Rant & Rave

Al-Qaeda's Ayman al-Zawahri (a/k/a "Dr. Evil") recently released a new video in which he once again promised doom and destruction to the USA. In the past he has recorded similarly themed messages that have found an audience on Al Jazeera TV, on various terrorist websites, and at religious fundamentalist discotheques located throughout the Middle East.

What is not well known here in the West is that al-Zawahri has released a number of best selling music CDs as well, crooning fanatical favorites from his cave recording studio located deep in the hills of Pakistan. These songs, along with digitally restored tunes sung by some of the nuttiest world leaders you'll ever want to meet have been assembled into one convenient music collection entitled Rant & Rave - Music of the World's Madmen. And now, through this exclusive TV offer, you too can enjoy these wonderful songs in the comfort ... and in the relative safety ... of your own home!

Who can forget al-Zawahri's three chart-topping hits - "God Will Destroy You!" "God Will Crush You!" and "God Will Annihilate You!" - recorded with the ever-popular Jihad Dance Trio.

Listen as al-Zawahri teams up with Osama bin Laden for the classic duet, "Have You Seen My Camel?" Rant & Rave also includes Saddam Hussein's Top 40 ballad "I Gave My Heart to You ... Though I Gave My WMDs to Syria" and Ayatollah Khomeini's big 1980's hit "Hostage of Love." And where were you when you first heard Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's upbeat Iranian rocker "Feel Like Making Nukes!"

"You just can't find songs like these in stores. But thanks to this exclusive music offer, they're now part of my CD collection!" Bill M., Music Fan

"This is a great offer. Never before have there been so many wonderful hit songs from so many crazy fanatics ... all in one place!" Janice P., Another Music Fan

But wait! There's more! See if you remember this Top 10 classic from Libya's Muammar al-Gaddafi, the soulful "I Used to Be a Crazy Terrorist Dictator, But Now I Am Disarming." Or sing along with Idi Amin and the Gang to his energetic "Uganda Polka." And who can forget Kim Jong-il's timeless ballad "Meet Me in the DMZ." They just don't make music like that anymore!

Order now and we'll throw in a bonus CD, More Rant & Rave - Crazy Men of WWII, as our special gift to you. Included is the mournful Hitler ballad "It's Been a Long, Cold Russian Winter." Just try to keep the tears at bay while singing along to the heart wrenching Josef Stalin love song "It's Off to Siberia With You, My Love, My Love." And what CD collection is complete without Mussolini's comic romp "Do I Look Fat in These Pants?"

"This is an amazing collection ... "Hostage of Love" ... "Meet Me in the DMZ" ... "Do I Look Fat in These Pants?" ... All classics ... Rant & Rave could be the greatest music collection ever assembled." Tom W., Yet Another Music Fan (who used to date Janice P)

"These songs bring me right back to the days of my youth - the sock hop, the malt shoppe, the drive-in, the long gas lines, the depressing evening news, the terror, the ever present fear - boy, those were the days!" Pam D., Still Another Music Fan (who happens to be extremely jealous of Janice P because of her earlier relationship with Tom W)

To order, simply call the number at the bottom of your screen. And if you make your order in the next ten minutes you'll pay no shipping charges. That's right, no shipping!  Your CD collection will arrive in a burlap sack, delivered by a tall bearded man driving an unmarked white van. Just don't ask him any questions. And there's no need to pay him now. We'll simply hunt you down later!

Don't wait! Order Rant & Rave today! Operators are standing by on bugged phone lines, so call now!

Jack Sheedy

CapeCodToday.com welcomes thoughtful comments and the varied opinions of our readers. We are in no way obligated to post or allow comments that our moderators deem inappropriate. We reserve the right to delete comments we perceive as profane, vulgar, threatening, offensive, racially-biased, homophobic, slanderous, hateful or just plain rude. Commenters may not attack or insult other commenters, readers or writers. Commenters who persist in posting inappropriate comments will be banned from commenting on CapeCodToday.com.