The Blog Prophecy

Yesterday, I was tediously sanding paint off the east side of the house - for a solid three and a half hours - when, with a wandering mind, it occurred to me that some of my blogs have been prophetic in terms of content. So, last evening before the Red Sox game I reviewed my entries over the past couple of years and culled the following excerpts:

 

From $3.99 per Gallon! (posted on 10/01/06)

That's right folks, $3.99 per gallon. Do you believe it? No, no, I'm not talking about gasoline. No, I'm talking about milk ... one gallon ... skim milk ... from a cow! And what is the reason for the huge increase in milk prices? Demand, they say. Demand? How is that possible? Are people drinking significantly more milk these days? Are people switching over in droves from Black Russians to White Russians? Has there been an increase in the size of cereal bowls? (Little did I know then that gasoline prices would soon eclipse the price for a gallon of milk!)

 

From The Year's Last Word (posted on 12/31/06)

Gasoline prices are inching back up. Soon we'll be at $3 per gallon. I say, to improve our collective psyche, the oil companies should do what food producers have been doing for years -- decrease the size of their product in lieu of raising prices. For instance, have you seen a Devil Dog these days? Or a Twinky? They're puny! So I propose that instead of selling gasoline by the gallon, it should be sold by the half gallon. That way, instead of seeing $3.19 at the pump we'll see prices like $1.59, just like in the old days! We'll be lulled into thinking we're paying less! And let's face it, in these strange times we need as much lulling as we can get. (Boy, what we'd give to be paying only $3.19 per gallon!)

 

Also from The Year's Last Word (posted on 12/31/06)

Ice Caps - They're melting! Every couple of months we hear of an ice sheet "the size of Rhode Island," or "the size of Manhattan," or "the size of Dorchester" falling off into the Arctic Ocean. We need to fix this problem. No worries - I hear the Canadian government, in conjunction with the National Hockey League, is in the process of sending a fleet of Zambonis to the Arctic to make new ice as we speak. (Amazingly, in September 2008 it was reported that a piece of ice described as being "the size of Manhattan" did in fact break off in the Arctic! Unbelievable! See the posting below as well.)

 

From Candidates' Names, Slightly Askew (posted on 1/8/08 - the night of the New Hampshire primary, before the polls closed)

As part of New Hampshire primary tradition the voters of Dixville Notch, situated in the extreme northern part of the state, and of Hart's Location, in central NH, cast their votes at midnight. The combined results were as follows: Obama (D): 16 votes; McCain (R): 10 votes; Huckabee (R): 5; Paul (R): 4; Clinton (D), Edwards (D) and Romney (R) tied at 3 each; Richardson (D) and Giuliani (R) tied at 1 each. Of the 46 voters in the two towns, 11 were registered as Republicans, 10 were registered as Democrats, 24 were Independent, and one was a dairy cow by the name of Gertie.

Coming out of the conventions it will be Barack Obama for the Democrats and John McCain for the Republicans. Obama will choose John Edwards as his running mate. McCain will choose Newt Gingrich. Just months before the November election, a huge chunk of the polar ice cap ("the size of Montana" according to environmentalists) will break off, causing a desalinization problem in the Gulf Stream and sending our hemisphere into a climatic crisis. Panic will ensue, during which Al Gore will be drafted as the Green Party candidate. In the general election, no candidate will receive the majority of the Electoral College, so the House of Representatives will be charged with the task of selecting our next president. And the winner is...  (I was right on Obama and McCain ... wrong on Edwards and Gingrich. And the mention of a huge piece of the ice shelf breaking off just months before the November election is downright uncanny!)

 

From 2009 - An Orwellian Play (posted on 6/18/08)

It all began in 2008. Beneath the weight of a weak dollar, growing war costs, soaring fuel prices, runaway inflation, and a Fall TV lineup of one reality show after another, the economy finally crumbles. A Great Depression lingers over the land, with widespread unemployment and few opportunities for full-time positions offering decent benefits (unless you call 80% medical coverage once the $2,500 deductible is met, and two weeks vacation decent!). This economy forces many folks to sell their dining room set on eBay just to put food on the table ... except now, there is no dining room table on which to put the food ... the irony, huh? (A Great Depression does, in fact, linger over the land if something is not done and done quickly to shore up the stock market and the economy ... although I'm already thinking of hocking my old high school ring to buy groceries this week!)

 

So, there you have it folks, the Blog Prophecy: Obama for the Democrats, McCain for the Republicans, $3.99 per gallon for milk, Arctic ice "the size of Manhattan," and the Great Depression of 2008.

Now for the Red Sox -- I predict they take the ALDS three-games-to-one and eventually go on to beat Manny and the LA Dodgers in the World Series. The week following, voters will cast their ballots in the Presidential election. And the winner is...

Jack Sheedy

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