The Return of Twinkies - A letter from Dandy Looney


Twinkies return to store shelves during Cape Cod Bear Week

Although Provincetown Bear Week this year is not until July 13th - 21th, it happens to coincide with the date when Twinkies are scheduled to return to local supermarket shelves.

For those who aren't familiar with the term, "Bears" are hefty, hairy homosexual males who come to the Cape-tip every July. "Twinkies" is the gay term for effeminate men.

One Bear gave this advise for visiting bears visiting Cape Cod next month,

''Don't miss the tea dance at Boatslip Resort. You should do it at least twice – or three times. Go to Spiritus Pizza at least once after the bars close – that's a ritual. Our early afternoon ritual is to go to the pool bar at Crown & Anchor. If you're up to it, climb the tower at least once.''

Here's is what a friend wrote me about this gay culinary juxtaposition

Will the Bears Devour Twinkies?

From Dandy Looney

I must be getting old.

Yesterday I read about the return of Twinkies and other Hostess delicacies to store shelves on July 15th. Today I saw that Drakes cakes are also making a comeback.

I mentioned this to one of my friends and she remarked, “Oh, that’s right in the middle of Bear Week. Twinkies beware!”

“What the heck is Bear Week?”

Apparently Bear Week is a Provincetown celebration of the “Bear” in gay culture. Wikipedia defines the “Bear” as “a large hairy man who projects an image of rugged masculinity.”

Who knew? Maybe that’s why we had a bear marauding around the Cape last year – trying to reach P-Town for Bear Week.

So does this mean that a horde of hairy men is going to pillage the grocery stores in P-Town on July 15th to obtain Twinkies?

I needed more education. My friend explained the “Twinkie” allusion. In gay culture a “Twink” is (thank you, Wikipedia) a “young looking man with a slender, ectomorph build, little or no body hair and no facial hair.”

Okay… I imagine that a bear animal might enjoy a nice Twinkie of the snack food variety. What does that have to do with a hirsute man and a hairless boy? Gosh, this is perplexing.

I asked a male friend who is tuned into this stuff.

His wisdom: “You need to delineate because some Bears might favor an occasional Cup Cake and others might be attracted to silly Ding Dongs. Still others might switch to Ho Ho’s to keep Mom happy while never forgetting the icy sweetness of Sno Balls.”

Gosh, if that’s what the Bears are into does that mean that Twinks are into Devil Dogs and Funny Bones?

…and can someone please tell me the difference between a Bear Cub and an Otter?

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