Kim Jong Il's "To Do" List

In order to keep my life organized I am constantly creating "to do" lists for myself. This past weekend was no different. It all began at the D-Y football game on Friday night. There I was in the bleachers with my little green notebook, jotting away. People nearby probably thought I was writing football poetry, but no, it was just a list of routine entries: clean garage, rake leaves, clean gutters, go to dump, caulk shower, check auto oil, return books to library, get my daughter Melissa going on her next college application.

sheedy_listsLet's take each item in order.

  • First, D-Y lost to Marshfield (better luck on Thanksgiving vs. Nauset).
  • Second, clean the garage: I will save this for a future blog (as there is no place where a man feels more at home than in his garage, surrounded by all his tools and power equipment and motor oil).
  • Third, rake leaves / clean gutters: Is it just me, or does it seem there are more leaves this year? Perhaps they're being shipped down from New Hampshire as some sort of interstate foliage exchange program.
  • Fourth, go to dump: I love going to the dump because
  1. I'm on a first name basis with a number of the employees, and
  2. I enjoy the routine. I know where everything goes ... plastics over here, glass over there, nuclear waste in the glowing dumpster ... it all makes perfect sense.
  • Fifth, caulk the shower: self-explanatory.
  • Sixth, check auto oil: self- explanatory.
  • Seventh, return books to library: self-explanatory.
  • Eighth, get Melissa going on her next college application: Have you had a chance to notice the cost of college these days? It's absolutely nuts! The cost of attending my alma mater has increased by a factor of ten (10) over the past quarter century! So we're looking at state colleges and universities ... so that my wife and I don't end up in debtor prison for the rest of our natural lives.

I suppose everyone has a "to do" list that they're constantly adding to and crossing off from. For instance,

Britney Spears' list must look like this:

  1. get married, have baby,
  2. get divorced, get remarried.

Big Papi's must read: 

  1. hit home run,
  2. hit double,
  3. hit home run.

Stephen Hawking's: 

  1. contemplate the beginning of universe,
  2. contemplate black holes,
  3. contemplate the uncertainty principle,
  4. contemplate quantum mechanics.

Kim Jong Il's:

  1. puff hair,
  2. starve population,
  3. build nuclear weapons,
  4. detonate nuclear weapons,
  5. take over the world.

God's: 

  1. create universe,
  2. create concept of evolution, leave things to just happen for the next 20 billion years or so,
  3. allow gravity to collapse the universe,
  4. start all over again.

As for my list for this coming weekend: rake more leaves.

Jack Sheedy

PS: "Dancing with the Stars" has ended in a tie. Does that mean it now goes to the Supreme Court to decide a winner?

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