fight.

My dearest children,

The other day my entourage and I were strolling the aisles of a local retail store and came up a most curious children's game called Pie Face offered as a Christmas gift suggestion.  As My Eminence understands it, you put some whipped cream (or a wet sponge) on a mini-catapult.  Then the players, one by one, put their face in a plastic circle, toggle a control and "Russian Roulette" determines whether you get the "pie" in your face.  All this can be yours for under twenty bucks!

The silliness of this game, got our entourage thinking... whatever happened to the classic slapstick pie fight?  Remember the Three Stooges' pie fights?  What about The Little Rascals or any of the other screwball shows of that era?  They were doing pie fights on TV up through the 70's.  The famous "food fight" scene in 1978's Animal House is the last classic adaptation of a pie fight (college cafeteria food fight, in this case) that I remember seeing in film.

What happened?  Slapstick comedy still exists but the pie fight seems to have faded.  Could this be a lost art that needs to be restored?

I had the Curia do some research on the lost art of pie fights and they unearthed an absolutely fun piece where an elderly Moe Howard (of the Three Stooges, for the unenlightened) instructed talk show host Mike Douglas and actor Ted Knight in the fine art of the pie fight.  We embedded the video below and hope you enjoy it.

While we in the Cardinal's cloister all enjoy today's cinema of violence and lewd comedy as much as any, the innocent silliness of the slapstick pie fight makes My Eminence yearn for a return of this fine art.  Can you imagine a final presidential debate with Hillary and Donald each standing next to a dozen cream pies?  Now that would be a debate worth watching!

Most devoutly,

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